Often when Śrīla Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja Gosvāmī describes Śrī Caitanya’s feelings at the height of His devotion, he describes His intense anguish. Without skipping a beat, he then characterizes those same feelings of devotion as the highest ecstasy.
“In this way, Lord Caitanya used to revel in ecstasy day after day and exhibit these ecstasies before Svarūpa and Rāmānanda Rāya. Externally there appeared severe tribulation, as if He were suffering from poisonous effects, but internally He was experiencing bliss. This is characteristic of transcendental love of Kṛṣṇa.” — Śrīla Prabhupāda, Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Madhya-līlā 2.50
The simultaneous experience of intense suffering and bliss? If you are confused, don’t feel bad. We are told by Śrīla Kṛṣṇadāsa Kavirāja Gosvāmī that even those elevated in knowledge and devotion cannot comprehend these things.
“Śrī Caitanya Mahāprabhu’s emotion of transcendental madness in separation from Kṛṣṇa is very deep and mysterious. Even though one is very advanced and learned, he cannot understand it.” Antya-līlā 14.5
When teaching the Caitanya-caritāmṛta, I was therefore faced with a dilemma. If even those advanced and learned cannot understand Śrī Caitanya’s transcendental madness, then how could I explain it in a way that wasn’t totally confusing? Śrīla Prabhupāda, however, encourages us to try to come to at least a preliminary level of understanding.
“Unless one is a very highly advanced devotee, he cannot understand these intricate feelings. The author of Śrī Caitanya-caritāmṛta, however, has tried to explain this divyonmāda as far as possible, and it is our duty simply to appreciate it as far as possible.” — Śrīla Prabhupāda, Caitanya-caritāmṛta, Antya-līlā 14.37, purport
So, although I can’t hope to fully grasp these subjects now, I will try to appreciate these complex topics as far as possible by describing three ways in which suffering and happiness may coincide in this world.
In the experience of watching drama
The purpose of drama is to theatrically portray an all-consuming emotion (rasa) so that the audience experiences the same emotion. Thus, when a drama is successful, we experience the same feelings as the protagonists of the drama, whether those feelings are romantic, chivalrous or horrific, but in an uplifting way. Thus, regardless of the emotion, even when negative, we simultaneously enjoy the drama.
For example, if the drama portrays the negative experience of tragedy, we counterintuitively enjoy the drama. I think that’s a perfect example of the combination of opposing emotions that might offer somewhat of a reference to help us appreciate the juxtaposition of the anguish and ecstatic bliss in the spiritual world.
In the trials endured in devotion and love
I remember many times in my service to Śrīla Prabhupāda that I endured difficult austerity. But at the same moment I felt satisfaction and joy because I thought he would be pleased. Such harmony of opposing emotions in the acts of love and devotion is another way we can at least fathom a realm where the opposing emotions of suffering and bliss join.
In the accomplishment of work
I watched a very interesting lecture on happiness by Harvard Business School professor Arthur Brooks. In his studies on happiness, one of the main components is the sense of accomplishment in the struggle to complete some meaningful work. Often great athletes train vigorously but enjoy the sense of accomplishment even while undergoing pain. Again, when struggle is connected to some benefit there can be simultaneous pain and pleasure, so why not in the spiritual realm?
We can never fully fathom the juxtaposition of Śrī Caitanya’s intense agony of separation and the immeasurable bliss it engenders. My service as a teacher of bhakti philosophy impelled me, however, to make some sense of it by upamāna (analogy) as far as possible. I still must acknowledge, however, that unless we attain that spiritual realm it is impossible to fully grasp the height of Śrī Caitanya’s divine love.