Kartik vrata begins: Japa Thoughts

October 29th, 2010

October 23, 2010
Sri Govardhana

Kartik vrata begins:

Japa Thought I:

The mantra is my heart, a call for service.
The mantra is my Lord, the object of service.
The mantra is my prayer, a longing for Krishna.
The mantra is Krishna, the aim of yearning.
The mantra as the means,
The mantra as the end,
Either way I humbly pray for service

Japa Thought II:

Chant and feel Krishna in the form of sound
To feel for Krishna is the awakening of the soul
Chanting, feeling and searching for Krishna
Chanting, feeling and searching for oneself
All in the holy names

Japa Thought III:

What is feeling the mantra? You can think of something or you can feel something. When you think of something there is more a tendency to project your own frame of reference and skew the experience of the object. Feeling the mantra is thus trying to experience the mantra without projecting your conditioned conception on it. Of course, cognition is there in any experience. Feeling the mantra, however, is consciously trying the let the mantra impact us without the limits of interpretation. It is mindfully tasting the name.

Thoughts On Entering Vrindavana

October 26th, 2010

October 14, 2010
Sri Vrindavana

Thoughts on entering Vrindavana:

As a man dying of thirst in the desert finds an oasis, as a man with an apparently incurable disease finds the cure… Viswanath Cakravarti describes the feelings of a conditioned soul awakening in Goloka Vrindavana after achieving perfection. Maybe not like that, but I certainly feel relief – great relief – to be in the land of Vraja.

Vrindavana is my home. On entering the cul-de-sac to my Vrindavana place, I see Balaram Baba. He greets me affectionately and insists I immediately take prasadam. I have lived here more than half of my life – that's more than any other place. So many friends, so many affectionate greetings, and so many people who love Krishna are here.

I expected to find Vrindavana covered by urban sprawl and all else that Kali offers. Today I don't see it. I see loving souls and the spirit of devotion. I roll in the dust. I bathe in the Yamuna.

I honor Aindra Prabhu. Twice a day I attend the 24 hour kirtan. I miss him, but his spirit is there in those determined to take up his mission. Some beautiful kirtans continue by his grace.

I vow that while in Vrindavana I will just take food when it comes by Krishna's mercy. Today I am invited for the incomparable maha prasadam from the raja bhoga cooked by Bhuvanesvara. Heavenly figs unexpectedly arrive sent from my friends in Croatia. And then there is a late afternoon invitation to join Indradyumna Swami for his Radha Govinda maha prasadam when he returns from Govardhana parikrama. Wow! Homemade ice cream. Milk sent from the goshalla. So much prasadam. I am forced to honor, not gorge. “No one starves in my village,” Gopal tells Madhavendra Puri at Govinda Kunda. I believe it.

A good welcome this time. I call it happy mercy, but all mercy, whether happy or not, is mercy; it pulls us back to the lotus feet of Krishna. Late morning I walked the parikrama path to the Radha Damodar Temple to pray and chant at Their renowned courtyard of sacred tombs (samadhis). At Sri Jiva's, a sadhu points with a wagging finger of warning at my glasses. My heart drops. I grab them in relief and tuck them away, admonishing myself, “How could I forget to put my glasses away in the very place where monkeys prey on foolish pilgrims in their bananas for glasses scam?” I reflect on my fortune, “How was it possible that I walked the most notorious section of monkey land in Vrindavana with my glasses still intact. Unprecedented!” An unusually good welcome. Happy mercy!

Yoga Made Easy by Music: How Kirtan Works

October 14th, 2010

(Kirtan refers to devotional singing, but it also refers to the recitation of spiritual poetry and drama or even just speaking about spiritual subjects. In the school of Śrī Caitanya, when devotional singing is done in a group with musical accompaniment it is specifically called sankirtan; the prefix “san” comes from samyak, which means “complete”. It is called sankirtan, or complete, as the group experience of kirtan is more absorbing and moving than the individual one. For the purpose of distinguishing group from individual kirtan, when I refer to devotional singing and music in a congregation I will use the word “sankirtan”, although it is commonly known as just kirtan.)

I was happy to read that “sankirtan (chanting with others) is superior even to kirtan (chanting alone) because it produces such extraordinary feelings”.[1] That has always been my conviction, but here was a declarative statement by Śrī Jiva Gosvāmī, one of the greatest Vaiṣṇava scholars in his classic work Śrī Bhakti Sandarbha.

Although I was happy to find a supportive statement for the magnificence of sankirtan, the question still remained, why? Why does sankirtan produce such extraordinary feelings? Luckily the answer came soon. While thumbing casually through a book containing the personal correspondence of my spiritual master, Śrīla Prabhupāda, I chanced upon the following statement:

“The hearing tendency is made easy and still more favorable by songs and music of spiritual value to be equally shared by all classes of men namely the highest educated and the lowest illiterate.” [2]

The answer was simple and clear: “hearing made easy by music!” The test of any meditational practice is its ability to facilitate focus on the object of one’s mediation, usually a mantra that is heard. As proper melody and rhythm spontaneously allure the mind, mantra couched in music naturally makes mantra meditation easier. And as the focus in sankirtan is the very object of the practitioner’s devotion (the divine names of God), extraordinary feelings, such as devotion and joy, naturally arise as one’s meditation deepens. Continue Reading »

Kirtan Retreat with Sacinandana Swami

September 4th, 2010

Kirtan Retreat with Sacinandana Swami
Island of Iz, Croatia
June 12-18, 2010

A friend once told me that a good class is where you learn at least one new thing. I learned many things at the kirtan retreat. Each class of Sacinandana Swami filled my book with notes. In the next few days I'll share them with you.

 

Day 1

Entering a retreat means to enter a new atmosphere, a new mode of thinking, for the purpose of change or transformation. “Kirtan Retreat” means how to connect to God, the power who can really transform us.

Attending a retreat is not just a matter of going through the programs. It entails a change in intention, as only according to our intention do we act. Intention is so important it even determines life and death. For example, in a serious life and death health crisis, our intention, our will to live, determines whether we do or not. So if you want to have a successful retreat, if you want to ensure the best use of your time here, you must first create a serious intention to be transformed. A sankalpa is necessary, an expressed intention of what you hope to achieve.

When we come to a retreat we may feel an initial discomfort. That's because we come not alone, but with our old life, a life that must be changed, which means creating space in the mind for something new to happen. It may make us initially uneasy, but it is exciting and important work.

Common maxim: if you think of the same things and do the same things, you will get the same result. Retreat is to move from that place and get different, better results. Accept your limitations, but take this opportunity to get the empowerment to go beyond your limitations. If you take this opportunity, you will bear the fruit of this opportunity.

 

Continue Reading »

Srila Prabhupada’s Vyasa Puja

September 2nd, 2010

Dear Srila Prabhupada,

Please accept my humble obeisances. All glories to you!

A god-brother shared with me a personal realization, fully aware of the irony: “After studying the sastra deeply for over forty years, I have come to the realization that the essence of spiritual life is to fully surrender to the spiritual master.” I chuckled. It seemed like my life as a devotee. How do we miss the simple points you stressed again and again? But it also strongly highlighted one of my strongest appreciations over the last few years of you as a spiritual teacher:

You are expert at stressing and teaching those points that are most essential.

It also brought to my mind the things you emphasized that I am just beginning to realize after my own forty years of study:

Closeness or distance from you is not a matter of personal association or even what generation we are. It is simply our humility and mood of service that reveals who you are.

The foundational moods of devotion like humility, gratitude, and fixedness in guru are the mood and shape of love of Godhead that we can most readily access and express now.

Without being fully dependent on the mercy of Sri Guru there is no hope to advance in spiritual life.

My studies have also have reaffirmed your expertise as a teacher:

Although advanced in studies, you can explain even the deepest concepts to those who are not.

You're an authority in the subject you teach – never off the mark.

In the second verse of the Bhagavatam, we are told that one who hears the Bhagavatam just once arrests Krishna in his heart! I ask, “Why doesn't that ever happen to me? I've heard the text hundreds of times.” I know the answer. I haven't accepted its simple message – that Krishna is the most worthy object of devotion and my duty is simply to surrender to and serve Him. By hearing it again and again from you, however, I am getting closer to the goal.

What greater treasure than to have the lotus feet of Krishna in one's heart, by your grace? Thank you. Thank you.

Your unworthy disciple,
Dhanurdhara Swami

In Memory of Sripad Aindra Prabhu

July 21st, 2010

In Memory of Sripad Aindra Prabhu

(The following is an interview with Sripad Aindra dasa done last year for the forthcoming book  Kirtan Meditations The Mood and Technique of Bhakti Kirtan compiled by Dhanurdhara Swami and Akincana Krishna dasa.  Due to the unexpected loss of this great soul I decided to release his interview quite before the editing has been finished. I hope it gives some pleasure and solace to the congregation of the devotees feeling the loss of this great soul.)

AINDRA DASA

Doing kirtan for Srila Prabhupada

When Srila Prabhupada came to Washington in 1976, we would all briefly stop at his quarters before going to the temple to greet the Deities. One morning, somehow or other, the mrdanga was pushed into my hands and I was told to lead the kirtan. I guess there was nobody else to do it so I was trying to play as best as I could in a very simple way.  I was walking right by Srila Prabhupada's side when he suddenly turns to me, lifts his head in his typical, regal way, and says with a very positive glance of approval “Jaya!” And that's the only word he said to me in my whole Krishna conscious life.

But that one word carried so much inspiration and potency.  How did I get a “jaya!” out of Srila Prabhupada? It was simple–I was performing harinam sankirtan. I thus thought “why not continue to perform harinam-sankirtan, as at the least that simple service got a ‘jaya!’ out of Srila Prabhupada.” And that's been my whole idea ever since.

Chanting with purity

Harinam-sankirtan means to loudly chant the holy name for the benefit of othersWe should seriously consider to what extent we are benefiting others, and also to what extent we are benefiting ourselves. There is apparent kirtan and real kirtan. Only sankirtan where the pure name is chanted is real sankirtan.  If someone is making offenses to the name, simply articulating the syllables “Hare Krishna,” that is not real sankirtan.  One must thus carefully consider the offenses to be avoided in the matter of chanting.

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Does a fallen soul have to be depressed?

June 30th, 2010

June 30, 2010

Does a fallen soul have to be depressed?

A saintly soul prays in the mood of dhainya, utter humility:

“For my own pleasure I never fear to commit any sin. I am devoid of pity and full of selfishness; I’m sorry at others’ happiness and am an inveterate liar. Indeed, I take delight in others’ miseries.” Amara Jivana – Bhaktivinoda Thakur

If the great devotees feel like this, shouldn’t the actually fallen practitioner of bhakti feel depressed and ridden with guilt?

Remorse is certainly healthy, but does the sincere and weak need to feel shame? I don’t think so. I found a reference to support this.

“Having awakened faith in the narrations of My glories, being disgusted with all material activities, knowing that all sense gratification leads to misery, but still being unable to renounce all sense enjoyment, My devotee should remain happy and worship Me with great faith and conviction. Even though he is sometimes engaged in sense enjoyment, My devotee knows that all sense gratification leads to a miserable result, and he sincerely repents such activities.” [emphasis mine] (Bhag. 11.20.27-28)

I like the balance. We do need to be humble and repent if we cannot maintain our practices. We shouldn’t, however, embrace the type of shame and excess guilt that is depressive and lowers self esteem, that makes the adoption of spiritual life miserable and debilitating.

 

The Passing of Rasajna devi dasi

December 29th, 2009

December 29, 2009
Sri Vrindavana

This morning I got the news that my dear god-sister, Her Grace Rasajna devi dasi, passed away from this world. I will miss her dearly. I can't remember where I heard the saying, but it goes something like, “One will be remembered more for how one made others feel than for what one has accomplished.” I think of Rasa in this way. It's not that she didn't have significant accomplishments, but whatever she accomplished is overshadowed by the simple fact that there was just nothing bad in her heart. I can't say that about many; I certainly can't say that about myself. I can say that, however, about her. It is rare to know such a person. I feel grateful that I did.

She was a regular listener on my sanga classes twice a week and her contributions were always thoughtful. I learned a lot from them. She was always on the side of compassion over law, essence over form, but all couched in unflinching faith in the words of Srila Prabhupada over every thing else. And because of that unswerving faith and because of her pure heart, there is no doubt about her eternal destination at the lotus feet of Srila Prabhupada.

I just wrote Ekacakra yesterday that I would be visiting Austin as soon as I came from India so that I might see Rasa before she left. Today he wrote me that she left. I feel sad that I won't see her again, but relieved that her Lordships took Rasa quickly to be with Them and to free her from any more pain.

I need to thank you, Rasa, for giving your love, example, and intimate friendship to so many of my students and friends. It is a very significant and prominent part of their spiritual lives. I am indebted to you for that.

Thank you for your desire to hear about Krishna and thus engaging me in talking about Him. The most important sign of spiritual advancement is the desire to hear about Krishna. You were thus a very elevated soul that will be missed dearly by all.

Thank you for your encouragement and support in my own devotional service from the thoughtful birthday cards to the kind donations. We all need to be encouraged in devotional service, especially from those senior and more elevated than us. I pray that I may follow your example of empowerment, kindness, and reciprocation.

I am writing this early in the morning in Sri Vrindavana on the day after she left. When I finish this I will chant for several hours and pray that whatever little benefit comes from my chanting here this morning in Sri Vrindavana Dhama will be transferred to her soul. I realize, however, that I am probably doing this more for myself. I have little doubt that she has already achieved what I am only aspiring for, the lotus feet of Sri Sri Radha-Shyamasundara.

 

Govardhana Retreat Part 2

November 20th, 2009

This is the second part of my lecture notes from the VIHE Govardhana Retreat this year.

November 20, 2009
Sri Govardhana

Lecture 2: The Mystical Keys for Entering the Presence of the Divine Couple by Srila Sacinandana Swami *

“How to love Krishna? It starts with giving attention. It is called mindfulness.”

“Our mind gets colored by our thoughts. Our thoughts should thus be of the quality of ultimate benefit (sreyas). Instead we think constantly of a thousand small things that are only immediate needs (preyas). The method of developing a mind of ultimate thoughts is to hear and meditate on the Lord's associates – for their thoughts are focused on the highest considerations.”

Continue Reading »

Govardhana Retreat

November 17th, 2009

Although I am not writing my journal as regularly as before, but rather concentrating on articles and books, occasionally I will continue to send journal entries. I hope you enjoy them!

 

November 17, 2009
Sri Govardhana

 

Every year I have the opportunity to attend the Govardhana Retreat led by Sriman Bhurijan dasa and Srila Sacinanandana Swami. It is a pleasure to sit with a peaceful mind, free from other responsibilities, to just hear the realizations of accomplished practitioners. Here are some of my notes. First from Bhurijan Prabhu:

Lecture 1: The Path and Empowerment of Sri Rupa by Bhurijana dasa*

Bhurijana (BJD) discusses Sri Caitanya's pilgrimage to South India. He comments on the benefits of walking to the places of pilgrimages in India as Sri Caityana did:

“Today when we come to a holy place we usually come very much in the mode of passion by airplane. Our mind thus generally arrives days after us. Saints like Sri Caitanya, however, walked peacefully to the holy places, mindfully anticipating their destination. In contrast to us, their mind would arrive days before.”

Continue Reading »