Waves of Devotion

A Fifth Commandment Solution to a Second Amendment Problem [1]

March 12, 2018

I was disturbed to hear about the recent school shootings in Florida and the epidemic of school shootings in general. I can’t imagine the pain of a mother burying her own child. I don’t have much to add to the debate on an immediate solution, but the liberality that assault weapons are accessible seems absurd. Obviously, something must be done.

Although some form of legislation is needed to help alleviate this endemic problem, I can’t help but think that there is something more deeply amiss at the root that will not be solved by Second Amendment legislation—the increasing widespread frustration in American youth inevitably expressed in some form of destruction, whatever their weapon of choice. In saying this, I do not intend to minimize the fact that the damage of that destructive urge can be exponentially increased by one’s weapon of choice, just voicing my concern that the root of the problem should not be neglected and that a comprehensive solution must include and prioritize what I call a Fifth Commandment solution.

The Fifth Commandment states simply, “Honor thy father and mother.” I call the pervasiveness of mass shootings a Fifth Commandment problem to highlight that a culture that does not sufficiently focus on and safeguard the influence and importance of the family in the lives of its children will produce a society bursting with resentment and prone to violence, regardless of whether guns are restricted or schools become armed fortresses. Krishna voiced similar concerns about the destabilization of family and its effect on society thousands of years ago in the Bhagavad-gītā, specifically referring to what happens to society when the men in the family are lost due to war.[2]

Unfortunately, today we are seeing in full force what Krishna foresaw in terms of the effect of fatherless families, not due to war, as was Krishna’s concern, but instead due to the general degradation of dharma itself, where the grave duty to properly shelter one’s offspring is selfishly minimized or neglected. This level of irresponsibility in relation to family is a relatively new phenomenon, as is the astronomical spike in mass shootings, practically one a day since the New Year.[3] Can anyone doubt there is a correlation?

I was inspired to do a bit of quick research to support this connection. Here are just a few of the things highlighting this unfortunate parallel between the degradation of cultural norms and school violence, beginning with a description of a reputable university-sponsored project that researched the matter:

“The Director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, Brad Wilcox, pointed out in 2013 that nearly every U.S. school shooting that year involved a young male whose parents either divorced or never married in the first place. ‘[A]s the nation seeks to make sense of these senseless shootings, we must also face the uncomfortable truth that turmoil at home all too often accounts for the turmoil we end up seeing spill onto our streets and schools,’ he wrote in his article “Sons of Divorce, School Shooters.” ‘The social scientific evidence about the connection between violence and broken homes could not be clearer.’ ”[4]

Dr. Warren Farrell, author of “Boys in Crisis,” discusses this same correlation:

“Boys with significant father involvement are not doing these shootings. Without dads as role models, boys’ testosterone is not well channeled. The boy experiences a sense of purposelessness, a lack of boundary enforcement, rudderlessness, and often withdraws into video games and video porn. At worst, when boys’ testosterone is not well channeled by an involved dad, boys become among the world’s most destructive forces. When boys’ testosterone is well channeled by an involved dad, boys become among the world’s most constructive forces.”

The absence of parental influence in children’s lives is not the only contributing factor to societal ills. The devaluation of motherhood can also have a profound effect. In this regard, I was recently sent an interview with Erica Kosimar, a psychoanalyst, concerning her book Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters. Here is an excerpt about her book:

“It’s a problem in our society that all mothers and babies can’t be together for the first year. Our society tells women, ‘Go back to work,’ ‘Do what you want. They’ll be ok.’ And the truth is, children are not ok.

“The book is basically about a devaluing of mothering in society. I was seeing a devaluing of mothering that was impacting children in my parent guidance practice. I was actually seeing an epidemic level of mental disorders [emphasis mine] in very young children who were being diagnosed and medicated at an earlier and earlier age, and I became concerned. And so I started looking at the research, which backed up what I was seeing in my practice—that the absence of mothers on a daily basis in children’s lives was impacting their mental health.”[5]

Broken families across America are producing mentally disturbed and violent children at a rapidly increasing rate. Certainly, the liberality to which such people have access to weapons and the level of those weapons’ destructiveness is a very serious problem that needs to be addressed immediately, but ultimately more than anything else America has a Fifth Commandment problem.

[1] I was almost finished with this week’s Monday Morning Greeting when I read of the school shooting in Texas. Srila Prabhupada liked us to comment on topical issues through the perspective of our philosophical tradition. I therefore wanted to address the recent tragedy, so I am reprinting an old article that dealt with what I think is the root of these problems. After reviewing the issue now at hand, I want to add that what I am suggesting is one consideration amongst others to deal with this tragic issue. I don’t want to minimize the fact that this particular tragedy was avoidable on countless levels and that actual solutions need to be put into action now.

[2] “With the destruction of the dynasty, the eternal family tradition is vanquished, and thus the rest of the family becomes involved in irreligion.” (Gītā 1.39)

[3] https://www.massshootingtracker.org/

[4] https://www.thetrumpet.com/16925-another-school-shooter-another-fatherless-child/

[5] https://nypost.com/video/working-moms-are-producing-mentally-ill-children-saysauthor/

I was recently sent a short documentary about a small nunnery with an adjoining old and ornate church in eastern Ukraine that was gradually being seriously damaged during the war. It was documented over time so you could follow the fear and disappointment of the nuns as they witnessed the ongoing destruction of their nunnery complex caught in the crossfire of a horrible war. I was, however, very impressed with the consciousness of the nuns, both their faith and insight. There was one thing that a young humble nun said that especially struck me: “But even if the war ends, what will people do with their lives?”

I am sure that the nun desperately wants the war to end and is not oblivious to the suffering of her people and the necessity for most people to have a “normal” or stable life to support the pursuance of any wholesome goal, especially God consciousness, but her concern is still valid.  Normal life, especially as structured in the modern world, is certainly nowhere near an end in itself. The crimes of war should be stopped, and moral outrage has its place, but we should not lose sight that what one will return to in “peace” is an increasingly materialistic civilization whose institutions, values, and economic foundations are gradually crumbling—a society more than ever in dire need of a spiritual reformation.

Śrīla Prabhupāda also never thought that the present civilization, even at its best, was “normal”, and he strongly espoused that in his writings even fifty years ago. I explained once before that after finishing my writing in the morning I then read the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, and that frequently I see a certain synchronicity between the two. I would like to share today something that I just read in a purport of Śrīla Prabhupāda’s that expresses the same vision of modern civilization that the nun saw, and that I was writing about. Before doing that, however, I think it is best to first place that comment in context of the section of the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam where it is found.

I am up to the story where after Lord Vāmanadeva, the dwarf incarnation, takes away everything from Bali Mahārāja, who is the king of heaven, Śrī Prahlāda, his grandfather, arrives on the scene and begins glorifying the Lord for having done that. He reasons that having such an exalted position often puts one in the darkness of ignorance. In his purport to these verses, Śrīla Prabhupāda stresses how false prestige due to excessive opulence powerfully influences one to neglect the goal of self-realization. He then goes on to describe how this is certainly true in the case of modern civilization. His prophetic comments offer us a chance to reflect more deeply about what is happening now in Ukraine, the world, and our lives:

“Practically no one is interested in God, one’s relationship with God or how one should act. Modern men have altogether forgotten such questions because they are mad for material possessions. If this kind of civilizations continues, the time will soon come when the Supreme Personality of Godhead will take away all the material opulence. Then people will come to their senses.” (Bhag. 8.22.17, Purport)

We don’t necessarily need a global catastrophe to bring us to our senses. I think most of us can admit that even without war we face many battles in our daily lives. Personally, I see how year by year Śrī Krishna is trying to bring me to my senses by dismantling one attachment after another. Will I finally get the message that there is no refuge in this world but the lotus feet of Śrī Guru and Śrī Krishna?

I feel for the people of Ukraine who are suffering. I feel for the people of Russia who are suffering. I pray that this nasty war ends, but ultimately I stand with the vision of Śrīla Prabhupāda that real liberation is never the result of victory in war, for “even if the war ends what will people do with their lives?”

There is such a disparity between what I want the world to be and how the world moves around me. It often seems so unfair. But what’s unfair? That I am not the controller, that I am not God, in the sense that I am not all-powerful?

Before wanting to have that capacity to control the world, however, I should ask: Would I be good at it?

Perhaps in my short-sightedness I am forgetting the complexity entailed in controlling the universe. For one thing, there is a certain principle of interconnectivity operating in the world, and thus it is not perfection to move a thing just the way one wants or thinks is best without understanding the full ramifications of doing so. It is as short-sighted as a small child being stung by a bee thinking it is best for all bees to be eradicated, not understanding their necessity in cross pollination and how the food chain would be threatened without them. I wonder then, if I had the God’s power to control, would I be controlling the world with the foresight of a small kid?

I think the first thing most people would probably do with unlimited power, and the thing I probably would also do, is to wish away all the bad things that are happening to them, their loved ones, and perhaps the world. Unfortunately, we would lose the invaluable lessons those challenges were meant to teach us. Is it worth it?

Could I do a better job than God? No! I would screw everything up like I did with my life, and no one would get purified, especially me.

But would the world be a better place if I was not only all powerful, but also pure in my desires? What a silly question. If I was pure in my desires, then why would I want to be God? Rather like Sri Krishna Himself, I would pray to become the lover of God, as He did in His full manifestation as Sri Caitanya.

So, If I were God would the world be a better place? The answer: Who cares? I just want to be a devotee!

Letters from Readers

I enjoy occasionally getting letters from my readers. Ken Montgomery shared his reflection on my last post: “Happiness is the Pleasure of a Madman”

Dear Dhanurdhara Swami, 

Thank you once again for your reflection. I was one of those you passed in the street on your way to the park.[1] I moved to the East Village in 1978 and spent a few decades seeking stimulation and sense pleasure. I had my fill. It wasn’t until I was 50 that I was introduced to the Gita and the gradual evolution of my consciousness towards higher pleasures. After 44 years living in New York City, I just relocated to Richmond, Virginia and I love it! I have a long way to go but now I seek pleasure by doing seva at Govinda’s! I feel infinitely fortunate to have awakened to Bhakti and to be the recipient of emails from inspiring people like you. I miss some individuals in New York but don’t miss living there at all. I hear New York is a great place to visit. I might come for the Ratha Yatra.

Hare Krishna

Ken

[1] Ken is talking about my last post where I describe my realizations while walking to Washington Square Park observing all the lost people seeking pleasure in New York.

I haven’t been in New York City for a while. Our car was parked near the Bhakti Center. I proceeded down 1^st Street towards Washington Square Park for the kirtan. Looking around me, I hummed a tune in my mind: “All the lonely people where do they all come from?” I can’t believe how attracted I once was to live here. I read somewhere that six out of ten Americans have either a panic attack or depression at least three days a week. I don’t know the accuracy of that study, but I can believe it.[1] I thought to my myself: “People here just don’t know the science of happiness.”

The title of today’s article is a partial quote about the science of happiness. Here’s the full quote: “Pleasure is the happiness of a madman, and happiness is the pleasure of a sage.”[2] There are two conceptions of happiness described here. Let’s explore them.

The first conception of happiness is pleasure, the stimulation of the senses and the inflation of the ego. It is a mad conception of happiness because it doesn’t deal with where true happiness rests—the state of the mind. In fact, pleasure may be the cause of misery. When pursued carelessly it will degrade or depress the mind.

I somewhat understood this point while still in college after coming to Krishna consciousness and reading the Bhagavad-gītā. It then dawned on me, and I could see it clearly in my college, how people who were most addicted to wanton pleasure, Sixties style, were not the happiest, and too many were seriously depressed. I remember sitting in one college philosophy class where the teacher directly correlated sense pleasure and happiness. I couldn’t help myself. I raised my hand: “If sense pleasure is happiness, then couldn’t we just cure depression by giving someone an ice cream cone?” The “stupid” professor was flummoxed.[3]

The second conception of happiness is not external stimulation, but the state of the mind, which is actual happiness. In fact, even if external circumstances are challenging in terms of the restriction of sense stimulation and ego gratification a person with an evolved mind can still be very happy. After writing this paragraph this morning, I began my morning reading of Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam, and I came across a purport relevant to what I just wrote:

“If one is not trained to satisfy the spiritual senses and continues in material sense gratification, he will never attain happiness that is eternal and blissful. Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam (5.5.1) recommends:

tapo divyaṁ putrakā yena sattvaṁ

śuddhyed yasmād brahma-saukhyaṁ tv anantam

One must practice austerity so that his existential position will be purified and he will attain unlimited blissful life.” (Bhag. 8.19. 24, Purport)

So, what exactly is the science of happiness? The process of evolving the mind to a higher state begins with dharma. What is dharma? We have a myriad of choices to make in our daily life that determine our future or fate. Dharma is the science of making the correct choice, whether that choice is to reasonably satisfy some desire or to renounce it, that gradually evolves the mind to a higher level of perception and contentment. Without a life of dharma there is no question of molding the mind to a state of happiness.

And that lack is what I found so concentrated in Manhattan while observing the scene walking down its streets. People are mostly searching for happiness in pleasure and have little guidance or understanding of the type of life and decisions one must make to elevate one’s perception and contentment. My heart also welled with gratitude. By great fortune I met a bona fide teacher who understood and could inspire a life guided by dharma so that I can move more and more towards the platform where happiness is my pleasure rather than pleasure being my happiness.

I arrived at the park. Gauravani is leading the kirtan. Ananta Govinda is on the drum. Ah! The joy of sankirtan!

[1] I read this in an article that I no longer have access to.

[2] I remember this quote from a book called Happiness by Matthieu Ricard. It is not by him, but he quoted it.

[3] This foolish conception espoused by my philosophy professor is not at all representative of the philosophy professors I encountered in the Academy, whether theists and atheists. Rather, from my experience it is the department in modern education that maintains the highest degree of intellectual integrity.

Śrīla Prabhupāda’s purport was fiery. Jaya Jagannath’s comment on it struck me: “What some people would look at forty or fifty years ago in Śrīla Prabhupāda’s books as polemical, would now just be read by the same people as news.”[1] Yes, the slaughterhouse of modern education, rascal scientists, demons trying to rule the world, and the degradation and oppression of modern civilization—all the things that he spoke about so strongly—seem to be playing out right before our eyes.

I was also thinking of Śrīla Prabhupāda’s desire for self-sustainable communities and his lack of faith that the modern economic system was conducive to practicing Krishna consciousness. I see that now more clearly than ever.

I visited a devotee for dinner. He gets very lucrative overtime pay in his union job, but he is forced to work nine hours a day. His wife also works, but the expenses for his family, mortgage, building repairs, and high taxes force him to keep working at that pace whenever the opportunity arises. A younger student came to me for counsel. She shared her woes. If she ever wanted to take initiation, she would have to quit her job as a consultant for a leadership seminar company. The too often nine-hour seminars daily were crushing her spirit. Of course, these were extraordinary cases—but were they? For some reason, in the last few days, story after story came to me of oppressive work situations, economic woes, exhaustion, and the toll modern life is taking on people’s spiritual life.

Of course, Śrīla Prabhupāda envisioned a solution: an alternate rural lifestyle for families in devotional communities based on simple living and high thinking. It does seem ideal, but can we live that way? I have my doubts. Most devotees are so conditioned by a false standard of opulence[2] that I see few spiritual aspirants or leaders who have made any effort to move in that direction, despite Śrīla Prabhupāda’s vision.

What to do?  Do we just wallow in our present situation crushed by the oppression of working in a materialistic society that continually increases our desires and inflates our needs so that even our hard-earned paycheck returns to their corporate coffers as we are forced to buy what we have labored so hard to produce?

It seems that if we want a more nourishing spiritual life, we require the faith and courage to exert our free will to either change our present situation to one more conducive for spiritual life—if that is within the range of our destiny to do so—or make the sacrifice to live more spiritually within our present situation—if changing our situation is beyond the parameters of our destiny.[3] One can’t therefore discuss making needed life changes without understanding the dynamics of faith. But what is that faith, and why is it so important?

Our faith is our goal and our conviction in the worth of that objective, and for a bhakta it is the trust in the sublimity of devotional service. Without such faith, how will it be possible to gain the inspiration to take the calculated risks necessary to transcend our fear-based narrative of resignment and complacency that immobilize us to a status quo that is killing our soul?

Therefore, the first principle of exacting change is an internal one beginning with prayer, and that prayer is for sādhu-saṅga, for only the bhakta can give us the faith to achieve the things that may well be waiting for us on the other side of our fear.[4] That type of courage-based faith is certainly the story of the success of Śrīla Prabhupāda and other great souls, and the story of those that followed them to give bhakti to the world, and it can be ours at least in making bhakti a more vibrant part of our life.

I will end with a story because I think there is another element to change. We all must deal with our psychology, which often requires tools to overcome the fear of taking reasonable risks. I should also give a disclaimer that I don’t accept that just wishing for something will allow one to achieve it, although certainly when Krishna sees our desire to serve, He is quite capable of moving the world around us to facilitate our devotion.

Sybel assisted me for seven years organizing the very popular Bhakti Immersion Retreat. She was expert, and those who attended the retreats appreciated how well-organized they were. A couple of years ago she called me for counsel. She was tired and exhausted by the grind of her job as a vice president for Morgan Stanley, one of the biggest financial institutions in the world. The hours, stress, and pressure were killing her. I had just happened to have watched a Ted Talk that very effectively discussed how to overcome the impediments to making needed changes in life and thought it would be relevant for her. It was. Sybel watched it, followed the recommended exercises, and quit her job to look for another. Instead of the grind and dissatisfaction of serving the world bankers, which also included a long commute three times a week from her home in Pennsylvania to New York City, she found a more rewarding high management position in a hospital chain for similar money only fifteen minutes from her home.

Let’s end where we began with Śrīla Prabhupāda and his prophetic words and advice:

“’Why should we work so hard, simply for eating, sleeping?’ […] But at the modern age, the human society is so made that one has to work like ass, whole day and night […] But this is not civilization. This is not civilization. Then how can they understand God?” (Lecture, August 23, 1972 Los Angeles)

[1] I attended the morning class of Jaya Jagannatha dasa when I was at Shyam Ashram in Cali last month. This is a paraphrase of a point that he made.

[2] Śrīla Prabhupāda asked Tejiyas das, a former Peace Corps    worker in India, to start a kisan (farm) movement in ISKCON. He spent two years in Boston studying every book he could read on self-sustainable economics. When I would visit him, he would share his realizations. He concluded that farm communities in ISKCON mostly failed because the devotees in the west were conditioned to a false and inflated standard of opulence and thus were deterred by simple life, not realizing that real opulence is a simple life in a devotional community with fresh air and home-grown food with a temple in walking distance.

[3] Change must always be done thoughtfully and with consultation. I know one couple that prematurely renounced a stable situation for a supposedly more devotional one. It didn’t work out and affected their marriage.

[4] This concept of the other side of fear is found in a quote by George Addair that was the basis of the following article that is relevant to our discussion: https://www.forbes.com/sites/amyblaschka/2018/09/04/everything-youve-ever-wanted-is-sitting-on-the-other-side-of-fear/?sh=11622ccf3979