Waves of Devotion

Dhanurdhara Swami November 13th, 2000

Govardhana/Vrindaban

I returned to Vrindaban and settled into my room at the japa-kutir. His trusted assistant Baladeva built the japa-kutir for Satsvarupa Maharaja, but due to health reasons, Maharaja could not use it. I was thus fortunate to be given his room on the roof.

The house had already become a bit of a tirtha. During the Babrid Mosque controversy in Ayodhya, we even hid Srila Narayana Maharaja at this house. The police were putting Hindu fundamentalists in jail after the Mosque was torn down and a rumor was floating around Mathura that Narayana Maharaja was next. Narayana Maharaja is a Vaishnava, not a Hindu fundamentalist, but being probably the most prominent spiritual leader in Mathura, he was at risk.

He stayed for ten days with Satsvarupa Maharaja. I remember Narayana Maharaja telling us personally how impressed he was by living with Satsvarupa Maharaja, noting that Maharaja arose everyday near midnight and, like the Goswamis, slept so little. Every afternoon many senior devotees would meet on the roof of the japa-kutir to discuss krishna-katha with Narayana Maharaja.

Now Partha Sarathi Prabhu has also stayed there for a month of spiritual practice and meditation. He loved the atmosphere?especially the unparalleled view of the dome of Srila Prabhupada’s Samadhi Mandir. For the last three years I have also been having regular lectures there every evening on Bhagavatam, Caitanya Bhagavat, and now Bhakti-Sandarbha.

The japa-kutir is sanctified place but, unfortunately, it now appears that Baladeva needs to sell it.

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Dhanurdhara Swami November 12th, 2000

Govardhana/Vrindaban/Govardhana

I went to Vrindaban for the day to attend the Vyasa-puja ceremony for Partha Sarathi Prabhu, held on the large veranda outside my room there. About twenty of his disciples attended and it was short, sweet, and intimate. Krishna spoke through me to glorify His devotee. My talk was appreciated, but I can’t remember too many of the details. I just remember how pleasing it was to spend time with my dear friend and godbrother.

Now that kartik is over, I reduced my rounds by a third. I miss the healthy pressure of the vrata (vow). It created a shield of determination to protect me from distraction and personal laxity. One also needs a strong purpose to not allow others to infringe on one’s personal time without offending them. A nama-vrata is a good reason. I started reading ?Follow The Angels? by Srila B.R. Sridhara Maharaja, Srila Prabhupada’s revered godbrother. In that book he gives a wonderful interpretation of the enigmatic verse from the Srimad-Bhagavatam:

“Lord Siva says, ?I may know the meaning of the Bhagavatam and Sukadeva may also know. As for Vyasadeva he may or may not know it. The Bhagavatam can only be known through bhakti, not by mundane intelligence or by reading many commentaries.?”

The idea is that Bhagavatam is not just a matter of words, ink, and paper. It is cit-sakti?spiritual potency, directly Krishna. When the Bhagavatam manifests itself through a qualified person, it is not manufactured from or dependent on that person’s intellect?although the intelligence used in Krishna’s service is an important part of the process. It manifests through the person from a higher realm. It therefore may be beyond a person’s intellectual capacity or memory, and the person serving as an agent to manifest the Bhagavatam may or may not even understand what he has spoken.

Srila Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakur used to pray to each word in the Bhagavatam and volumes of meaning concerning the pastimes of Radha and Krishna would pour forth onto his page. No one could decipher that from the mere literal meaning. So by mundane intelligence even the author of the Bhagavatam, Srila Vyasadeva, may or may not know its full meaning. When I put the First Canto of Bhagavatam on tape, I would spend the day before preparing it as nicely as I could. The next day, I would try to present the message as clearly as possible, with the understanding that Krishna is nondifferent from his message. If, by Srila Prabhupada’s grace, I was able to elucidate the text cogently, the experience of hearing the message, both for the speaker and hearer, seemed beyond the intellectual or mental sphere. It was a meditation on Krishna, and an experience of His presence. When you meet someone that is attractive, it is experiential, not academic. In the studying of Bhagavatam we use our intelligence in Krishna’s service, but ultimately it is an observation, not a theoretical study.

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Dhanurdhara Swami November 11th, 2000

Govardhana – Kartik-Purnima (End of Caturmasya)

Every purnima (full moon day), pilgrims come from all over North India, Uttar-Pradesh, Delhi Punjab, and Haryana for a full parikrama of Govardhana. There has been a nonstop parikrama outside our property for the last twenty-four hours. The crowds actually start from the Ekadasi before the full moon and steadily build to a crescendo on purnima. In the last five years, these crowds have dramatically increased in size each year to the point where Govardhana parikrama has become a prominent part of the spiritual and social life of North India.

Wouldn’t it be great if there was also a Govardhana Hill in Upstate NY where all of the devotees on the Northeast coast of the US could festively head to every month as part of their spiritual/social life? With all its dirt, disorder, and poverty, Uttar-Pradesh wallas (the residents of India’s largest state) still have the wealth of Govardhana Hill in their state.

Kartik-Purnima in Govardhana is the most popular purnima. I can count from my window at least thirty people walking past the front gate of our ashram every ten seconds. I estimate that an average parikrama takes 5 hours and thus calculate that every 24 hours there are almost 500,000 pilgrims circumambulating Govardhana Hill. Many of these people are walking together with the people from their village to form kirtana groups. It’s a Fifth Avenue crowd in rush and density, but with dhotis, red and yellow Rajasthani turbans, and a lot more devotion. I also see Olympic-like sadhus wearing babaji-vesa (short white dhotis) in great shape?racing and chanting around with beads in one hand and walking sticks in the other. There are also a few old Indian village ladies, with their old skirts and buttoned-down shirts, dressed somehow like the granny from the ?Beverly Hillbillies? (if you go back that far).

Gunagrahi Maharaja, an expert percussionist, admires the wild enthusiastic drums?mostly dhola, a North Indian wood drum?which accompany each kirtana. He has a keen ear for music and told me that he can hear about ten distinct kirtanas at one time. He also has bad insomnia from the jetlag, and since the window to his room faces the parikrama path, he’s usually kept up throughout night. Though he’s not at all bored with the show, the lack of regulation is taking its toll.

As I am writing I also hear the cacophony of kirtanas outside my window: Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Radhe Krishna, Radhe Krishna, Honk! Honk! Indian cars and busses with loud speakers are blaring Hindi bhajans and selling home medical cures.

We ended kartik with a feast. I’m somewhat of a connoisseur of feasts?not just the preparations, but with the serving and atmosphere created to relish it as well. Ravindra Svarupa Prabhu is eagerly waiting to break his kichari fast for the month, but we all sit in anticipation.

The legend, or I should say history, of Govardhana is based on large quantities of food, offered and eaten. From personal experience, I have full faith in the benediction that we can sit by the side of the King of mountains and eat as much as we want?aniyor! aniyor! Our kitchen is a bit famous, and as expected, everything is expertly cooked. To our surprise Giriraja has been offered a large variety of North Indian, Gurjarati, Bengali, and international fare: Puris, rice, bitter melon, sukta (Bengali spiced vegetable soup), channa subji (Punjabi chick pea and vegetable preparation), palak paneer (spinach and cheese), dahl, bhel puri (An exotic Gujarati snack with chidwa, and several chutneys), dhokla (Gujarati dahl bread), coriander chutney, saffron srikant, sweet rice, rasa malai (Bengali cheese and cooked down milk sweet), vegeratarian jello, and butter pecan ice cream.

I was amazed by how much everyone ate. What we really relished, however, was the affection we all had for each other by spending the month together at
Govardhana practicing and sharing Krishna consciousness, a mood nourished perfectly by that wonderfully cooked feast, perfect serve-out, and the hospitable atmosphere of humble devotees. I was on the roof outside of my room talking to Ravindra Svarupa Prabhu when we spotted Kesava Bharati Prabhu walking quickly toward us. Ravindra Svarupa has a way with words and sometimes he would utter spontaneously perfect descriptive phrases like, “Here comes Kesava Bharati, the affable spirit of the place!”

Kesava Bharati’s open-heartedness and warmth from the beginning of the project has helped create and maintain a unique mood here of strict Krishna consciousness with a full openness of heart. I overheard heard Ravindra Svarupa tell him, after completing his own arduous vow and wandering in the garden gazing affectionately at Govardhana, “I’m going to miss this place!”

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Dhanurdhara Swami November 10th, 2000

Govardhana

Intoxicated bees were humming here and there amidst the rows of lush green trees filled with colorful, aromatic flowers. All the lakes, rivers, hills, and forest resounded with the melodious singing of flocks of many kinds of birds as they flew from place to place. Madhu-pati Sri Krishna, accompanied by Baladeva and the gopas entered Vrindavana and, while gazing the cows,vibrated a mellow sweet tune upon His alluring flute.” (Venu-gita 10)

Yesterday my chanting and service was slack. This morning a slight malaise,or fear, entered my consciousness. It was the familiar feeling one gets when you commit yourself to becoming resident of Vrindaban, but become relaxed in devotional service Vrindaban is Krishna?s internal potency and, therefore, everything here moves for His pleasure. If one is living in Vrindaban, but moving for his own pleasure, one is moving in the wrong direction. His life has become incompatible with the dhama and that unnatural situation is immediately felt in the heart.

Our property here, almost two acres, is filled with a variety of beautiful trees and flowers. Lok-pramana (evidence by village talk) espouses the theory that the king who built this small palace as his place of worship in Vrindaban even planted all of the possible varieties of local medicinal plants. There are rose, marigold, and tulasi gardens; rows of ashok and neem trees; and plenty of tamal and kadamba trees?favorites of Krishna and Radha. The kadamba trees here also form a beautiful kadamaba-kunja (a forest room manifest exclusively by the natural growth of flowers or trees). A six-foot indigenous red-stone and mortar Rajasthani wall surrounds the property with a three-foot wrought iron spiked fence on top. It is necessary for security and to keep the thousands of Govardhana monkeys from our beautiful gardens.

Every animal has its own nature. Monkeys do monkey business, or damage. Therefore, at our house in Vrindaban, we plant mostly roses because, evidently, monkeys don’t like to eat them. Of course, they still come to break their stems and destroy them. The ashram in Govardhana, therefore, employs two chokidharas (gatemen) armed with imported slingshots just to keep out the monkeys. It’s a full-time job. At around 6AM, just after sunrise, the monkeys come from all directions to siege the palace. “Rah! Ah! Eh!” the chokidhars grunt, as they chase one monkey after another from the roofs of the towers on the various corners of the palace. They also chase them from the gardens until they jump back over the wall. “Rah! Ah! Eh!” the brahmacaris shout, as they also join in, as does Kesava Bharati. It’s war!

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Dhanurdhara Swami November 9th, 2000

Govardhana

I?m feeling better, but I?ve decided to forego today?s parikrama anyway. I fear that when I return from being in the sun from 10-12, I will be too exhausted for
concentrated chanting. Better I concentrate on chanting, but my determination could be stronger.

I am humbled by the Vaishnavas living here. Kesava Bharati is chanting 64 rounds and reading two chapters of Bhagavad-gita a day alongside an hour of assorted prayers, an editing marathon for the Brhad-Bhagavatamrta, hosting numerous Vaishnavas who visit during kartik, and kindly downloading my email so this journal can regularly be sent. How does he do it? He doesn’t waste time and doesn’t rest until his vrata is complete.

Kesava Bharati is humbled by the ashram pujari, Ranga Caitanya. For the four months of caturmasya, he has been eating only boiled sabji and dry chapatis in
addition to his vow to complete a full Govardhana parikrama every day?half in the morning and half in the evening. He also chants 64 rounds a day and performs all of his temple pujari service diligently and with enthusiasm, including bathing and dressing Sri Sri Krishna-Balarama (the ashram?s two large black and white Govardhana silas). He doesn’t speak much English so I haven’t spoken to him much, but from the few casual exchanges I sense he is a very sweet person.

How does he do it? There’s enough time in the day if one adds it all up. After all, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati took the vow of Haridas Thakura for ten years. That’s one billion names?one hundred and ninety two rounds a day!

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Dhanurdhara Swami November 8th, 2000

Govardhana – Bhisma-Pancaka

Bhisma, like Bhima, was a powerful ksatriya and a voracious eater. He thus lamented that he couldn’t follow the austerities of kartik. Lord Krishna knows the heart of his pure devotees. He thus offered Bhisma the concession that he would gain the same benefit of following the whole kartik if he could just follow the last five days. The last five days of kartik are therefore called Bhisma-Pancaka.Many Vaishnavas perform some extra austerity or vow on those days, so I’ve decided to add a half-parikrama of Govardhana to my personal vows every day, so that by the end of kartik, I will have completed at least two full Govardhana parikramas.

Today I started Bhisma-Pancaka by circumambulating the Dana-gati, Govinda-kunda, Punchari, Jatipur-half of Govardhana. Surprisingly, everything went wrong. It’s surprising because in other years, I’ve done the full 22-kilometer parikrama everyday without problem. I don’t, however, do well in the sun. Pita (the fire element in the body) increases and my life airs become imbalanced. That, however, was not the real problem. A reoccurring pain in my body stirred. It had little or nothing to do with the long walk around Govardhana, but what sometimes amounts to some discomfort was suddenly quite painful, and it remained that way for the whole day.

I identified my aches as a proverbial pinch by Krishna. Whenever we get too comfortable in this world, even in spiritual life, and become attached to staying permanently here, expect a wake up call: “This temporary material world is full of suffering. Take to the Holy Name of Krishna as our only business.” (Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur)

Another fruit of my chanting seems to be detachment, which I need to learn attain my spiritual goals.

I am too physically exhausted and uncomfortable to do much of anything today. I definitely feel too much pain to continue writing. Will I be able to go tomorrow?

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Dhanurdhara Swami November 7th, 2000

Govardhana

As kartika continues, chanting becomes easier, much easier. It becomes difficult to think to think of living any other way in any other place. At the same time, the inspiration to give Krishna consciousness to others also increases. That is the dilemma of spiritual life.

Received a letter today from Ekachakra dasa. Akincana Krishna dasa and he opened a Krishna club at NYU and new people came. When they initially approached me with the idea, I was naturally enthusiastic and encouraged them. His Holiness Radhantha Swami also visited the ashram and very much encouraged them. He stressed aggressive preaching, not in the sense of the old-style forcefulness in pushing ourselves on others, but in our determination to establish opportunities to give Krishna consciousness to others and to preach despite all obstacles?including our modes and mind. They initially met with resistance from the university, especially since the University funds the program, but after much perseverance, their first meeting was finally last week. I am looking forward to return to New York so I can spend some time with them but, for now, my duty is to stay here and purify myself.

Ravindra Svarupa’s younger son, Rupa, came to Govardhana today. He is a very interesting, very independent, and an extremely intelligent 23-year-old. He would have made a great?what we called in the old days??heavy hippy.? He is the only mathematics major at Antioch University, where he is also getting college credit for serving in Vrindaban’s Food for Life program. Ravindra Svarupa told me seriously after meeting his son this morning, ?I wish I was as smart as him.?

I took Rupa to Radha-kunda this morning and we visited all the tirthasthans there. He’s not a sadhaka, but he is devotional and respectful to the dhama and its inhabitants, with a healthy fear of committing offenses here.

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Dhanurdhara Swami November 6th, 2000

Govardhana

?O Lord, although You are able to give all kinds of benedictions, I do not pray to you for liberation, nor eternal life in Vaikuntha, nor any other boon. My only prayer is that your childhood pastimes may constantly appear in my mind. O Lord, I don’t even want to know Your feature of Paramatma. I simply wish that your childhood pastimes may ever be enacted in my heart.? (Damodarastakam 5)

When one has devotion he does not perform devotional service with the mindset that he has to attain something else by it, nor that he will accrue some benefit for doing it. His consciousness will be that now Krishna should be pleased by my activity. One should therefore chant because Krishna is pleased by our glorification, or at least that our chanting will purify us, and thus one day Krishna will be pleased by our devotion. The gopis do not chant on beads, but they chant Hare Krishna for the pleasure of Krishna. Our chanting should be done sweetly for the Lord’s pleasure.

If one is chants the Damodarastakam properly, it will express and nourish one’s own aspiration for devotional service. I am very attached to the intimate ceremony here. One should take advantage of kartika by simply offering the Lord these sublime prayers, wherever one might live.

Without bhakti, devotional service can even feel burdensome?like working for someone you have no relationship with and without recompense. That same service done with bhakti is the deepest pleasure of the heart, like doing humble service for one’s most beloved.

Without at least some austerity, however, it will be difficult to get bhakti and devotional service will remain a burden. Even singing these simple prayers and
offering a lamp to the Deity, a moderate vow for kartika, can bring some devotion to our hearts and make our devotional service easier. Who will not avail himself of such an opportunity?

“As indicated in the Padma Purana, this practice is extremely powerful, especially when performed in Vrindaban. In his commentary, Jiva Goswami says that if one performs kartika-vrata in Vrindaban, even without devotion, the Lord will very easily offer his personal service.” (Waves of Devotion, p.93)

His Holiness Giriraja Swami once told me?though I forget his reference?that kartika is like a sale for bhakti. What is usually sold at a very high personal price, bhakti, is given away cheaply during kartika for a relatively minimal effort.

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Dhanurdhara Swami November 5th, 2000

Govardhana

The spiritual enlivenment of kartika in Govardhana awakens remembrances of ecstasy.

• Chanting at the Henry Street temple in Brooklyn at my first Sunday feasts. No pleasure in this world could compare. I gave up everything to pursue the selfless pleasure of spiritual life.
• Lord Caitanya’s mercy the first time I went out on book distribution. The inundation of Lord’s Caitanya’s mercy was mystical. What was it? I became too busy as a teacher to continue and give it much time.
• Kirtana procession to the Yamuna every afternoon for two years without fail when I first came to Vrindaban. The next morning at mangala-arati, I would immediately and enthusiastically begin jumping when the Deities would appear, still feeling the double purification of harinama and yamuna-snana.
• A midnight bath in Radha-kunda on Bahulastami, Her appearance day. I was with Yasodananda Swami, Jagat Guru Swami, and Pradyumna. I witnessed our false egos wash away into small puddles next to us on the floor. That humility gave a taste for chanting?kirtinayah sada hari.
• Kumbha-mela in 1988. Bathing at the Triveni [the confluence of the Ganga, Yamuna, and Sarasvati] at 3:30 in the morning, followed by mangal-arati with Lokantha Swami leading. As he sang, I was so convinced that nectar was flowing from the heavens that I would tilt my head to let it come more directly in my ears.
• Nabadvipa Mandala Parikrama, 1994. Nine days in another world.
• Kartika in Gita-nagari, 1995. Divine austerity and Radha-Damodara’s mercy gives me a taste for the holy name.
• Maha-yajna, New Ekachakra Dhama, April 2000. Relief, affection, and devotion flood the dhama as the gods stop the rain to bring sunshine and auspiciousness.
• Kartika in Govardhana, 2000. Sleeping is considered dandavat-parikrama. Where else can one get such a boon in the ignorance of his day?

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Dhanurdhara Swami November 4th, 2000

Govardhana

?O Krsna-nama! You infuse life in Narada Muni’s vina, and the sweetness which flows from You is the personification of the essence of waves of nectar. Therefore, I pray that You always manifest on my tongue with transcendental rasa.? (Namastaka 8)

I am inspired here. I feel like I should make this month-long vrata a life’s program. Now I am 50 years of age. It’s time to get serious. Absorption in hearing and chanting elevates the consciousness. One becomes peaceful, and a small hankering for Krishna’s service, bhakti, becomes a reality. Why live any other way? This doesn’t mean stopping the preaching, but really preaching. It means giving up idleness and prajalpa and other obstacles to bhakti. It means to really absorb oneself in Srila Prabhupada’s mission, to purify oneself and give Krishna consciousness to others. What else to I have to do by Krishna’s grace? Otherwise, what is the meaning of sannyasa?

Increasing one’s chanting does not reduce the amount of time one has for other things. It does, however:

• create enthusiasm for spiritual life by making it more attractive and easier to do.
• force one to use his time carefully.
• help one to reduce one?s bodily necessities?eating and sleeping?by creating an enthusiasm for life, spiritual life.
• force others to approach one seriously and to respect one?s time.
• enable one to do his spiritual practices with concentration, efficiently and more quickly without sacrificing the quality of one?s practices.

With all that said, it would be difficult to maintain my vrata, because it is difficult to keep a rigorous vow for long periods of time before the mind becomes distracted or slackens. Once spiritual impetus is lost, a nama-vrata becomes a chore.

I am determined, however, to significantly increase my chanting and to maintain the schedule I have, with the exception of studying and writing during the day instead of chanting.

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