October 12, 2003 – Karttika

October 12th, 2003


The five kutirs on the roof are gradually filling up as more devotees arrive. That such an ideal facility is not fully utilized simply confirms that ?you cannot just buy a train ticket to Vrndavana.? I?m just puzzled by what I?m doing here.

Japa Thoughts III
The world is not moving my way. It?s moving Krishna?s way. I should be happy about that, but it takes humility to accept that we are not the controller but the controlled. I?ve struggled trying to move the world my way my whole life. How frustrating! Not only does the world not move my way, but ultimately, life based on false ego will be wiped away by the waves of time.

I am praying to chant with humility, to be satisfied with Krishna?s will even when it moves against mine. The service mood is required?happiness with another?s will.

Japa Thoughts IV
When a hungry man eats, their hunger is reduced. The hunger of a devotee for devotional service, however, increases when they try to satisfy it by tasting the holy name. The symptom of spiritual advancement is thus humility?the mood that I am hungry for spiritual life, I am in need of the holy name, and that I have no devotion.

When we are not chanting, we may also feel we have no devotion, but that is not a symptom of spiritual consciousness. It is a fact. If we were actually hungry for the holy name, then we would still chant it, feeling void of devotion.

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