I Just Can’t Stand Him![1]
Did a devotee ever get on your nerves? I can’t imagine how many people I rubbed the wrong way. Sure, some people are malicious, but conflict is just the way of the world even among the well-intentioned. So how to view genuine devotees who disturb us, even those who in the name of service have violated our rights and hurt us? Some insights:
The fault is not the whole person
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Unfortunately, if someone acts in a way that disturbs us, we tend to see only their faults. A Vaiṣṇava, however, never falls into the trap of seeing one’s fault as the whole person. More important is to appreciate the sincerity and service of those who have given their life to God.
Vaiṣṇavas are judged by their inspired side, not by their ordinary dealings
Vaiṣṇavas are born in different types of families and, in general, have varied natures. Vaiṣṇavas, however, are not solely their karmic nature. More importantly, they are conduits through which Krishna manifests in their words and actions. Despite their nature and dealings which may rub us the wrong way and may even force that person to act improperly, we judge them more by their devotion.
There are different types of Vaiṣṇavas
Different shapes of metal immersed in a fire become equally hot and effulgent but retain their unique shape at the same time. Similarly, devotees who attain perfection all become devotionally effulgent while still retaining their distinct nature. A Vaiṣṇava therefore appreciates all Vaiṣṇavas, not just those who are like-minded or part of the same clan.
A Vaiṣṇava does not judge one by the past, or even by the present, but by his future or potential
Śrī Krishna speaks about this in the ninth chapter of the Bhagavad-gītā where He teaches that if a devotee who is fixed in devotional service accidentally makes a horrible mistake, he should still be seen as saintly because he will soon become righteous. Therefore, having faith that the path of bhakti will quickly bear fruit, we should not overly harp on the mistakes of devotees, and certainly not their past.
I am past seventy-five now. I am feeling an increased urgency to deepen my Krishna consciousness. I realize that to chant the holy name purely, I need to transcend the petty dualities of favoritism and hate remaining in my heart, especially as it involves my perception of devotees.
“I just can’t stand him!” There is nothing, however, more harmful than the shadow of resentment for covering our souls from the rays of God’s love.
[1] This post is based on a previous post I made on July 12, 2021, https://wavesofdevotion.com/2021/07/12/the-four-ways-in-which-a-vaisnava-sees-those-whose-mistakes-disturb-them/. It is substantially edited.