Waves of Devotion

Dhanurdhara Swami November 19th, 2002

Govardhana

For the last five days of Kartik I added brijabasi-seva (serving the local residents) to my spiritual practices by sponsoring and distributing first-class halavah for an hour in the afternoon. Our booth was mobbed. According to Nanuram, our simple local brahmana friend, it was the talk of Govardhana town. I calculated that between seventy-five and one hundred-and-fifty thousand pilgrims walked past our ashram every 24 hours for the last five days. Here’s how I did it:

I would watch the front gate from the roof and count the number of people who would pass our gate in a minute. Depending on the time of day, I counted between fifty and a hundred people passing every minute. That’s between three and six thousand people an hour, and fifteen to thirty thousand in five hours. Since it takes an average of five hours to complete parikrama, and since the parikramas continue 24 hours a day, I estimated that a little less than five parikrama parties of fifteen to thirty thousand pilgrims pass every 24 hours. That’s about seventy to one hundred-and-forty thousand pilgrims a day. At least seven devotees were participating feverishly in the operation, preparing and serving the cups, and it was worth it because it gave us a chance to associate intimately with the brijabasis, but in an appropriate way.

One thing was evident: These simple villagers are much happier than people in the West, or other Indians living in the cities and towns. After today’s distribution, I casually spoke about this to Gaura Narayana Prabhu, who grew up in a village near Jagannatha Puri over forty years ago. He related the peacefulness of village life in India:

“They don’t worry so much about money because they are self-sufficient, which is ironically Srila Prabhupada’s professed ideal for how our devotees who are not preaching in cities should live. How is the money problem solved? They all have a house with no mortgage and no property tax. Food is in ample supply from the fields. When I was young, we ate four times a day. We were basically quite healthy because of the way we lived. If someone was sick, the elders knew some home remedies from local herbs and plants, so there were no medical expenses. I can barely remember anyone going to a hospital, whereas today, for the smallest thing, one goes and spends money. For more serious illness, every village had a good vaidya, an ayurvedic doctor, or at least one in a village nearby.

“We had a nice welfare system also. If someone needed help, the whole village would support them with whatever they needed, and we didn’t try to make others feel obligated or dependent because of their misfortune. There was no need for transportation. All our family and friends lived in our village and all of the necessities were provided there, so why would anyone take up the trouble to travel somewhere else besides for pilgrimage? We had weavers, barbers, craftsmen, and so on; everything was right there. And we weren’t bored. At night, a local brahmana would go to someone’s house and recite the Mahabharata. It was so quiet–no electricity, no loud speakers, no noise pollution–that you could practically hear the recitation throughout the entire village. Even those who were illiterate knew more sastra than most devotees today, just from hearing. And if someone got a government job, even a few hundred rupees, he was very well off, as all their other needs were met. Now, even if one makes a lot of money, he feels economically oppressed and in anxiety about money, even when the wife works, because the government and so many artificial expenses plunder whatever they have. Actually, every family would have at least a little money from selling their vegetables.”

I thought, Is the anxiety we pay for modern life worth it? The nature of attachment, even to useless things, is such that they bring us under the false impression that the anxiety of being without them is greater than the anxiety we pay to have them. What an illusion!

One main cause of distress in modern life is the lack of stability. Where to live and find a community? Whom to marry? How to earn and find fulfillment in our occupation? Any one of these problems for many seems like a lifetime of distress. Is there any wonder why so many young people today are under so much stress? Hardly anything in their life is settled and their future is so uncertain.

In contrast, in traditional village life, the community where you were born was the community you lived, a suitable mate would be arranged at an early age, and there was training and service according to one’s nature.

I was especially noticing the contrast between the young local brijabasi girls who stopped by our booth for prasadam and the teenage girls of today. The village girls seem so much more mature and less confused. Almost all of them were married with young children who they carried on their hip. They seemed relatively peaceful and carefree as they walked in groups singing songs about Krishna in brajabhasa (the local vernacular).

Kartik, the month of Sri Radha, ends tonight. I am satisfied that I carefully used my time this month for Her pleasure and feel visibly uplifted by the experience–all Prabhupada’s mercy!

• Uncategorized
• Comments Off on Govardhana For the last five

Dhanurdhara Swami November 15th, 2002

Govardhana

Bitterness and Hurt:
Bhurijana visited the ashram today and came to my room. He specifically asked about my chanting this month. I discussed my realizations with him and he shared his.

He asked if I was happy in Govardhana. I said I was, but that I also shared some lingering resentment that seemed to arise occasionally over some past experiences. I liked his advice about how he deals with similar feelings that most of us seem to have:

“Don’t try to artificially transcend those feelings because they could come back to haunt you. I learned an effective psychological technique to deal with them that is congruent with Bhagavat philosophy. You feel the anger and bitterness, not transcend it, and you remove yourself in your mind from the circumstances and people responsible. Then, meditating on those feelings but divorced from the situation in which they arose, transfer them to your own karma and accept them in the mood that it is a token reaction for one’s own mistakes–tat te nukampam. In other words, if needed, keep those emotions, but see yourself as the cause. I usually find this way of dealing with the past very effective in purifying oneself of the type of resentment that can force one to take birth again to repay it. I don’t want to come back.”

I tried his meditation on the spot. Very effective.

Our Door to the Spiritual World:
As I discussed my chanting with Bhurijana Prabhu, we broached the subject of how individualistically spiritual life can develop; how different Godbrothers approach both their spiritual practices and internal spiritual life in such variant ways, yet still within the general framework of the principles of Krishna consciousness that Srila Prabhupada gave us. Bhurijana added a profound point to the discussion:

“It seems that the ‘taste’ that Krishna has given us is our door to the spiritual world and we should follow it.”

• Uncategorized
• Comments Off on Govardhana Bitterness and Hurt: Bhurijana

Dhanurdhara Swami November 13th, 2002

Govardhana

Japa Thoughts IV
Nothing changed today in my routine. I woke up at the same time. I chanted the same. The result, however, was better: my chanting was clearer and substantially more devotional.

Realization: Success cannot come by effort alone. Mercy is required. If we depend solely on our exertion, our chanting will not be in the proper frame of mind. If we chant in a mood of dependence, relying on His mercy, then to some extent we have already received mercy, for our disposition is already imbued with humility and devotion.

Chant, pray, chant, beg for the mercy. Take full shelter at the lotus feet of Govinda. If our chanting does not come to that point, real chanting has not begun. Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati has therefore warned:

“Make your chanting heart deep, not just lip deep.”

Srila Prabhupada describes the relation between work and mercy in attaining the Lord by referencing Narada Muni’s failure to see Lord again by the same process he had attained His audience before:

“When He pleases, being satisfied with the sincere attempt of devotional service depending completely on the mercy of the Lord, then He may be seen out of His own accord.” (Bhag. 1.6.20)

Japa Thoughts V
I can go deeper in my practices with just a little more surrender and a modest effort, but I don’t. Why? I fear the result. I will become a servant. Servant?! Who wants to become a servant? Just see the nature of the mind and its petty attachments. I am doing the work of spiritual life, but I’m not pulling up the anchor of false ego. It’s just like the story of the wedding party: they row all night, but find themselves in the same place at dawn because no one pulled up the anchor! We militantly keep ourselves independent of Krishna’s will to enjoy whimsically.

What to do? How to go further? Just go on chanting. Hopefully, by nama-bala, the strength of numbers, mercy will come.

Japa Thoughts VI
The prayers of a devotee will certainly be fulfilled when one’s appeal is sincere and favorable because God is the ultimate benefactor of the devotee. While chanting this morning, a desire came. “I want to be free again, free to give, without external impediment, all that I have to give to Srila Prabhupada’s mission.” I looked up at Giriraja and offered my desire spontaneously at His lotus feet.

Later in the morning, a parikrama party of one hundred devotees from Khazakstan came by, led by His Holiness B.B. Govinda Swami–a good friend who served together with me in Vrindaban in the late ’70s. He is a forceful person and powerful devotee, so when he asked me to meet his group in our ashram garden, I agreed. I even more reluctantly agreed when he asked me to speak about Govardhana. After I finished, he begged me to also accompany the party at least up to Govinda-kunda, and when we arrived, he asked me to speak once more. I was then invited to come to Khazakstan for a few weeks and Maharaja offered to pay for my ticket from New York. Hmm, I considered. Is this all Giriraja’s response to my humble entreaty?

• Uncategorized
• Comments Off on Govardhana Japa Thoughts IV Nothing

Dhanurdhara Swami November 8th, 2002

Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance Festival

Highlights:

I chanted in Srila Prabhupada’s samadhi until 10 in the morning, so I was late to the pandal (tent) where the program was being held. Still, I heard from quite a few speakers. His Holiness Radhanath Swami alone brought more than a thousand devotees, so a very large professional tent was arranged on the adjacent land to the temple since the Sri Sri Krishna-Balaram Mandir is much too small to accommodate so many.

Sripad Atul Krishna Goswami (a prominent brijbasi, madhva-sannyasi, and Bhagavat lecturer):

“Within the holy name are all 360 philosophies of Indian thought. To distribute the holy name is thus the panacea for all ills. Srila Prabhupada was the most munificent person because he ‘donated’ the holy name to the world.”

Sripad Bhakti Vaibhava Puri Maharaja (Srila Prabhupada’s Godbrother):

“The disciplic succession: There is Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, the six Gosvamis, then Srila Prabhupada!”

His Grace Bhurijana Prabhu:

“Brahmananda was reading the philosophy of various great Western philosophers to Srila Prabhupada. A few expressed somewhat profound theistic truths in line with our teachings, so Brahamanda asked Srila Prabhupada, ‘Were they devotees?’ Srila Prabhupada responded, ‘Their sincerity is their devotion.'”

Bhurijana Prabhu then reflected on what sincerity means for a committed disciple. “It is the complete acquiescence of one’s will to the desire of one’s guru. A sincere disciple acts only for the pleasure of his spiritual master, and does nothing independent of his pleasure.”

When Bhurijana was speaking, I thought about how sincere Srila Prabhupada was and how, by his example, he taught sincerity. I also thought about how many sincere devotees were attending the program, devotees who sacrificed everything for Srila Prabhupada’s mission. Bhurijana also humbly spoke on that:

“We are now enjoying so many nice facilities when we come to the dhama, but we should not forget that there was nothing here when Srila Prabhupada started his mission. It was all built on his sacrifice. Not just Srila Prabhupada, but his disciple’s sacrifice; they performed so much austerity in India, and lived in such severe conditions to develop Vrindaban, Mayapur, and Bombay.” Bhurijana then spontaneously mentioned a famous incident with Maithila devi-dasi, the pujari of Sri Sri Radha-Rasabihari. “When hired thugs tried to snatch our land by ripping down the first make-shift temple, she grabbed onto the railing to protect the Deities and just wouldn’t let go. She had to be dragged off by her hair by several attackers after a great struggle. How glorious the sacrifice of Srila Prabhupada’s followers!”

Sri P.L. Sethi (a very old Bombay Life Member, who must be in his 90s, and was an intimate supporter and friend of Srila Prabhupada, offering invaluable service in the development of Hare Krishna Land):

[P.L. Sethi spoke in Hindi and told many stories about his very close relationship with Srila Prabhupada and his dedication to Prabhupada’s mission. Here’s my favorite story, also about when Hare Krishna Land was attacked. His speech was translated and retold by Dina Bandhu Prabhu in his own words.]

“One Friday night, hordes of armed and dangerous thugs attacked Hare Krishna Land and ripped down our temporary temple. The devotees suspected Mr. Nair, the ruthless businessman who had sold the devotees the land, but was now trying to reclaim it by hook or by crook. The devotees were in trouble because they no longer had legal grounds to stay there. According to Indian Law, the place where a temple stands cannot be repossessed, and that was the crux of the devotees’ case. Since their hearing was on Monday, and it was the weekend, the temple could never be rebuilt, which was evidently the dubious Mr. Nair’s plan.”

In distress the devotees approached Mr. Sethi, an ardent follower of Srila Prabhupada, a well-wisher of his disciples, and a building contractor. Mr Sethi was an elderly and distinguished Raj Put (ksatriya, the noble kingly caste), a determined man of impeccable character who sported a handlebar mustache. To the surprise of the devotees, when he heard how they were attacked, Mr. Sethi vowed the impossible: “I will rebuild the temple in 48 hours!” The devotees warned him that the rogues were in cahoots with the local police and even threatened to attack again if they tried anything, but he turned and nonchalantly said to his son, “Brij, get my gun!” Then, he coolly sent his reply through the devotees: “Tell them the first man on our land is a dead man!”

For 48 hours, in constant pouring monsoon rain, out of deep love for Srila Prabhupada, Mr. Sethi fearlessly sat in front of the property, rifle in hand, to protect the land and to supervise his men who worked non-stop around the clock. The impossible was achieved; the temple was reconstructed in time and the situation was saved!

Gargamuni Prabhu (one of the very first disciples of Srila Prabhupada who joined at 26 2nd Avenue and is now retired in Vrindaban):

I was amused by Gargamuni’s offering, but it also deepened my appreciation for Srila Prabhupada for, as Gargamuni said about himself, “By the mercy of Srila Prabhupada, even I am residing in Vrindaban.”

Gargamuni is six feet or more and must be nearly 300 pounds. He always dresses the same, in that Indian hippy look: the cheap cotton pajamas, colored T-shirt, thin cloth vest, long hair, beard, and dark sunglasses. When he was asked to give his offering, rather than sit on the Vyasasana on the stage as the
other speakers had done, he chose to pace back and forth with the microphone in his hand. He spoke nicely and with fervor about three words used by Srila Prabhupada at the end of his letters–“Your ever well-wisher”–to expand on the theme of Srila Prabhupada’s mercy. Often he would almost break down in tears. His whole appearance and manner, however–the way he held the mic and passionately paced the stage, combined with his slight accusatory tone–almost reminded me of an interview with one of those professional wrestlers. One line in particular stuck out in reference to the criticism he gets for apparently pirating the BBT and BBT archive material: “Many people would like to see me shipwrecked off an island of Fiji, but Srila Prabhupada was my ever well-wisher!”

Many cultured Indians from Bombay were in the audience, and I wondered what they thought of the spectacle: Srila Prabhupada’s seniormost disciple dressed like a hippy and pacing across the stage.

My conclusion was that, despite his look and demeanor,everyone saw beyond the exterior to see exactly what I saw–an ISKCON icon with deep love for Srila Prabhupada, and living proof of Srila Prabhupada’s causeless mercy.

• Uncategorized
• Comments Off on Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance Festival Highlights:

Dhanurdhara Swami November 5th, 2002

Govardhana-puja
Govardhana

I tried to take benefit of being in Govardhana on Govardhana-puja by circumambulating Govardhana Hill. The visiting devotees would start coming to our ashram by 7 o’clock, so I divided my parikrama in two parts–the first half, the Aniyor side, which I would go around early morning so I could return in time, and the second half, the Radha-kunda side, which I would circle late afternoon after the feast so I could return for the Damodarastakam.

Festive, uplifting, walking among the throngs of singing brijabasis on Govardhana-puja day!

The temple program: His Holiness Bhakti Caru Swami, His Grace Gopiparanadhana Prabhu, and Kesava Bharati Prabhu spoke, followed by go-puja (worship of the cows) in the front garden, annukuta (a mountain of bhoga across from the ashram at the foot of Govardhana Hill), and finally, a sumptuous feast.

Highlight: Loving the devotees, living the pastime.

Our ashram rests exactly on the parikrama path of Govardhana Hill where thousands upon thousands of pilgrims stream by on major festivals, especially Govardhana-puja. It is an excellent location to serve them. Gaura Narayana Prabhu, the temple president of our Bhaktivedanta Ashram, asked if I would like to help distribute prasadam to the pilgrims, since it was sponsored by my disciples in America. There are many uplifting devotional programs here today and I wasn’t expecting the prasadam distribution to be the most inspirational for me, but it was. Perhaps it’s because of the inherent mood of this activity–loving reciprocation with the devotees, especially the brijabasis–that brought the pastime of Govardhana-puja alive. The pilgrims, practically all devotees, mobbed our booth to get one of the thousands of Giriraja laddus prepared last night by our devotees. They were respectful, however, and not wild. And by their gestures–a nod, a smile, a slight bow at the waist or head–they acknowledged their appreciation. Several sadhus even spontaneously hugged me. For hours we happily distributed our mountain of sweets as fast as we could to the outreached hands of the happy pilgrims circumambulating Govardhana Hill, just as their forefathers did at the time of Lord Krishna:

“The honest and simple cowherd men, headed by Nanda Maharaja, accepted Krishna’s proposal and executed in detail everything He advised. They performed Govardhana worship and circumambulation of the hill. [Following the inauguration of Govardhana-puja, people in Vrindaban still dress nicely and assemble near Govardhana Hill to offer worship and circumambulate the hill, leading their cows all around.]” –Krishna Book, Chapter 24.

Highlight II: The secret of avoiding and overcoming Vaishnava aparadha.

After the feast I spoke with Dr. Fakir Mohan, an elderly unassuming Vaishnava scholar from Oriya. Last year we went on Govardhana parikrama together and I noticed that he was fervently chanting a simple bhajan. I asked him to translate what he was singing. The song, Sri Vaisnava-Vandana, by Devakinandana dasa, offers respect with limitless enthusiasm to all Vaishnavas–systematically beginning with the devotees of Vrindaban, then Mahaprabhu’s associates in Puri, next the devotees of Navadvipa, and after that, the Vaishnavas anywhere in Bengal. I especially liked some of its concluding lines:

“With upraised arms I pray to the feet of all of Gauranga’s bhaktas, in whichever country they may reside!”

“Holding a straw between my teeth, I submit at the feet of all the servants of Mahaprabhu that were in the past and will be in the future!”

Today when I discussed this song with Fakir Mohan Prabhu, he revealed an important and somewhat startling detail of the song’s history. Devakinananda dasa, its author, was the initiated name of Gopala Capala, mentioned in Sri Caitanya-Caritamrita as the envious person who offended Srivasa Thakur and then suffered from leprosy. What I discovered today is that he later repented, took initiation from one of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s direct associates, and became a great Vaishnava known for his unbounded appreciation of the devotees–a veneration resulting in this song, Sri Vaisnava-Vandana.

I’d recently begun to chant this song daily, and this seemed to deepen my respect for the devotees. When I shared this with Fakir Mohan Prabhu, he revealed with conviction the mahima (glories) of this song:

“Anyone who sincerely chants Sri Vaisnava-Vandana by Devakinandana dasa will be protected from Vaishnava aparadha (offense to the devotees), and like Gopala Capala, will also be relieved of any offense already committed at the lotus feet of the Vaishnavas!”

I circumambulated Govardhana Hill, served the brijabasis, and fully honored this auspicious day, but the fruit of my worship was this simple insight of worshiping the devotees.

• Uncategorized
• Comments Off on Govardhana-puja Govardhana I tried to

Dhanurdhara Swami October 30th, 2002

Govardhana

Vrindaban Mysteries II

Full parikrama today.

Highlights:
The old Narasimha temple: I’ve gone on Govardhana-parikrama many times, but I’ve never visited the old temple of Narasimha on the far side of Apsara-kunda. This surprises me because it is a substantial temple, like a small fort on a hill, with a winding brick road twisting up to the entrance leading to a courtyard with one of the best views of Govardhana Hill. The temple is run by a very old saintly pujari, at least in his 80s, and presumably unmarried (he lives there alone). Not many people come here, so he must have a very solitary life, although he seems quite satisfied. To take up the life of a pujari in a remote temple with few, if any, visiting pilgrims, is sort of a declaration that material life is finished. Such a resolve is tempting, attractive. I’ve thought about it, but I am too restless.

At the Narasimha temple, I had what I call an internal potency experience. Not that I experienced an infusion of devotional ecstasy, the real internal potency experience, but it’s what I call such an experience for lack of a better word for it. My “internal potency” experiences happen occasionally on parikrama. It goes like this:

You enter a sacred place, a temple, or a lila-sthan (a place of the Lord’s pastimes) without a particular plan to do so–often by just seeing a temple or on the unplanned invitation of a friend who has been there before. You enter the place and begin chanting and reading and also relating with the residents there. From the moment you enter, you lose sight of time and make no plans on what to do. You follow what is dictated by circumstance and become absorbed in the devotional atmosphere and activities. Although there is no sense of schedule, at a particular time you leave, also without a plan. You feel elated and uplifted, but shortly after leaving, you again gain orientation on your timetable for the day, including the anxiety of attempting to control one’s life independent of God’s will. You reflect in contrast to the moments before when there was no sense of time, just absorption in the internal potency. Finally you realize just how much most of one’s life is dictated, sometimes very subtly, according to one’s ego, the desire to enjoy and control, and not by the direction of the intelligence or the Lord in the heart.

Omen at Rasa-sthali: Walking north on the parikrama path from the Narasimha temple I honor the rock candy given by the Narasimha pujari. To wash our hands, Vaiseseka Prabhu and I turn into the Rasa-sthali forest area (the place of Radha-Krishna’s spring rasa dance) where there is a water tap on the outside wall of the fortress-like temple compound. Before leaving, Vaiseseka Prabhu looks above the tap on the wall to decipher a saying written in Hindi. All of thesudden, I see an unusual furry ball whiz above his head. It happened so fast I thought that someone had thrown something, but it’s alive. A bird crashes against the wall, falls to the ground, quivers for a moment, and stops. It’s dead!

Eerie! I can’t help but think what all this means. Is it as simple as a random bird’s death? And if it is, then why did this happen right as we entered the solitary forest? Is there something more to this omen? We continue our walk. Vaiseseka gets the message we need to hear, regardless of what this unusual incident is meant to envisage for us. “Just see how flickering this world is!”

We continue walking north through monkey-land on the west side of Govardhana. In the distance a monkey holds her limp young chimp–another unusual sight. She puts her baby down. It’s dead! Whew! I have never seen even one death in countless parikramas, but now two in five minutes. Strange! What does this mean?

Vaiseseka spontaneously quotes in Sanskrit from the Bhagavatam, and then translates: “Four things give us evidence of the flickering nature of this world: hearing, direct experience, inference, and traditional wisdom.”

Today we are learning of the temporal nature of this world by direct experience. But are we actually learning? A little more than a year ago I was in lower Manhattan when the World Trade Center collapsed. If a whole city didn’t get the message of this “flickering world,” and I didn’t get the message, then what will I learn now from a kamikaze bird at Rasa-sthali?

He quotes again: “There is one thing to forget and two things to remember. Forget what you have done for others. Remember what others have done for you. And remember death!”

Prema-pujari: Further down on the western side of Govardhana Hill, just before Radha-kunda, we briefly pay our respects to Uddhava Bihari, the place where Uddhava, overwhelmed by the standard of prema (love of Godhead) of the residents of Vrindaban–especially the gopis–prays to be a lump of grass in Vrindaban so the dust of the gopis would grace his head. Sitting before the Deities is the humble pujari who has been serving Uddhava Biharaji for over 50 years. There hasn’t been a time yet on parikrama where I haven’t met our friendly pujari, sitting in the same place, peacefully serving out caranmrita (the water which has bathed Uddhava Bihari). I greet him warmly, as I always do. He smiles, hugs me, and then embraces Vaiseseka. I ask for a blessing. As I bend at the waist, he places his two hands with extended palms over my head rocking back and forth in a gesture of blessings. As his hands gently pat my shoulders, he speaks sweetly and repeatedly in broken English, with perhaps the only words he knows:

“Happy! Happy!”

Vaiseseka admires the simplicity and purity of the pujari’s blessings, and smiling in heartfelt appreciation, says, “What a nice thing to say!”

Brisk pace: Vaiseseka Prabhu, my companion today, has set a blistering four-hour pace. I have to trot occasionally to keep up with his long powerful strides, but I follow, and it goes surprisingly well. We left at 5:15 AM, stopped at the Narasimha Temple by Apsara-kunda, briefly visited Uddhava Bihari, bathed in Radha-kunda, had kirtan at Harideva, and we’ve still returned by 10 AM. A great start to the day.

• Uncategorized
• Comments Off on Govardhana Vrindaban Mysteries II Full

Dhanurdhara Swami October 27th, 2002

Govardhan

Vrindaban Mysteries I

When Ravindra Svarupa Prabhu was here two years ago he commented with a twist of irony, “We need a group of devotees who do nothing!” I surmise he was appreciating the idea that, in order to give spiritual strength and credibility to ISKCON, devotees are needed to focus exclusively on their spiritual practices–at least for some time of the year. That’s what’s happening here.

Of course, sadhana-bhakti can be hard work, but it is internal work. Because not much happens externally while chanting, and because what happens internally is not always relevant for the public, I became concerned over whether or not I could make the journal enlivening for the devotees this month–or whether or not it should continue during Kartik. Subtly, I think I wished for some action.

I was in Vrindaban this morning in order to, among other things, meet a friend who was coming in for only one day. This would quite possibly be my only trip outside of Govardhan this month. When I arrived at my friend’s house, I was informed that he was delayed for several hours. I thus walked over to the temple to wait and chant at Srila Prabhupada’s samadhi. As I was approaching the temple gate Indradyumna Swami, who was also in Vrindaban only for the day, was mounting a bicycle rikshaw with his servant. I greeted him and he excitedly responded:

“I just found out that it’s the disappearance of Narottama dasa Thakur! We’re going to the Brij Mohan Mandir to see his original deities from Kheturi. Please come.”

He then explained a little bit about those deities:

“After Lord Caitanya left this world, Srila Narottama dasa Thakur organized the original Gaura Purnima festival at Kheturi in West Bengal. His aim was to solidify Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s mission. With this in mind, he made several sets of deities to distribute to various centers of Gaudiya Vaishnavism around India. After the Kheturi festival, Narottama dasa sent Sri Sri Radha-Brij Mohan along with Their paraphernalia by boat to a Gaudiya Vaishnava from Vrindaban who had agreed to worship Them and had perhaps even attended the Kheturi festival.”

I won’t elaborate on today’s adventure in depth since Indradyumna Swami will most likely describe the day in detail in his own journal, but I will relate something about our interesting and fateful visit to Sri Sri Radha-Brij Mohan.

I immediately agreed to Maharaja’s offer and left with him and three of his disciples. Brij Mohan is on the far side of Vrindaban past the famous South Indian Rangaji Mandir. It’s the quiet, old, and relatively clean Vrindaban; not the more modern and touristy Vrindaban that has built up around our temple. I haven’t been there in a while and I forgot how nice it was.

Brij Mohan is a small, quaint temple with an open courtyard, renovated with funds from Indradyumna Swami. It is managed by a cultured and pure-hearted young pujari and a small congregation of simple and pious Bengali Vaishnavas. Our program was also quite simple: darshan (seeing the Deities), kirtan (je anilo prema dhana), reading from Narottama dasa Thakur’s “Prema-Bhakti Candrika,” and short comments on its verses from Maharaja and myself.

In the middle of our readings Indradyumna Swami asked the pujari if he could show me the plate of Govardhan and Salagram silas (sacred stones) worshiped by Narottama dasa Thakur. This led the pujari to take Maharaja on a tour of the temple compound.

The Govardhan silas were not like any I have ever seen. They were so shiny that even Maharaja was sure that they had been waxed. They weren’t. It was just the effect of being massaged with high quality oil and bathed with scented water daily for over 500 years!

I sat in the courtyard chanting, and after some time, I went to search for Maharaja and the pujari. I found Maharaja with his disciple Douji Krishna (the 16 year-old daughter of my Godsister Daivi-Sakti) and the pujari all sitting in a small empty room to the left of the altar. The pujari was kneeling and holding the plate of silas in front of Maharaja. Maharaja was sitting in front of him looking at the plate tilted toward him. Douji Krishna sat between the pujari and Maharaja, translating their discussion. By the time I got there, Maharaja had evidently asked for one of Narottama’s silas and the pujari had agreed! Now, Maharaja was facing the fortunate dilemma of choosing which one to take. Maharaja just couldn’t decide and after asking for our opinions, narrowed his choice to two. Finally, he asked for both! Surprisingly, the humble pujari was quite accommodating and smiled in agreement by jerking his head slightly to the left. Maharaja took two small matching silas, each about one-inch square, to be his own main Deities. They will be worshiped as Sri Sri Radha-Brij Mohan.

I had a subtle desire this morning to have some drama to write about. It was a wonderful morning at the lotus feet of Sri Sri Radha-Brij Mohan, the Deities of Narottama dasa Thakur, on the auspicious day of his disappearance.

After leaving Sri Sri Brij Mohan Mandir, I quickly returned to Govardhan, where I looked forward to another day of chanting and reading in my room. Giriraja fulfills all desires.

• Uncategorized
• Comments Off on Govardhan Vrindaban Mysteries I When

Dhanurdhara Swami October 25th, 2002

Govardhana

Japa Thoughts III

Bhurijana Prabhu once described to me how living in Vrindaban is like having a mirror placed before your false ego (the pretense of thinking oneself other than a servant of God). How true!

This morning I was able to see myself, almost as if I was abstracted from myself, and watched as an observer. How foolish! I wanted to hide.

I also felt a slight sense of relief. It’s painful for the tiny soul to understand its charade as a big something, but liberating to realize that, in truth, we are utterly dependent on God. And our dependence allows us to experience His love as mercy flows toward those in need.

This dependent mood also invokes bhakti since there is no greater stimulus for love of God than His mercy. Humility is also the foundation of happiness because
bhakti, or love, is pleasure.

The humble position, which evokes God’s mercy, induces devotion, and inspires love (which is the source of pleasure), is therefore the only state of mind for an
enduring chanter.

“One should chant the holy name of the Lord in a humble state of mind, thinking oneself lower than the straw in the street, more tolerant than the tree, devoid of all sense of false prestige, and ready to offer all respects to others. In such a state of mind one can chant constantly.”

When God is merciful, he lets us see our folly. Hare Krishna.

• Uncategorized
• Comments Off on Govardhana Japa Thoughts III Bhurijana

Dhanurdhara Swami October 23rd, 2002

Govardhana

Vows

By fate I have been given an opportunity to concentrate on chanting and hearing without other responsibilities or distractions. In fact, most of the year, even while in America, I have few duties others than chanting, reading, and preaching. It’s a nice life. Still, I am hoping that the purification will qualify me to increase my contribution to Srila Prabhupada’s mission.

I am questioning how much I should write about my life here in Kartik. Since the purpose of making vows to intensify one’s spiritual practices is to advance one’s bhakti, or devotion, one should avoid advertising those vows if possible, since adoration and praise may come. Devotion can only arise from activities done in devotion, so creating a motive for one’s spiritual practices, such as prestige, can certainly ruin the spirit of one’s practices and the result as well. Vows should thus be performed solely for the pleasure of Krishna. And naturally, if we keep them to ourselves, it is much more likely that they can be done purely.

The world is set up by God to encourage sacrifice. Austerities are automatically rewarded by higher natural law. If we gain prestige by our austerities, then that may be all we are rewarded for our sacrifice, rather than the desired spiritual benefit.

Today at breakfast a devotee mentioned to another devotee that he was chanting 64 rounds. A visiting sadhu turned to me and said, “He is very compassionate, for if you tell someone your vow, they will get half the benefit and you will also only get half.”

I am reading an interesting book given to me as a gift last month about a Christian monk in the Fifth Century who outlined an arduous step-by-step process for attaining divine love. In this book, he describes the interesting phenomena of seemingly renounced spiritualists who, after renouncing the world to join the desert monks, gave up those virtues, revealing that their so-called spiritual qualities had actually been motivated by the adoration of the public. He
describes this as follows:

“We should investigate why those who have lived in the world and endured nightlong vigils, fasting, labors, and suffering, and then have withdrawn from their fellow men to monastic life, as of to a place of trail or an arena, no longer practice the fake and spurious asceticism. I have seen many different virtues planted by them in the world, watered by vanity as if by an underground cesspool, made to shoot up by love of show, manured by praise, and yet quickly withered when transplanted to desert soil, to where the world did not walk–that is, to where they were not manured with the foul-smelling water of vanity. The things that grow in water cannot bear fruit in dry and arid places.” (The Ladder of Divine Descent, p.82)

Of course, the purpose of his statement was not to encourage a renounced life, nor to imply that those who serve God actively are motivated, but to emphasize an important spiritual message relevant to all of us: Spiritual practices should be done for God’s pleasure.

Never seek (and even avoid) situations where your devotional service is praised.

Note: This doesn’t discount the fact that devotional service needs to be encouraged, especially at the beginning of one’s spiritual life. One time, in gurukula, a teacher complained to Srila Prabhupada that one boy was proud of excelling in Sanskrit. Srila Prabhupada responded, “He should be proud!”

• Uncategorized
• Comments Off on Govardhana Vows By fate I

Dhanurdhara Swami October 22nd, 2002

October 20, 2002
Govardhana

Note: I will try to write regularly from Govardhan, but I will not be able to make daily journal entries due to my other responsibilities for Kartik.

Japa Thoughts I

Indradyumna Swami invited me to come to his room every morning before mangala-arati to chant japa before his deities. I prefer to chant alone, but I took up his offer to get sadhu-sanga. Vaiseseka Prabhu, a saintly godbrother, was also invited. Like Maharaja, he is very much an all-American sadhu–pious, strong,
handsome, tall (three inches more than Maharaja), with a seemingly unbounded energy for devotional activities. I was happily dwarfed in their presence. With concentration, vigor, and devotion, they chanted. I was surprised how much that helped my own focus. Maharaja’s room is small and has three-foot thick walls. Inside one gets the distinct impression that the world outside cannot enter and the vibrations inside cannot leave. I felt as if the holy name was condensing and pressurizing the atmosphere within those walls, suffocating any distractions to the holy name. It’s not that I let my mind wander, but I felt relaxed, as if there was nothing else to wander to but the holy name.

Recommendation: Create a sacred space for chanting where externally the mind can only wander to Krishna, preferably in the association of spiritually enlivened devotees. Enhance that atmosphere, if necessary, with the sound of pure devotees chanting, like Srila Prabhupada’s japa tape.

Japa Thoughts II

I started chanting very carefully and slowly. I was hearing nicely, but was surprised that I barely chanted four rounds in a half hour. By the end of my japa period, I noticed I was chanting nearly 6 rounds an hour and was hearing even better, but with less effort. I noticed that when I began I was very concentrated, in somewhat of a yogic way, on my dhrti, or determination, subduing the mind by the force of the will. At the end, however, I noticed I was more concentrated on the heart, my attitude, and my mood. My simple realization is that although it is important to take to chanting as a discipline, it is just as important to be cultivate and be conscious of the mood in which one is chanting–especially humility.

This realization was later confirmed today in my reading of Brhad-Bhagavatamrta. In order to highlight the glories of the Pandavas and how the Supreme Lord reciprocated with them in a very personal manner because of their spontaneous devotion, Narada Muni briefly describes, in contrast, the mechanical way in which Brahma and other demigods petitioned the Lord from the shore of the milk ocean. Despite strict vows, restricted eating, and stringent withdrawal of all external functions, the Lord did not answer the prayers of the demigods in person as he did the Pandavas. He spoke to them only through the heart of Brahma, which he heard only as voice from the sky.

The moral of the story is summarized nicely in the commentary, quite akin to my realization this morning:

“From this experience, recorded in the Tenth Canto, first chapter, of Srimad Bhagavatam, the demigods learned that mechanical meditation is not an effective means for achieving personal association with the Supreme Lord.” (B.B. 5.10, commentary)

• Uncategorized
• Comments Off on October 20, 2002 Govardhana Note: