Waves of Devotion

A question recently came to my mind. I have lived here for almost forty-four years. Why? There are two types of causes for doing something: an external cause and an internal cause. The external cause — and note here external does not mean superficial — is why we do something for the benefit of others. The internal cause is why we do things for ourselves.

The external reason why I come here is for sevā, service. One of my important sevās, is to help pilgrims, especially from abroad, to enter, understand, and experience Vṛndāvana. If my sevā, whatever it may be, brought me some place else, I would not be here. And, I should note, that if one leaves this holy place to share its glories of pure devotion then that place is certainly as good as Vṛndāvana.

My internal reason for coming here is that there are people that live and visit here for an extended stay that are advanced in devotion. In other words, I may not be able to fully understand Vṛndāvana, this most holy of places, but because there are devotees/sādhus here who can, I come here to benefit from their association. That brings me to Sādhus of Vṛndāvana, the subject of this week’s Greetings.

Sādhu I

A friend shared his efforts in Kārttika to deepen his attraction for the holy name of Krishna. He described a moment of intense disappointment and frustration. Despite his effort to just focus on chanting for this special month, he was not getting what he wanted. He subtly told me that he was so desperate that he almost began to question the practice itself. At that point his heart suddenly opened, and his experience of the holy name became deeper than ever before. I trusted his word. The only thing separating us from a full revelation of God is our desire to embrace His grace. The sādhu’s extreme disappointment was only a reflection of his intense desire to be with Krishna and serve Him in the form of His holy name, a yearning that attracted Krishna’s mercy. I am grateful for such company.

Sādhu II

Another friend just arrived. Every year he spends the winter in Govardhana. His health is so chronic and debilitating that he can only leave his bed for five or six hours a day before again collapsing in exhaustion. We met and compared notes. He shared with me that despite the fact that his pain is more than ever, his meditation and focus on the holy name keeps on increasing. It confirmed for me a very important point: the holy name in non-different from Krishna and therefore not simply dependent on our ability and effort to mechanically produce it. How else to explain the holy name flowing through someone’s consciousness even when their body is ravaged with pain? Such association is priceless.

Sādhu III

I was more than impressed with what I saw. Bhūrijana Prabhu took me to the site of the Govardhana retreat center. He has been trying to develop it along with Sacinandana Mahārāja for years. The obstacles to completing such a project here in Govardhana are enormous. They have purchased more land since the last time I was here. They now have nearly ten acres with an unparalleled darśana of the sacred mount. The basic structure of almost three hundred rooms is now complete, and everything will be finished with the finest materials. Behind that structure even stands a small mobile-free zone with cottages, including a ventilated basement/cave below each cottage to deepen one’s meditation. A large kīrtana pavilion and separate prasādam complex will soon be started. But more impressive than the physical structure is the consciousness of the leaders of the project. They only want to serve Girirāja and please the Vaiṣṇavas. After years of toil to make this happen, neither will even construct or keep private quarters for themselves. I see this singular desire to please guru and Krishna, and consequent detachment from profit and admiration, as the fruit of their years of deep study of the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam. Such sādhus are rare.

Sādhu IV — A Remembrance

When word came to me that Śrīla Prabhupāda’s godbrother Akiñcana Krishna dāsa Bābājī was hospitalized and near death, I immediately rushed to the CFC hospital in Vṛndāvana where he had been admitted. That was more than thirty-five years ago. Bābājī Mahārāja was famous for chanting the holy name non-stop day and night, and even Śrīla Prabhupāda described him as having no material desires and at the highest level of devotion.[1] Unfortunately, by the time I arrived he had already departed for Nandagrāma, the home of Krishna, where soon after he left the world. As Bābājī Maharja had only left the hospital minutes before, the doctor was still in the room, so I inquired from him about his condition. What he told me was astounding. Although Bābājī Mahārāja had been unconscious when the doctor put his stethoscope to his heart, he heard the constant repetition of the holy name. By my faith I didn’t doubt what I was told, and years later such a phenomenon was also confirmed when studying a book on classical meditation. The book described that the perfection of the constant, concentrated repetition of a mantra after years of practice is that the mantra becomes so deeply embedded in the subconscious that it continues non-stop without extraneous effort. How fortunate to meet such devotees.

“The verdict of all revealed scriptures is that by even a moment’s association with a pure devotee, one can attain all success.” (Cc. Madhya-līlā 22.54)

[1] “Śrīla Prabhupāda himself had spoken of Krishna dāsa as niṣkiñcana, ‘having no material attachments,’ and paramahaṁsa, ‘a swanlike pure devotee.’” Obituary in Back to Godhead, June 1982

A standard definition of “victim consciousness”:

Victim consciousness is a stage of consciousness in which people deny personal responsibility for the things that happen in their lives. People in victim consciousness believe that the world is acting upon or against them, and they are the innocent targets of other people’s action or behavior.[1]

God consciousness is the exact opposite. Here are four examples:

Dharma the Bull

King Parīkṣit immediately rushed to the scene of the crime when he was informed that a bull had been badly beaten. Upon arriving, he immediately inquired from the bull about the identity of his perpetrator. Although the bull knew that the direct cause of his suffering was the personality of Kali, he refused to identify the perpetrator, knowing that without the sanction of the Lord no one could afflict trouble upon him. He then began to explain in detail the various misconceptions about the cause of suffering and described how one uses them to abnegate personal responsibility and avoid learning the lessons God has sent for purification. Observing the bull’s reaction, and hearing his exposition full of knowledge and philosophy, the King recognized the bull as Dharma (the personality of religion): “You are speaking according to the principle that the destination intended for the perpetrator of irreligious acts is also intended for one who identifies the perpetrator.” In other words, although it is the duty of one in God consciousness to protect the vulnerable from exploitation, such a person never embraces or promotes victim consciousness, but rather condemns it.

Vidura

The elderly Vidura was not only unfairly thrown out from the kingdom by his cruel nephew Duryodhana, who he served selflessly his whole life, but was also harshly insulted. As an evolved soul, he refused to play the victim. Rather, he saw that God was delivering him an important message: it was time to retire from the intrigues of family and political life and leave for holy pilgrimage. An elevated soul thus sees destiny as the language of God and his or her oppressor as simply the vehicle to deliver that message.

Bhīṣmadeva

Although Yudhiṣṭhira led a noble and sinless life, his suffering year after year was unbearable. Even worse was that no one could satisfy his inquiry as to why. In frustration he finally sought answers from his grandfather, Bhīṣmadeva, who was lying on the battlefield waiting to die. With great inner strength his grandfather was able to satisfy his inquiry. Destiny, he explained, for all its challenges, is just offering the priceless fruit of deeper realization and inner happiness to those who respond to their fate in cognizance of God’s grace and with righteousness. What is the question of victimhood for a person with such vision and realization?

Socrates

When Socrates was unfairly condemned to die by the Greek assembly for political reasons, his wish to confront his accusers was granted. Rather than feel persecuted, he informed them, “If you think you will harm me, you will not harm me; you will only harm yourself.” Socrates was expressing something quite deep, which is that the self or soul being eternal can only be harmed by covering its intrinsic, righteous nature by acts of selfishness. In other words, if he was executed, the Greek senate, who was to kill him in a mood of deceit and exploitation, would actually be the one disadvantaged and not himself, who would respond in dignity.

It’s unfortunate how far the modern world has veered from this culture of personal responsibility and self-correction based on God consciousness. The epitome of this is the modern more radical interpretation of intersectionality, where the more labels of oppression and victimhood one has accrued, the more one’s view of reality is deemed to have authority and the more one is considered to have moral worth. Certainly, all forms of oppression and exploitation should be shunned, and there are certain unique realizations one can glean from the perspective of the downtrodden, but to ascribe a sort of moral worth and awareness grounded in victimization based on group identity accedes far too much responsibility and power to others to make our life better, especially in contrast to the empowerment to change oneself as delineated in the teachings of Krishna consciousness.

“We all suffer, but to be a victim is a choice.” — Unknown

[1] Barry and Janae Weinhold — https://weinholds.org/victim-consciousness/

My Kārttika thoughts continue from Govardhana, where I am blessed with the saṅga (association) of advanced Vaiṣṇavas:

During a casual conversation, a senior devotee shared this gem: The uncontrolled mind is like a bubble to keep the ego self in the center.

Another godbrother shared his realization on victim consciousness in relation to bhakti with an interesting analogy. He described a recent conversation with his wife of almost fifty years. Like many married people, he said, when something goes wrong, he tends to blame his spouse. He was upset with his wife for misplacing something he needed, only to be reminded by her where he had moved it the day before. Similarly, he continued, when something goes wrong in our life, we tend by natural psychology to play the victim and blame God, when actually everything that comes to us ultimately has its origin in our past deeds.

I loved his point. There is no victim consciousness in Krishna consciousness. We can’t just sit back and blame someone else. We also have to take responsibility and rectify ourselves. This subject deserves more than a few lines of discussion; it needs a whole piece. Expect a Monday Morning Greeting titled “Bhakti and Victim Consciousness.”

If you are satisfied internally, external changes will affect you less. That is one of the fruits of absorption in chanting the holy name. One of the most powerful statements about the power of one’s inner life to help one transcend the dualities of life is from the diaries of Etty Hillesum before her death at the Auschwitz concentration camp. “When you have an inner life,” she wrote, “it certainly doesn’t matter what side of the fence you sit on.”

It is better to watch the mind than to identity with it. If you identify with your mind, you are likely to act on false narratives, which can entangle you in various worldly tensions. Here in Govardhana, I see how much precious time in life is freed for devotional service by japa meditation and the consequent neglect of or disidentification with the mind.

Although chanting the holy name should not be done with the objective of gaining anything material, still I can see how much it positively affects my life. It creates efficiency in life by giving one a clear mind to access inner inspiration and make decisions. By focusing on japa meditation this month, for example, I found that the realizations needed to write Monday Morning Greetings came easier and that the time it took to write them was cut in half.

Kārttika is like an Olympic event—not that I am competing to win something, but like one’s performance in the Olympics, one’s effectiveness in japa meditation is based not just on the moment one begins the activity, but also on what one does beforehand to prepare oneself. That becomes especially apparent to me here, where I feel how much the quality of my life each day, supported by the sublime association and atmosphere of Bhaktivedanta Ashram, positively affects the quality of my meditation the next day. I may not always be able to live here, but the principle applies. The quality of one’s meditation is based on the way one lives, and those serious about going deeper into the holy name have to be vigilant about how and what they eat, and how and with whom they associate.

Sometimes when I’m chanting, deep regrets come to my mind. I can’t count how many regrettable things I have done in life. But I don’t stay in that mental space too long. I refocus my chanting, though I do let that mood linger as a foundation for taking shelter of the holy name. Tāpa (regret), looking back and lamenting one’s previous life based on ego, is the first saṁskāra in the process of initiation.[1] You can’t move forward in spiritual life without condemning your own foolishness. And it is a step you never leave; it remains part of your spiritual life as you advance.

“[I]n full Krishna consciousness, [the devotee] regrets his past experiences in material existence. This regret is very beneficial because it purifies the living entity of material, conditional life. He then prays to the Lord to engage in His service, and at that time, Krishna grants liberation from the clutches of māyā.” Bhāg. 4.29.29, purport

[1] Bhaktivinoda Ṭhākura, quoting the smṛti-śāstra, described the initiation process: “Tāpa, puṇḍra, nāma, mantra, and yāga—these five items comprise the pañca-saṁskāra. They are the cause of intense devotion.” Tāpa traditionally includes purification by repentance and a healthy aversion to material life.

I will try an experiment for this week’s Monday Morning Greeting: rather than develop a specific topic, I will try share the realizations that come up through the week during my morning chanting. Why not? Being here in Govardhana seems to enhance one’s clarity of thought and foster realizations. Let me try:

Until one reaches the level of samādhi, no matter how hard you concentrate, the mind will sometimes wander. The question is, what will the mind wander to? The secret of progressive chanting is more and more developing a mind filled with spiritual thoughts, especially Krishna kathā, so that even when the mind wanders, it will remain in the realm of bhakti and one will be inspired to re-focus one’s attention on the holy name.

God hears our heart, not just our words.

The greatest mercy is when the thing that is best for one is the thing one likes best. Japa is not a chore; there is mercy here!

How can the repetition of three words over and over again not be boring? Simple. Happiness is about consciousness. If our consciousness is awakened in devotion and compassion, we can stay in that space forever without needing to be entertained by a constantly changing world. Focused chanting of the three words of the mahā-mantra, even though repetitious, awakens compassion and devotion in the heart. Kīrtanīya sadā hari. One can, therefore, stay there forever.

Unexpected, the fearful thought of death struck me. My chanting became deeper. An internal warning arose: Develop your spiritual identity, for the one you have will be lost at death.

There are two fears of death: the fear of pain at the end of one’s life and the fear that one will not obtain one’s desired destination. I think the latter fear is greater, because the physical pain of death can be drowned out by drugs or coma. Some solace: if one eventually surrenders to God, one’s destination is assured but real comfort comes only if one surrenders now. Actually, to conquer fear there is no other choice.

Maya’s tricks. I started to feel satisfied with what I am accomplishing this month. A short while after, however, I notice complacency almost imperceptibly affecting my resolve and practice for the sake of comfort. When satisfaction morphs into complacency, it is the enemy of bhakti, because bhakti is based on a deep yearning for the lotus feet of Krishna.

When we hear the holy name clearly and distinctly, it is not just due to our effort at the time we sit down to chant. It is Krishna’s mercy for our service and sincerity, especially the day before.

An obstacle to going deeper in chanting: the thought “What will Krishna have to do to me to answer my prayer to make me really humble and dependent on His mercy?”

Proud thoughts come—how special I am. It’s like poison to my bhakti creeper. It is better to feel bad about oneself.

Pride in victory, or moroseness in defeat, in useless. One should fully depend on the Supreme Personality of Godhead, who is responsible for the victory and defeat of all living entities. (Bhāg. 6.12.7 purport)