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Vasant Falls, New York Chanting

October 4th, 2002

Vasant Falls, New York

Chanting the Holy Name
I have a friend who is an older Irish Catholic priest. We occasionally discuss spirituality. He laments that his congregation sees God as just an order supplier. He has recently invited me to come to his church to give a sermon on adoration, the devotional side of religion. Speaking with him concerned me that, unless we focus more on the holy name in our own Krishna conscious life, we will become just another religion rather than a mystical or internal process of self-realization. I realize that I also need to speak more about this to the devotees, that we are not just church-goers, but yogis–at least for a small part of the day.

Obviously this is too vast a subject to speak about properly in such a short time. The day after Vyasa-puja, I will hold a short seminar on the topic for some of my disciples. Next year, I plan to hold a small retreat dedicated to the holy name for all those interested. It is difficult to internally develop our Krishna consciousness in the midst of a culture surcharged with opposition to our values, especially while struggling with the problems of family, work, and social life. Perhaps some devotees residing in vibrant congregations like 2nd Avenue or Towaco can do this, but I think it is also necessary to make times of the year specifically for our internal development–times like our Mayapur/Vrindaban pilgrimage, our visits to Gita-nagari or New Vrindaban, or maybe small retreats dedicated to making observable spiritual advancement based on japa meditation and kirtan.

I’ll just say a few words on the holy name.

I am your harinam guru. Thus, the basis of our relationship is the holy name. Yes, we discuss other things. I guide you, befriend you, and serve you, but a disciple should see all his interactions with guru for the purpose of bringing one gradually to the platform of pure chanting. I will be leaving for Govardhan in three days for my yearly japa retreat. More and more I am dedicating my life to krishna-kirtan. I implore you to take our process seriously and invite you to approach me to discuss chanting the holy name.

Just two suggestions here; one on the method of chanting and one on the mood of chanting:

Understand the term samskara. Samskara means the impressions in our consciousness from past experiences. Because we generally have not grown up very religiously, most of our samskaras are for sense gratification, proper and sinful, subtle and gross. As soon as such impressions enter the consciousness, they push to be filled with the same stimuli that created them. Therefore if we chant in an atmosphere that is not protected from such stimuli, our mind will be inevitably drawn toward our past samskaras, and attentive chanting will become impossible. Create a place and time in your home, free from distraction and reserved exclusively for japa meditation. A small temple room is best.

A message to parents, especially mothers. It is your duty to create the proper samskaras in your children so that, in the future, they will be spontaneously drawn to spiritual life. How fortunate is that child who grows up in a loving and caring home where the parents, especially the mother, worships the Supreme Lord, the Vaishnavas, and the holy name with regularity and devotion?

Krishna is nondifferent from His name, but the degree to which He manifests depends on our attitude.

The proper mood of chanting is one of faith in and surrender. Faith comes from association with those attached to the holy name, which means hearing from them and serving them. I have spent time preparing this talk for the festival only because of the opportunity it avails to foster faith but, in fact, there are so many opportunities throughout the year for sadhu-sanga–especially if you make sadhu-sanga a priority. If you want a taste for the holy name, pray for sadhu-sanga.

Our mood in chanting should be sarangati. The mood of saranagati is the firm vow to accept that which is favorable and reject that which is unfavorable to the holy name. Our full faith must be that Krishna is my only protector and maintainer, our firm commitment must be to the ideal that our only duty is His desire, and we must develop a happy resignation to ourinsignificance before God.

Especially, we need to be humble. Humility comes from selfless service. Is there any dearth of opportunity to attract Krishna’s mercy by serving others? We don’t have to be learned, austere, cultured, or fine to advance in spiritual life–only humble enough to realize our need for refuge and intelligent enough to turn to the spiritual master and the Supreme Lord for shelter.

Another favorite story: I’ve always appreciated the intimate relationship that His Holiness Giriraja Swami had with Srila Prabhupada, who seemed to love Giriraja as a son. I asked Giriraja Swami his secret in becoming such an object of Prabhupada’s mercy. In his slow, deliberate, but sweet manner, he replied, “I am just a mercy case!” What a wonderful process of self realization, where shortcomings become assets simply by realizing them. This was nicely explained in a short text by His Holiness Bhakti Raksaka Sridhara Swami:

“If we truly feel ourselves to be low and in want, then the supply of mercy will come from a higher plane. Everything moves according to Krishna’s sweet will. Our problem is to draw his attention. This will be possible only by increasing our negative tendency, by proving to Krishna, in a bona fide way, that I am the most needy.” (Subjective evolution.)

Message: Make a place and time in your life, free from distraction, for attentive chanting. Take guidance from the spiritual master and the Vaishnavas on how to make a practical plan to deepen your internal spiritual life.

Vasant Falls, New York Worshiping

October 3rd, 2002

Vasant Falls, New York

Worshiping the Deities
I think there is a common misconception about Deity worship in reference to Srila Prabhupada’s statement that beginners can have the Deity of Sri Sri Gaura-Nitai in their home because Their Lordships do not accept our offenses. The term aparadha, offense, literally means “actions that distance us from God.” Did Srila Prabhupada mean that we can be neglectful and careless in our worship of Sri Sri Gaura-Nitai and it won’t affect our spiritual life? I don’t think so.

When Karl and Kelly asked His Holiness Bhaktividya Purna Maharaja if they should get simple home deities, he replied that they should consider the matter very soberly as Krishna is there in the form of Sri Sri Gaura-Nitai and all His Deity manifestations. The Deity should never be neglected, just as we cannot forget to feed our own children or greet our best friend. Maharaja’s advice suits my New York City sense of logic. I think I’ve told many of you the story of when I took a wrong turn while driving–I think it was in Queens–and wound up at the entrance to the Queens Midtown Tunnel. There, the toll collector responded in disgust to my polite inquiry (“Sir, I think I am lost!”) with the declarative statement, “You are either lost or you’re not lost!”

So Krishna is either there or He is not there in His Deity form, and if He is there, He cannot be neglected without risk to our development in devotion.

Of course, Gaura-Nitai is unlimitedly merciful and you will not get the severity of reaction as when you neglect the worship of Sri Sri Radha-Krishna, but still, if after inviting the Lord to your home you neglect Him, it will certainly hinder your progress in realizing His presence–whether it is His Deity, His dhama or His holy name.

Message: Gaura-Nitai is unlimitedly merciful and the minimum standard for His worship is very simple, but it must still be done with regularity, care, and devotion.

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Vasant Falls, New York Serving

October 2nd, 2002

Vasant Falls, New York

Serving a Devotee
Our process of self-realization is to continuously chant and hear about Krishna; it’s not an easy thing. In several places in Srimad Bhagavatam this process is outlined in detail, the most prominent being Suta Goswami’s analysis in the First Canto. After strongly affirming that the best way of enlightenment is to “always (nityada) and with one-pointed attention (ekena manasa) hear about, glorify, remember, and worship the Personality of Godhead” (Bhag. 1.2.14), Suta Goswami raises a doubt. If our process of self-realization requires such a profound attraction for chanting, won’t such a demand discourage people from taking up the process–even many devotees? If one has no taste, then how to attain one? He immediately responds to this query:
Serve the devotees!

“O twice-born sages, by serving those devotees who are completely free from vice, great service is done. By such service, one gains affinity for hearing the messages of Vasudeva.” (Bhag. 1.2.16)

Our process is so nice. It allows us to advance from our current stage of spiritual life, provided that we are humble, take shelter of devotees, and seek their guidance. Let me share with you just a few sentences from Srila Prabhupada’s purport on this verse.

“The servants of God come to propagate God consciousness and intelligent people should cooperate with them in every respect. By serving the servants of God one can please God more that by directly serving the Lord. The Lord is more pleased when He sees that His servants are properly respected because such servants risk everything for the service of the Lord and so are very dear to the Lord. The Lord declares in the Bhagavad-gita that no one is dearer to Him than one who risks everything to preach His glory. By serving the servants of the Lord, one gradually gets the quality of such servants, and thus one becomes qualified to hear the glories of God. The eagerness to hear about God is the first qualification of a devotee eligible for entering the kingdom of God [emphasis added].”

Message: Our advancement is marked by our attraction to hearing the Lord’s glories. One qualifies to hear by serving the devotees. We are fortunate that Srila Prabhupada gave us a mission to serve.

Vasant Falls, New York Hearing

October 1st, 2002

Vasant Falls, New York

Hearing Srimad Bhagavatam
Imagine that you had never met the devotees and are searching in India for a guru. What would you be looking for and what role in your life would you expect that person to play? Wouldn’t you be looking for a person with the wisdom and realization to instruct you on how to become self-fulfilled? Wouldn’t you try to hear from them daily? Srila Prabhupada’s books provide that experience and you can have it everyday. Unfortunately, few people have the taste, discipline, or time to regularly read them. I would like to make a practical suggestion for reading Srila Prabhupada’s books, both for those who avidly study them and those who do not, a method designed to help one regularly experience the dynamic communion with a saint that we all hanker for.

I gleaned this method from His Grace Bhurijana Prabhu, the acarya, in my opinion, for studying Srila Prabhupada’s books. His method of prayerful reading was recently outlined in the issue of BTG describing the life of Srila Tamal Krishna Goswami. I use this method daily and it is also a method that conveniently requires minimum time. I’ll briefly summarize it here. If the process inspires you, then please read Bhurijana Prabhu’s article in full. Mind you, and Bhurijana Prabhu makes this clear, it is not “the” method, but “a” method. I personally use various systems for studying, but I use this one in my morning studies for its personal and inspirational approach.

Bhurijana Prabhu explains his intention:

“The goal of prayerful reading is less an intellectual gathering of information and more an attempt to allow sastra (scripture) to affect us. It is an attempt to gain association, to listen carefully to Krishna’s message, to let potent transcendental words sink into the core of our consciousness. When reading this way, one doesn’t attempt to read a specific quantity. That goal is superceded by a desire for depth of purification through associating with Srila Prabhupada, our acaryas, and Sri Krishna, the Personality of Godhead.”

Rather than outline his procedure here, I’ll briefly describe how I’ve begun to daily employ it my own life.

Upon rising, after bath, I take out the Antya-lila of the Sri Caitanya Caritamrta, the book I am presently reading. I then set a fixed time for reading of either 15 or 30 minutes from where I left off the preceding day. As prayerful reading takes a quiet place without interruption, I choose the early morning, but if I am forced to read later, I ensure a time when there are no visits or phone calls. To prepare myself for association with Sri Krishna through the potent teachings of Srila Prabhupada and other great teachers, I take a few minutes to cultivate the proper attitude which culminates in prayers for their association, guidance, and mercy. Sometimes, I also offer prayers to the great personalities who will manifest in my reading. This morning I especially prayed to Srila Haridasa Thakur. I purposely read slowly without expectation to complete a required amount, and do this until a word, phrase, or idea strikes me. I then pause and read that phrase several times, think of its relevance to my spiritual life, and then bask in those realizations. I continue reading in the same way until another point moves me and repeat the process until my allotted time is up. I finish by offering obeisances to the Sri Caitanya Caritamrta and begin my japa. If I am fortunate, the realizations from my reading will also appear spontaneously in my japa to encourage me in my chanting.

Message: There’s a fortune sitting on your shelf in your room. Utilize it to make your life spiritually prosperous.

Vasant Falls The Five Most

September 30th, 2002

Vasant Falls

The Five Most Potent Items of Devotional Service
Bhurijana Prabhu told me that, for him, a good class is one where he learns at least one thing. Today I hope we can realize the priority of panca-anga bhakti, the five most potent items of devotional service: Worshiping the Deity, hearing Srimad Bhagavatam, serving a devotee, residing in Mathura, chanting the Hare Krishna mantra. Srila Rupa Gosvami explains that if any one of these items is practiced without offense, even by one with meager attachment to Krishna, bhava-bhakti, devotional ecstasy, will arise. My favorite example of the power of panca-anga bhakti illustrates the potency of worshiping the Deity. Many of you may have heard this story before.

Fifteen years ago Shlomo–a squat, simple, and elderly kibbutznick from Israel with children well into their 20s–was sightseeing on his own in India, with no plan to visit Vrindaban, and innocently walked into our temple for an unexpected darshan of the incomparably stunning Sri Sri Radha-Shyamsundar. Love is the inherent attraction between two sentient beings. Shlomo inexplicably felt intensely and spontaneously drawn to the Lord. Overwhelmed with devotional love, a flood of joyous tears poured from his eyes. He then and there decided to stay in Vrindaban to serve Their Lordships, despite the protests of his family. To this day his life is dedicated to the devotional ecstasy experienced by his offenseless worship of the Lord.

Message: If an invaluable treasure is selling for a meager price, purchase it without delay.

Vasant Falls Bhakti is sincerity

September 29th, 2002

Vasant Falls

Bhakti is sincerity
I saw Nitai Priya this morning and mentioned to her that I started writing my Vyasa-puja journal and that the first installment was somewhat strong. She replied innocently, “I guess we didn’t get it last year.”

I don’t want to discourage you. The modern world is surcharged with opposition to the culture of religious life. I’m sympathetic to our struggle to maintain devout life. Im just trying to consider soberly what we need to hear to help us progress. First we must know the proper standard. Then even if we are not up to mark either by weakness or circumstance–and, sometimes, conditions of fate pose serious obstacles–if we humbly accept guidance from one further along on the path, we are sincere. So whether you need to deepen the quality of your japa, and there are disciples approaching me for that, or even need to reaffirm your basic vows, seek instructions from other–especially your spiritual master–and go forward toward the goal from your present standing. Ifyou do so, your earnestness will be rewarded with victory. But if you are faltering in your practices, stagnate in your devotion, and rationalize your weakness, how will you perfect, or even improve, your life?

Message: Know our ideals, be humble, seek guidance, and proceed honestly. Bhakti is sincerity.

Vasant Falls Be religious! One

September 28th, 2002

Vasant Falls

Be religious!
One morning, during japa in the temple room of Gaura Priya and Brajajana’s house, Brajajana suddenly shared a simple realization. “Gaura-Nitai are here,” he said. “I should worship them every day. Why am I not? I wish I were more religious. I just finished a letter to Satsvarupa Maharaja. It’s such a good thing for me, but the last one I wrote was two years ago. Why? I think that we devotees in the West are, for the most part, just not religious.”

He has a point. How many devotees chant their japa religiously at a certain time in a certain place with concentration rather than haphazardly throughout the day in any place, regardless of the distraction? We have Deities, but how many of us serve Them with regularity and attention as if Krishna had appeared in their home? How often and with what eagerness do we join the congregational chanting of the holy name, the yuga-dharma?

I would often meet young men in India who, with honor, describe the religiousness of their family. “My grandfather would do puja every morning and evening for not less than three hours!” In Vrindaban, at a temple of a brijabasi friend, there hangs an eye-catching picture from 1946 of his father, the late Raj Singh, King of Mongryh, standing next to his gold and silver Rolls Royce in front of the British Parliament, where he was a member. He was wearing a neatly pressed grey Nehru suit, holding his bead bag to his heart, and was donned with perfect Gaudiya Vaishnava tilak. “He was a very religious man,” my friend proudly talks of his father. “Although he was so busy administering to the state, he would always chant one lac harinam [64 rounds] before attending the Parliament, without fail.”

America was also once a religious country. When I was young–not even in my teens–and if I was up early enough, I’d sometimes watched from my window a very elderly Jewish man saunter meekly by with the help of his cane to attend the early morning service at the local synagogue. My friends would occasionally also catch a glance of Mr. Gotlin in the morning with his peaceful smile and humble gait. We often joked about his steadiness, how every day without fail, rain or shine, he walked by. But even in our jest, and although our families were not religious, we appreciated the sincerity, steadiness, and goodness of this simple religious man.

My message here is simple: Be religious! If a disciple doesn’t take up the sadhana of his guru how can he achieve perfection?

Vasant Falls For the next

September 27th, 2002

Vasant Falls

For the next week my journal will be focused exclusively on instructions for my disciples on Sri Vyasa-puja. I like to speak extemporaneously, but since this is the only day of the year for us to assemble for the expressed purpose of deepening our affinity for the guru-parampara, I am making an effort to write my thoughts beforehand as I did last year.

Invocation
Knowledge and devotion require the proper space to fully bloom. Even in the spiritual world, knowledge of Krishna and the bliss of serving Him require the soilof Vrindaban to bear the fruit of love. As we gather in the holy land of New Ekachakra-dhama on this auspicious day so nicely organized by you to honor the original preceptor, Sri Vyasadeva, and his representatives, I pray the jewels of knowledge and devotion sprout within our hearts.

Vasant Falls, New York What

August 25th, 2002

Vasant Falls, New York

What is the Mind?

The mind is a repository of conceptions, desires, and emotions.

The function of the mind is to automatically accept and reject whatever comes into the consciousness based on its likes and dislikes.

The likes and dislikes of the mind, until purified by a spiritual process, are connected with the false ego–our desire to control or enjoy. (In fact, the mind is a direct manifestation of the false ego.)

If the mind acts indiscriminately according to its own selfish desires, the false ego will be bolstered fostering illusion and further degrading the consciousness. The mind has become the enemy.

The intelligence can control and train the mind to accept and reject based on discrimination (what is right and what is wrong).

If the mind is controlled by the intelligence to accept those things that imbue it with selflessness and to reject those things that foster selfishness, our real ego as a servant of God will be nurtured. The mind has become our friend.

The “mental platform” is when the mind is not under the full control of the fixed intelligence because either the mind’s desires are too powerful, or the intelligence is not resolute due to a lack of knowledge or realization. Either way, when the intelligence is not fixed, one painfully hovers on the “mental platform”–a distressful state ofattachment, struggle, and indecision.

The “mental platform” is especially excruciating when the irresoluteness of the intelligence is directly due to the mind because the business of the uncontrolled mind is to relentlessly and unendingly seek even the smallest increments of pleasure. Although such wavering is because of the mind, such indecisiveness is often mistaken as discrimination, a function of the intelligence.

To transcend the “mental platform” one must first identify the mind as the source of indecision, and then sincerely guide it by an intelligence fixed on principles, whether those principles come from the conscience, books of revealed knowledge, or learned guides.

One is usually much more decisive on the platform of intelligence than the platform of the mind because on the platform of intelligence there is a standard of set principles by which decisions are made, and in applying those principles, more often than not, many
viable options are acceptable–especially in devotional service. On the “mental platform,” however, only one option is acceptable: the choice that gives one the most material pleasure. And until this option is clearly discerned, even for the smallest upgrade in stimulation, the mind hesitates. When a devotee is indecisive it often indicates that he is on the “mental platform.”

Making vows is a simple psychological technique to keep one on the platform of intelligence and off the platform of the mind. For example, a strong vow to chant sixteen rounds a day will not allow the decision to chant daily become influenced by the mind,
where the attraction for chanting may not have yet matured and where the decision to chant may be irrationally rejected.

Breaking vows, even a little bit, subjects one to the “mental platform” and a potential fall from one’s principles. For example, if a recovering alcoholic who has vowed to abstain from drinking breaks his vow with the rationalization, “I will only drink a little socially,” he is at serious risk of falling into the mental plane where his acceptance and rejection of alcohol is dictated not by good sense, but by addiction–a very dangerous situation. Similarly, if a devotee in the neophyte stage breaks his solemn vow to chant sixteen rounds, they are at risk of having their number of rounds dictated not by good sense, but by the mental platform where so many rationalizations for not chanting will arise based on a lack of attraction for harinama. One should therefore be vigilant in maintaining one’s vows.

Not only will failure to control the mind lead to degradation, without controlling the mind one cannot move forward in spiritual life. Therefore, all processes of yoga focus on controlling the mind.

The mind is controlled in the process of karma by regulating the impulses of the mind and senses by prescribed duties (karma).

The mind is controlled in the process of jnana by detachment (vairagya), militant neglect of the irrational impulses of the mind and senses.

The mind is directly controlled in the process of bhakti-yoga by engaging the mind and senses in theservice of Krishna (sadhana-bhakti). Rupa Goswamihas thus defined the main principle of sadhana-bhakti as “to remember Krishna and never forget Him.”

Of all practices of sadhana-bhakti, the most potent devotional practice for purifying the mind is chanting Hare Krishna.

The Hare Krishna mantra purifies the mind in the following ways:

  1. By focusing on the Hare Krishna mantra, one is automatically neglecting the irrational impulses of the mind and thus, as in all methods of yoga, he gradually strengthens the mind by constant practice (bringing it under the intelligence) and detachment.
  2. Chanting the name of God is a form of service, and God reciprocates that service by gradually removing from one’s mind the selfish desires based on false ego that are the obstacles to one’s spiritual advancement.
  3. God’s names are nondifferent from God, who is all-attractive, and thus by focusing the mind on the Hare Krishna mantra, attachment for the Supreme Lord arises developing within the mind selfless or devotional desires.

A purified mind imbued with devotion will automatically (spontaneously),without the action of the intelligence, accept and reject whatever comes within the consciousness for the purpose of serving God. However, until one is sufficiently purified from material attachment, one must be extremely cautious in relaxing the control of the mind from the strict exertion of the intelligence. If the mind is not vigilantly under the control of the intelligence or insufficiently attached to Krishna, it can easily spontaneously regress to selfishness and degradation.

How one discriminates (the intelligence) what the mind accepts and rejects is based on its faith, what one accepts to be true.

Unless one’s faith is based on sastra, which reveals the Supreme Truth and includes knowledge of the living entity’s relationship with God, controlling the mind by the intelligence will not necessarily purify oneself. For example, one may strictly control his senses with the purpose of gaining greater material enjoyment in the future based on one’s faith that there is no God and that he himself is the supreme enjoyer.

Conclusion: To progress in spiritual life one must control the mind by an intelligence imbued with transcendental faith based on sastra that develops from the association of pure devotees. A faithful person who desires to conquer the mind will sincerely take to devotional service based on chanting the holy name, which is the ultimate conclusion of all sastra.

Vasant Falls, New York On

July 17th, 2002

Vasant Falls, New York

On Suffering II
(A comprehensive list of the ways in which suffering serves a noble purpose.)

“Some are spread over life to temper our enjoyments, lest we seek our joy here; some follow closely upon what is wrong (as discomfort upon excess); some gradually thicken on us, if we neglect the first warnings; some come suddenly or in an instant, to startle people out of lethargy and careless ways, and show them that the life which they are wasting is an earnest thing.

“…some it seems, are the immediate preparation for His Holy Presence; whence, perhaps old age is so generally a period of suffering, and the last illness has mostly so much of heavy suffering. Yet all, if we will regard it, are His fatherly care, tempering our cup with pain and sorrow, as He sees most needful for us; all, in their degree, loosen our hold of this life (as all pain is an earnest and preparation for our final dissolution); all lead up thitherward, where there shall be no pain; all humble us, as being creatures who require it, and deserve far more; all teach us to look into ourselves, to see for what disease in us this medicine has been sent.”

I received much response from the last journal entry, “On Suffering”?much more than usual. The passage above is a selection on suffering taken from a published book of sermons by Dr. Edward Bouverie Pusey, an Anglican preacher and respected Oxford Scholar, sent to me by Mahamuni.

Suffering is obviously a relevant subject as it is the basic condition of this world. In writing an introductory pamphlet to Krishna consciousness, I began:

“If you are suffering, please read further. Actually everyone is suffering for the world is a place of misery. Even the best life is eventually plagued by old age, disease, and eventually death. Such conceptions may seem negative, or even fatalistic, but they are not, for ultimately, happiness lies not in the world we are destined to live, but in our reaction to it. All cultures profess some form of spirituality to teach us how to respond to a world of apparent suffering and to grow in satisfaction and joy. In India, such a discipline is called yoga.”

One of the readers sought an important clarification on my essay. Their question and my response is below:

Q: “I’ve read your journal, dated June 23, 2002, and I find it very interesting. As you said, suffering is a symptom of attachment just as physical pain or bodily is comfort is a symptom of some disease. If there were no pain, one would not know that there is something wrong inside of the body. Also, physical disease can indicate emotional blocks?deeper issues that need to be worked on, communicating to us that we are out of balance.

“So my question is: what if our NEEDS are those that we consider attachments, and one is simply frustrated because his needs are not met? What if, in order to function properly and be a healthy person, one needs a bit of recognition, social affirmation, etc.? I understand that we gradually need to give these things up in order to achieve pure devotional service, but how far does it go? At the same time, I know there are ways around this one from the perspective of our philosophy, but I am not grasping it now. I would appreciate it if you could elaborate on this one, since we need to build a proper attitude in practical, everyday life.”

A: Thank you for your question. My journal was on the existential basis of suffering, which I analyzed as attachment. I was not commenting on how to become purified of attachment. That’s another subject. I certainly wasn’t promoting false renunciation. To help you distinguish the two, I’ll give an example:

The vast majority of people need to get married in order to satisfy their attachments religiously, not to renounce them. By doing so, knowledge and detachment will naturally awaken. However, the fact that advancing spiritually entails satisfying one’s attachments doesn’t discount the fact that we must eventually leave our loved ones?either willingly by vanaprastha or sannyasa or unwillingly by death. The pleasure of family is thus mixed with duality. The more we are attached to our spouse and children, the more we fear what will happen to them, and the more pain we experience when it does; for ours is a world of disease, calamity, and death. So my description of attachment as the existential basis of suffering has nothing to do with the fact that to become peaceful and purified we may have to keep certain attachments and regulate them to advance, which may even include the need for a bit of recognition and social affirmation.

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