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New York City Getting good

August 14th, 2001

New York City

Getting good feedback for the Humility Meditations. Here’s one that came yesterday from Jaya Gaurasundara Prabhu:

“Pride, like humility, is destroyed by one’s insistence that he possesses it.”

New Ekachakra Dham Another interesting

August 5th, 2001

New Ekachakra Dham

Another interesting day planned on the retreat.

In the morning Mahatma Prabhu spoke on “dying in ecstasy,” the storyof the passing away of Mother Kirtida. I liked his point that Kirtida didn’t waist time trying to make others think she was advanced. She just put all her effort into becoming advanced. I also liked his point that at death you cannot fake Krishna consciousness. Your ability to transcend, or not transcend, by dint of your level of devotion, will be tested and apparent.

As part of the Art Show we drove by a caravan of cars, only five minutes away, where Madan Mohan gave us a tour of the unique, but functionally built, house he is designing for his home. It was interesting how his design seemed to connect an expression of his “self,??? the aesthetic of the environment and his Krishna consciousness all in one space.

We then proceeded to Innisfree Gardens. Instead of a lengthy Vrindaban Parikram, as we did there last time, we only took a short tour of the main garden where we eventually sat in a most idyllic shady place to hear a drama written by Bhakta Alex from the NYU theater department. I had originally asked Yajna Purusa with Alex’s assistance to organize a performance. Unfortunately there was not enough time to get together a presentation, but fortunately the script was ready. Yajna Purusa gave a short introduction to put the drama in context of its place in Gaura Lila and then Alex read his rendition of the chastisement of Mukunda. We were overwhelmed by the quality of the presentation written in perfect iambic pentameter, the standard for Shakespearean Drama:

Lord Caitanya: Dear Friends of fortune cast your eyes on me
Your humble, oh humble, your love held true
Your devoted servant through all of time
Through ages past and ages brought anew
My eyes run piercing tears of solid stream
At thoughts of those gathered with graceful soul
As my heart drifts through a deep ocean dream
For love of God, and all his devotees.
I cry HARI HARI, in chorus pure
With hope that all shall join my song of love
Dance true, let not your aching woes endure
For here is God, and God is here with you.

The drama was well written and dramatically read. The audience was captivated. A lively discussion followed as to why Mukunda was overjoyed when Lord Caitanya announced his final decree that Mukunda would be able to see him after ten million births. The devotees didn’t want to leave, but I had wind things up so the devotees could return for lunch and their journeys back home.

Krishna conscious drama is essential to developing Krishna consciousness.

After explaining and rejecting mixed devotional service, Sri Krishna explains to Uddhava the essence of pure devotional service by quoting from the Srimad Bhagavatam. I was surprised to see the standing of drama in Sri Krishna’s concluding verse highlighting the practice of pure devotional service.

“My dear Uddhava, narrations of My pastimes and qualities are all-auspicious and purify the entire universe. A faithful person who constantly hears, glorifies, and remembers such transcendental activities, who through dramatic performances relives My pastimes beginning with my appearance, and who takes full shelter of Me, dedicating his religious, sensual and occupational activities for My satisfaction, certainly obtains unflinching devotional service to Me, the Eternal Personality of Godhead.” (SB 11.11.23-24, emphasis added)

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New Ekachakra Dham This is

August 4th, 2001

New Ekachakra Dham

This is our second attempt at organizing a weekend retreat. Our prime objective; to give devotees living in the world concentrated periods for Krishna consciousness beyond just hours during the day or week. We also tried something new this retreat, a visual art show of community devotees. Our general objective was to make Krishna consciousness more inclusive. I divided this into three specific objectives:

  1. To encourage individual devotees with artistic talents in the community of Vaisnavas.
  2. To encourage the community of Vaisnavas at large that Krishna consciousness is inclusive of individuality and creativity.
  3. To make Krishna consciousness more accessible to the general public, specifically artists.

Many people who could appreciate the wealth of culture and wisdom in Krishna consciousness perhaps never do because of preconceived notions of what Krishna consciousness is based on the history and how it has been presented. They see it as too restrictive, conformist, or cloistered. Artistic devotees and their visual art, or art in general, could serve as a bridge to communicate Krishna consciousness to such people, especially in the general area around New York City, a region that produces and attracts creative people.

A question arose: Does the art in our show have to be directly Krishna consciousness and traditional? My general opinion: No, although in many ways that’s ideal. Devotees are of different levels of commitment in different stages of their spiritual journey. To restrict their form of visual expression to traditional Krishna conscious art could be repressive to their creative expression, and might alienate those who need such an outlet for their innate creative impulse.

The essence is chanting and hearing about Krishna, but to make people comfortable to interact and participate in a community based on those ideals, they need to see the Krishna conscious community as inclusive, or at least supportive, of their essential – not illicit – attachments.

After the art show and the superb feast we were scheduled to have a discussion about the art show. Mahatma Prabhu was singing beautiful kirtans in the temple to help congregate the devotees. The consensus of the devotees and the artists (let’s do kirtan), however confirmed a certain inkling I had about today’s program. When a religious community takes care of the needs if its members the members become much more serious about their religion.

Boston I had a short

July 23rd, 2001

Boston

I had a short exchange with Bhurijan Prabhu via email. Bhurijan has been steadfastly and deeply studying the Bhagavatam in a very systematic way?especially in the last five years. From our discussion I can understand that the result of his careful study is that he is progressively becoming very detached. He is peacefully resigned to God’s will and serving that will, even when it moves against ones personal attachments. When the fruitless attempt to alter destiny?which is beyond one?s control?subsides, one comes to goodness and transcends passion and the attachments arising from passion. Thoughtfulness, deliberation, and calmness in one’s character become apparent.

Boston SONIC DISFIGURING OF CONSCIOUSNESS

July 22nd, 2001

Boston

SONIC DISFIGURING OF CONSCIOUSNESS CATARACT

Transcendental incantation
Surpassing imagination
Syllables for meditation
Rhythmic cleansing tune

Consciousness in transformation
Penetrating sound vibration
Mind switched to another station
Heart like Moon in June

Internal jubilation
Audible illumination
Depression meets with devastation
Like darkness at high noon

Illusion’s web in ruination
Soul and body separation
With great concentration
Chanting in my room

?Madan Mohan dasa (Mark Oppenheimer)

Now that I stay at New Ekachakra dhama and Madan Mohan is living next door, we occasionally meet in the evening. Madan Mohan’s nature is contemplative. It takes a lot of integrity to think deeply and come up with sound and honest conceptions of the world and oneself that are not marred by prejudice born of attachment. Madan Mohan sincerely tries to do this?sometimes even to the extent of testing his own core convictions?but his faith is strong, most of which is based on his experience with the holy name over the years. Last week we had a particularly interesting discussion.

Since the foundation and conclusion of his deliberation is theistic, although he is willing to be challenged, his process of reflection is jnana-misra bhakti?philosophical analysis leading to God. Perhaps I am only just getting to know Madan Mohan more deeply, but I see that his thoughtfulness has invoked positive changes in him?which, after all, is the purpose of personal introspection?and has brought him closer to God. He shared with me the intellectual aspect of the process of his change:

?I analyzed my whole life to discover what in my life has made me the way I am. I then tried to understand how I used that to get where I am. I am now contemplating how to transcend that to go further in spiritual consciousness.?

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Boston Meditation On Humility IX

July 21st, 2001

Boston

Meditation On Humility IX – Closing Thoughts
“Don’t think you?re better than everyone, or anyone.”?One brijabasi sadhu to a friend.

?Low self-esteem is still governed by false ego; upset that they can’t live up to their material ambitions. A humble person still feels insignificant, but he has the self-worth to know that he is part of Krishna. Part of humility is to feel fallen, but that gives one self-worth because he feels God?s mercy and care: ?I am may be fallen and worthless, but I must be worth something because Krishna has made all this effort to save me.?” ?Srila Ravindra Svarupa (paraphrased by Maha Muni)

“Humility means not to think less of yourself, but to think of your self less.” ?Varsana Maharaja

Meditation On Humility X
There was a very nice program tonight arranged by Nitai Priya at her apartment. I read my meditations on humility and left it open for discussion. I was astounded by the level of participation by the audience and by the intensity of the discussion that pursued. Everyone seemed to have something to say.

The dialogue was stirred by a question brought up by Kaustubha. How should one respond to even a peer who is abusive, and corrects one maliciously out of envy? Can a humble man respond and defend oneself, or should one acquiesce out of humility?

I think the conversation stirred up on two accounts: People feeling exploited in institutional, hierarchical situations, where superiors use the philosophy of humility to exploit subordinates, and the inherent misunderstanding of the word humble.

I really enjoyed seeing how enlivened the devotees were to all be so involved in the discussion. I think I should incorporate more audience participation into my style of lecturing. So many interesting points were made. This is what I gleaned from the discussion from my view, although the discussion continued passionately through prasadam:

Humility has two connotations?one favorable and one unfavorable. In a favorable sense, humility indicates an absence of pride and assertiveness; in spiritual terms, a realization of the self. In unfavorable terms, it refers to an almost abject lack of self-respect. If one takes humility in the first sense,when attacked, one will generally not defend himself?especially if it just a matter of pride. In the discussion, examples were cited of Maharaja Rahugana?s abuse of Jada Bharat; Vidura, when cursed by his nephew Duryodhana; and Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, when falsely accused by Ramachandra Puri. All turned the other cheek, so to speak. Of course, in certain circumstances one can respond, but not out of pride, but out compassion or duty to correct one?s accuser. One’s first inclination, however, is certainly not to defend out of false ego.

If one takes humility in the second sense, which is akin to a lack of self-esteem (and especially if the philosophy of humility is being used to exploit one), to respond to it may even be healthy. One’s submission in this case will, in all likelihood, not be done out of humility and may even reinforce one?s lack of self-respect.

The subject of responding according to ones level of realization was brought up in this discussion. Even a healthy person?though not one on the highest platform?may feel a need to defend oneself in certain circumstances, such as when one feels that his self-dignity is being abused to the extent that if he aquiesces he will no longer be able to function in the world with a reasonable degree of self-respect. One has to be careful, however, not to make excuses for
ones own pride.

I’ll stop here. The discussion can go on. I welcome anyone input to the discussion. Send me your comments. I may or may not post it in the journal, but I will certainly respond.

Boston Meditation On Humility (VIII)

July 20th, 2001

Boston

Meditation On Humility (VIII)
Lack of self-esteem that manifests in submissiveness and shyness can be conducive to humility. Lack of self-esteem that manifests in bravado and pride can nourish false prestige. To one degree or another, a conditioned soul manifests one or another at times. I need to go deeper here on this thought, but I will leave it for the audience to meditate on.

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Boston Meditation on humility VII

July 19th, 2001

Boston

Meditation on humility VII
“One should chant the holy name in a humble state of mind, thinking oneself lower than the straw in the street and more tolerant than the tree, devoid of all sense of false prestige, and ready to offer all respects to others. In such a state of mind one can chant the name constantly.” (Siksastaka 3)

Many years ago, I was in Jagannatha Puri, on a solitary retreat and was chanting 64 rounds. During that time I realized that I had some envy for a devotee who I had been unconsciously viewing as a competitor and who had become successful. When those feelings arose, I decided to try to uproot them by chanting the first verse in the Siksastakam quoted above?trnad api sunicena?in between each round. I especially meditated on the phrase ?devoid of all sense of false prestige ready to offer all respects to others.? Especially while chanting that phrase, I began intentionally trying to change my attitude toward that devotee by consciously offering him respects. I distinctly remember receiving much mercy in terms of attraction for the holy name.

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New Ekachakra Dham Meditation On

July 18th, 2001

New Ekachakra Dham

Meditation On Humility VI
Pure devotional service is causeless. If there is some reason or motive for what you do, like prestige or fame, your actions are not pure devotional service because there is a cause. I pray to be happy with anonymity or, if I’m praised, give all credit where credit is due?to guru and Krishna.

?If you examine me you will see no good qualities. Your mercy is all that I am made of.? ?Narottama dasa Thakur

?My enemies flatter me.? ?Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Thakur

?I am in not in this for name and fame.? ?pure devotee sadhu grafitti artist in Vrindaban, when asked to pose for a picture for BTG

New Ekachakra Dham Meditation On

July 17th, 2001

New Ekachakra Dham

Meditation On Humility V
I understand what humility is, but have I realized what humility is? Am I humble? It is definitely something to strive for. I am trying by devotional service and by reading about Krishna and transcendental knowledge. Real knowledge?knowledge of Krishna?does not make one proud, but bends him with that knowledge like the supple branch of a tree over-laden with ripe fruits

Without humility there is no bhakti. Bhakti, or devotion, begins with the experience of Krishna’s grace. Unearned kindness naturally invokes a sense of unworthiness making us humble.

Grace also requires a humble mood as a conduit because mercy can only flow downward. A pauper can never be kind or merciful to a millionaire in terms of his wealth. Since only the humble man can experience mercy, only the humble man can attain bhakti.

Narada had many qualities. He was renounced, well-behaved, and sober, but those qualities alone were not sufficient to attain the mercy of the Bhaktivedantas. He received the mercy of pure devotional service from the Bhaktivedantas because he was poor and humble and attracted the mercy of these great souls, who were dina-vatsalah?kind to the poor.

It is not that being poor makes one humble, but if it creates within one a realization of ones dependence on God, one?s poverty is an asset. God can make us poor to help us be humble, but he can also give us the world to make us feel undeserving.

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