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Govardhan In the evenings we

December 10th, 2001

Govardhan

In the evenings we meet in His Holiness Niranjan Swami?s room to discuss Krishna consciousness, but mostly to chant Gaura bhajans.

Niranjan Swami shares his realization on harinam initiation (paraphrase):

“Harinam initiation means to give the Holy Name. Giving the Holy Name means to give faith in the Holy Name, for one can only chant the Holy Name determinedly as far as one’s faith allows. It is thus an offense to give the Holy Name to one who has little faith, for they will offend the Holy name. By his instructions, the spiritual master thus first creates faith in Krishna-kirtan so that one is inspired, determined and attracted to adopt a vow to chant at least sixteen rounds properly. Chanting the Holy Name is therefore the first duty of the bonafide disciples.

“Further interaction of the spiritual master with his disciple is for the singular purpose of increasing their faith in the Holy Name, especially by the guru?s teachings. The disciple thus sees their spiritual master’s instructions and dealings as the means to become purified and qualified for the pure Holy Name (suddha nam), the process given by Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu for achieving love of Godhead. Thus the disciple?s appreciation, faith and relationship with the spiritual master naturally increases as they become increasingly perfected in chanting Hare Krishna. The real guru-disciple relationship is thus based on the Holy Name and the disciples attraction for chanting.”

Maharaja?s words struck me and solidified my conception of my real duty to those I instruct, and their duty to me. I did note that while in Govardhan, as my attraction for chanting increased, my appreciation, gratitude and relationship for Srila Prabhupada also significantly deepened. After our discussion, Niranjana Swami sings, “Keno Hare Krsna Nam”, by Bhaktivinoda Thakur. ”

(Refrain) Oh, why does my heart not weep from chanting the Holy Names Hare Krishna?

1. The bird of my heart does not know what past sinful activities it has committed to cause this inability to chant Hare Krishna properly.
2. O forest bird! I have kept something for you very carefully within the cottage of my heart?the holy name of Lord Hari, which is overflowing with pure sweet honey.
3. O bird, you could learn the chanting of this name if you were taught. A bird is easily able to speak all names; why then does this bird of my heart refuse to chant Hare Krishna? Oh, why does my heart not weep from chanting the holy names Hare Krishna?
4. O Bird! Come, let us go to the spiritual world, the land of true everlasting beauty. It is the place where the imaginary man of my mind will never again come and go on the revolving cycle of birth and death.
5. O bird! At the time of death, your body will simply be placed upon a funeral stretcher, lifted on the shoulders of four persons and carried to the cremation grounds.
6. Alas! The cremation fire will then enter your mouth and totally consume your tongue. There will be nothing you can do to save yourself, for at time it is too late?you will be unable to speak any more.”

Govardhan I am still at

December 9th, 2001

Govardhan

I am still at Govardhan. It?s hard to leave, especially as more sadhus arrive.

His Holiness Sacinandana Swami, His Grace Bhurijan Prabhu and his wife, Her Grace Jagattarini devi dasi, are now all in Govardhan. They have rented a newly built dharmasalla (pilgrim guesthouse) on the other side of Govardhan for a sadhana retreat for just a small group of serious devotees, about forty. I ride my bicycle there everyday for their association.

There is much more room between the parikram path and Govardhan Hill on its western side. Most of their retreat classes are thus held in small forest under a tree, completely undisturbed by residents or pilgrims, an ideal setting.

The day before yesterday I attended Sacinandana?s seminars on the Holy Name. Yesterday the whole group chanted 64 rounds by the side of Giriraj.

Today I heard Bhurijan?s lecture on studying the Bhagavatam.

Bhurijan stressed that he reads the Bhagavatam not to spout knowledge, but to become influenced by it. In this regard, he demonstrated a technique of study that he tries to employ everyday for at least fifteen minutes. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the handout about this so I cannot reproduce it verbatim. The essence of his method is to put oneself in a prayerful mood before reading, as if one is approaching the Deity. One then should read slowly looking for meaning, not to finish a set amount. When a sentence touches ones heart or inspires one, one should softly read that sentence aloud several times, and then meditate on it praying for further meaning.

To demonstrate the method, he read to us just one paragraph from Krishna book. He discussed the realizations and images he gleaned from just the first sentence and asked others for input. What manifested from just that one sentence was quite dynamic. He thus demonstrated how even just a few phrases or even one word could invoke so many remembrances and conceptions if approached thoughtfully and prayerfully.

Bhurijan is the consummate teacher. He then had us break up into groups and asked us to read in a similarly meditative manner from a selection of our choice from anyone of Srila Prabhupada?s books provided at the retreat. We were then to free write for fifteen minutes on whatever we read. Basically, the free writing here meant to start writing on a particular subject and continue writing with whatever comes to ones mind, never lifting ones pen, even if one loses ones train thought. Bhurijan finally asked each group to discus their realizations among themselves. I looked around. The discussions were animated and intense.

I was paired with Sacinandana Swami. We shared with each other what we wrote and discussed our realizations. Our exchanges were also quite intimate and deep.

When Bhurijan called the group back together for his next lecture, the devotees were so absorbed that they were reluctant to heed his call. It actually took some time for him to gather them. What we actually learned: The true meaning of sadhu sanga.

From Bhurijan?s lecture:

“The name Pariksit means examiner. Lord Krishna appeared in Maharaj Pariksits womb. For the rest of his life he examined everyone searching for Krishna, searching for that wonderful form. We should also examine the world, searching again for that experience of Krishna we had that first attracted us to His lotus feet.”

Comment by Mother Srimati during a discussion about surrender “There are two stages of surrender according to Bhativinoda Thakur. First stage?whatever we have we give to Krishna. Second stage?our mood is ‘Krishna, I?m yours!’. We give to Krishna what is His.”

Comment by Bhurijan on Mother Srimati?s comment, “There is a third stage of surrender at the stage of prema discussed in Nectar of Devotion, ?Krishna you are mine!'”

Govardhan I am staying on

December 8th, 2001

Govardhan

I am staying on Govardhan, but that is not the highest thing. Higher than Govardhan is unalloyed service to the mission of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. If it is not higher than why did Srila Prabhupada leave Vrindaban for the West? I remember a glorification of Srila Prabhupada by a famous Vrindaban saint during Srila Prabhupada?s Vyasa Puja at the Sri Krishna Balaram Mandir in 1991. He enthusiastically declared to assembled devotees:

“If all the great Vaisnavas in the last fifty years were congregated in this assembly and Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu entered, who would he go to first? I say He would go to Srila Prabhupada!”

Govardhan By the Lord?s grace,

December 7th, 2001

Govardhan

By the Lord?s grace, I have been given some time to stay here and chant. Better take advantage while my fortune lasts. There is no certainty of one’s destiny. My mission could change tomorrow. I remember times in the late 70s when my workday literally started at 5 AM and went all day with no time for myself. It went on that way for years. The main thing is, regardless of one circumstance, to remain a servant so that one is satisfied with whatever service the spiritual master and the Supreme Lord offer. But if one is given time for direct devotional service, chanting and hearing about Krishna, it should be treasured and not a moment wasted.

Govardhan Vrindaban Mysteries II His

December 4th, 2001

Govardhan

Vrindaban Mysteries II
His Holiness Niranjana Swami arrives in Govardhan for the month. He joins me on my late-afternoon walk to Anniyor. We discuss his favorite topic, the holy name. Maharaj becomes animated and shares his realizations. We become lost in hari katha for forty minutes. As we are almost back to the ashram, an old sadhu appears on the parikram path racing towards us in a swift wobbling old sadhu walk. It is dusk. We can barely make out his silhouette. As he approaches I hear a faint, but rapid machine gun-like mutter of the holy name mantra after mantra, “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Hare Hare”, mixed with an occasional ecstatic emphasis on one of the names in a couplet, HAREEE Krishna! “Hare RAAAMA!” He seems familiar. I politely study his face. It?s namacarya Sanatan das babaji, the siddha mahatma from Nandagoan. “Sanatan das?!” I query in almost a “Dr Livingston, I presume?”* tone. He nods. I hit the sands of the path. I offer pranams. Sanatan stops, smiles and responds in his typical rapid repeated murmur of maha mantra, “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna…”, and then passes continuing his babaji trot around Govardhan.

Siddha Mahatma, perfected soul? How can I say? But day and night, Sanatan never stops chanting the holy name. For over forty years, the holy name has remained on his tongue every minute of his waking existence. Sanatan Das is the foremost disciple of Srila Prabhupada?s god-brother Akincana Krishna Das Babaji, who Srila Prabhupada himself recognize as a paramhamsa. The true disciple imbibes the mood of his guru. Like his master, the holy name incessantly pours from his lips.

When Srila Krishna Das Babaji passed away, my god-brother BB Govinda Swami felt deep separation. He thus went around and asked Sanatan?s contemporaries and followers if there was anyone left on the planet of his stature. The same answer echoed again and again, “Sanatana Das”, “Sanatana Das”.

I have been praying sadhu sanga. It?s my entreaty while chanting the holy name. The holy name sent Niranjana Swami to accompany me today, who immersed me in nam katha around Govardhan. By nam katha, Sanatan appears out of the dark and blesses us with the pure name, “Hare Krishna Hare Krishna”. The mysteries of Vrindaban unfold.

* A famous phrase uttered by Albert Sweitzer when meeting the long lost missionary doctor, Dr. Livingston, in the depths of Africa where he was ministering medical assistance to the people.

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Govardhan Extend my stay in

December 1st, 2001

Govardhan

Extend my stay in Govardhan for two weeks. Return to Vrindaban just for two days. Fakir Mohan, an unassuming Vaisnava saint from Orissa has brought to Vrindaban his Deities, Sri Sri Radha Madhava. Sri Sri Radha Madhava are the personal Deities of Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur from his ancestral place in Orissa, Choti. They were lost for over fifty years until Fakir Mohan, an ardent follower of Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur, found them after years of arduous search. For Karttik, they are placed on the altar of Sri Sri Radha Shyamasundar. He explained to me why:

“When your Prabhupada chanted Radha Madhava, he cried [referring to a famous incident when Srila Prabhupada introduced the song Jaya Radha Madhava and went into apparent ecstatic trance]. By his tears, he has attracted Radha Madhava. The Gaudiya Math, and all the Vaisnavas in Vrindaban, are coming to the Sri Krishna Balaram Mandir to see Radha Madhava, but your Srila Prabhupada cried for Him. He has thus come there.”

Govardhan End of Karttik Karttik

November 30th, 2001

Govardhan

End of Karttik
Karttik ends. The fruit of my vrata: Govardhan pours mercy in the form of sadhu sanga. His Holiness Radhanatha Swami, His Grace Bhurijan Prabhu, and His Grace Partha Sarathi Prabhu come to the ashram for the day. His Holiness Sacinandana Swami and His Holiness Niranjana Swami will arrive in a few days.

Partha Sarathi opines that we have so much to look forward in the Hare Krishna Movement in terms of sadhu sanga. From his own experience, he sees how deep the spiritual exchanges among certain devotees as they mature. He envisions how even more wonderful the exchanges will become in the future.

As individual practitioners of spiritual life, our path, personality and spiritual attributes develop uniquely as we become purified. I observed the extraordinary attributes of my god brothers:

Partha Sarathi has a deep attraction for worship and meditation and can happily sit alone all day chanting, reading and thinking deeply about Krishna?s pastimes.

Bhurijan Prabhu is exceptionally thoughtful and steeped in Bhagavat philosophy. He thus views the world through the eyes of the sastra, searching in each life circumstance for the unique opportunity to please Krishna.

Radhanatha Swami has a wonderful capacity to serve and love the devotees. Generally one is conditioned by duality. Ones affection for others is thus tempered by conceptions like friend and enemy, high class and low class, and senior and junior. I observed Maharaja carefully in his short stay. He makes no distinction in his love for the Vaisnavas, offering his warmth to all regardless of status.

Govardhan Bhurijan Prabhu just arrived

November 29th, 2001

Govardhan

Bhurijan Prabhu just arrived in Vrindaban. We talked for some time. He invited me over to his place to see his new Deity. I was surprised to see on the corner of the altar of his exquisite Sri Sri Radha Giridhari (govardhan silas) his new deity, three small wooden carved monkeys, one covering with his two hands his eyes, the next his mouth and the third his ears, the famous hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil icons. For a moment I was puzzled. I then caught on to import:

Bhurijan was an experienced resident of ISKCON Vrindaban, having lived here for over fifteen years. He realized, unfortunately, how any large gathering in Kali Yuga, even holy places, tend to become bastions of mundane topics, especially politics. To advance in bhakti, one has to be determined to avoid that. His new unorthodox deity thus served as a reminder to protect one from the main impediments to pure bhakti while living in the Dham. I did notice how he would expertly and politely gear any discussions away from even a scent of politics, or criticism, to meaningful discussions. Hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil?a helpful reminder while being in the Dham.

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Govardhan Was informed that my

November 28th, 2001

Govardhan

Was informed that my God-brother Sriman Tribhuvanatha Prabhu passed away three weeks ago and that a ceremony will be held today for him at the Krishna Balaram Mandir in Vrindaban. Although he was not a regular acquaintance, our exchanges were always pleasant. When I first came to Vrindaban in 1976, he was already here as a lead preacher. I have an eye for talent. I knew he was special.

Tribhuvanath was a young vibrant Irish devotee with a fighting spirit, a dashing hero type. He had intensity of purpose, but was never aggressive or exploitive. When one is compassionate energy becomes only an asset for helping others. Tribhuvanatha Prabhu dedicated himself selflessly to the mission of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. He was non-envious and pleasant.

When I first saw Tribhuvanath, he was leading kirtan in the Krishna Balaram Mandir. He played the mrdanga so enthusiastically that by the end of the kirtan he would be stomping his left leg and feverishly banging the top of the drum with his right hand. At the kirtan?s crescendo, the clay drum gradually broke. He continued with fervor. It was gradually pulverized and it wasn?t the first drum broken by his innocent exuberance. It is hard to believe that one remembered as so exceptionally vibrant suffered an early death, a victim of cancer at just fifty years of age.

When a dedicated preacher leaves untimely, it can only be that the Lord has a more suitable body for them to serve the Lord?s mission, or they have gone directly to the spiritual world. Srila Prabhupada was so pleased with Sriman Tribhuvanatha for opening and running a successful temple in Edinborough before he was even twenty years of age! As an object of the spiritual pleasure, I would not be surprised if his untimely death brought him directly to Lord Krishna.

The next time I met Tribhuvanatha, he was on his yearly visits to Vrindaban. At the time, he was vigorously preaching and risking his life in the Middle East. I would sit in rapt attention as he would describe some of his exploits. He was fearless. He preached and distributed books in Lebanon during the war with Israel. One year, at the time of Guru Purnima, just before he was to leave for India to take sannyasa, he was unfortunately captured by the PLO and jailed as a suspected terrorist. He told me how painful it was to hear the jets flying overhead in the direction of India imagining they were heading to Mayapur.

Once he told how the car in front of him exploded. Like James Bond, he swung the door open from his taxi and jumped out to save his life before his car plunged into the fire.

He described to me how he distributed the first Arabic Gita in Beirut. The books were so big that practically one could only carry one at a time. When he ran into an office building to sell one, it looked like as if he was carrying a bomb. He had pleaded with his god-brother, Ravanari, the translator and publisher, to produce something more practical. Ravanari, however, was very stubborn. He was a former PLO lieutenant of Yasser Arafat, whose professed goal now was to march on Mecca and install Sri Sri Gaura Nitai. Sometimes Srila Prabhupadas?s books have been described as bombs, but perhaps only Tribhuvatha realized the importance, carrying and distributing the huge Arabic Gita, in a Muslim country, and during a war! Some men are just born heroes.

My association with Sriman Tribhuvanatha was occasional and brief, but left a strong impression. There is a saying that one can test the rice by tasting one grain. Looking back on those meetings, he was consistently enthusiastic, pride-less and good-hearted?a vaisnava fixed on the lotus feet of his spiritual master and fully dedicated to his mission. I can only assume, and it has been confirmed by others, he led his whole life that way. How wonderful to not only live dedicated to noble ideals, but to exemplify them as well.

From Sriman Tribhuvanath Prabhu we learn how to live a simple life with full dedication to the spiritual master without offense to others.

Govardhan Getting very attached to

November 26th, 2001

Govardhan

Getting very attached to practicing spiritual life in Govardhan. I feel much at home here. Even thinking how to shift my base from Vrindaban to Govardhan.

The old fort, once made to protect the King of Khajaraho on his pilgrimage to Govardhan, now a fortress against the modes of material nature. It feels that way. Chanting, darshan of Govardhan, the mind becomes ones servant and satisfied to hear the holy name. I now understand why certain sadhus vowed never to leave the Dham, and the sages of yore were forbidden to cross the ocean?the modes thicken and become active and distract one from spiritual life. I must find a way to maintain this sadhana, even in the west, not just the numbers, quality.

I?m filled with contradictions: I don?t want to leave Govardhan, but I feel more enthused for preaching, leaving and sharing the Dham with others.

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