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Gita-nagari John Havlek came over

April 22nd, 2001

Gita-nagari

John Havlek came over this morning to the cabin where I am staying to invite me to visit his house on the way to the evening program at Kaisori Mataji’s. John’s house is one of my regular stops at Gita-nagari. He is a practical man with integrity and his wife, Damayanti, also has high ideals. They came to Gita-nagari about ten years ago with a practical plan to raise a family in Krishna consciousness?to take full responsibility for their own family and to not become overly dependent on the success of a particular Krishna consciousness community for its development.

It’s not that they aren?t community-minded. They are. And they do appreciate the importance of a community to raise a child. That’s why they moved to Gita-nagari ten years ago. It’s just that they are watchful of idealist expectations. If they wait for Gita-nagari, or any pioneering spiritual community, to fully provide their social, educational, and spiritual needs?which may or may not happen?aspects of their family development may suffer or be delayed. Also, in frustration, they may move from place to place and
never get settled.

John’s spirit of healthy self-reliance allowed his family to move to Gita-nagari to take advantage of the Deities and the devotees with the confidence that they wouldn’t be moving again. As a result they were able to immediately get on with their business of planning and settling their family.

John and his wife both found jobs as teachers. This has allowed them to buy land and build their house, but their plan is long range. By owning sufficient land, residing in a place with very low taxes and with no mortgage, rent, or utilities, and by living simply, they are hoping to gradually have increased time for a more natural and spiritual life. John’s house has developed a lot since I last visited. It has lots of windows and faces south to get the morning sun. It is also very well insulated, which makes it easy and cost-efficient to heat. He built the house himself. The wood floors cut from the timber on his property give their home a natural and peaceful ambiance. The house, by choice, has no electricity. For most people, that would be a difficult and unnecessary inconvenience, but for them, it would be more inconvenient to work the rest of their lives at meaningless jobs to pay off all the modern conveniences one can become overly reliant on. They do, however, have a phone.

When you walk in the house you can feel the special peacefulness of a non-electro/mechanistic living space, but the present lighting?propane night-lights?pose a fire hazard. They?ve decided, therefore, to opt for solar electricity. He showed me the new all-in-one cast iron stove?strongly and efficiently built?that cooks, heats the house, and pumps hot water into the bathroom. They also have a garden and a family cow.

Plenty of milk products, grains, and few overhead costs give them hopes for financial and occupational freedom in the future. In pursuance of this goal they plan for a possible little guesthouse, a summer camp for devotee children, and perhaps an herb business so they can easily maintain their minimal expenses working at home.

Not everyone could, or perhaps should, live that way, but one has to give them credit for a plan to rest control of their future from bondage to heavy expenses and meaningless work. It’s a trade-off?only a few less modern conveniences for a simple and saner life. As Damayanti told me, ?I’d rather go into the forest to collect firewood then drive twenty miles to work just to pay for it.? It’s worth a thought.

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Gita-nagari I arrive by car

April 21st, 2001

Gita-nagari

I arrive by car at Gita-nagari by noon. As I turn by the brahmacari ashram, a brahamcari pays his obeisances. I stop the car and roll down the window. Advaita Acarya, from Croatia, smiles, folds his hands, and offers a humble entreaty: ?Please take darshan of Radha-Damodara.? I usually go to the cabin first, not the temple, but through Advaita, I sense Radha-Damodara’s will. I feel blessed and unworthy.

When Radha-Govinda called me to Schermerhorn Street a few days ago, I think I made a mistake by only offering respects outside and not going inside. When a master calls his servant, the servant should immediately drop everything, no matter what they are doing, and see what their Lord needs?like the gopis who left their husbands, children and family as soon as they heard the calling of Krishna’s flute. When the Lord calls, His darshan should be one’s first priority. On to Damodara!

As I enter the new temple I am completely taken aback. I am immediately captured by the charm of Damodara and His quaint and tasteful temple. The rustic setting, the wood design. It’s madhurya, a sweetness that over shadows majesty and opulence. It’s simple, but it wouldn’t be any nicer if it were a palace of gold.

After greeting the Deities I am welcomed by Kaulini and Mangala-Arati. The brijabasis are here, too!

I have never experienced such a powerful sacred space outside of Vrindaban before as Sri Sri Radha-Damodara’s temple. It’s like walking into Vrindaban by just traveling a few hundred miles and opening a door in the forest. My conviction is reinforced. Outside of Vrindaban, there is no place so Vraja as Gita-nagari!

New York City My last

April 17th, 2001

New York City

My last entry ended on the ninth day of March. They were focused around Vrindaban and may even be put into one book. Jal Keli has already proposed a design and title: “Greetings from Vrindaban”. Today, then, is perhaps the beginning of a new set of journal entries that may also eventually be compiled together as a book. “Greetings from New York”?

Starting up again I am not sure if the entries will be daily. I have too much else to write, but the journal should be maintained.

John picked up a car for me yesterday. I was surprised when he called and told me that he purchased a 1998 Toyota Corolla with the few thousand dollars we managed to save. He actually threw in some of his own money to complete a down payment, and signed loan payments in his own name. I initially felt embarrassed, as a sannyasi, to have a newer car, but I suppose I can probably stand to renounce the six tows and practically monthly breakdowns I had over the last few years in the old one.

In Vrindaban, when the devotees who make Life Members get a new Tata Sumo?the top of the line Indian SUV?they drive it right in front of Srila Prabhupada’s samadhi. They then worship the car with an elaborate puja. When I saw it once, an eerie sacrilegious feeling came over me. ?This is not about service to God, but personal status. Is nothing sacred??

At five this morning I drove with my new car into New York to beat traffic on my way to stay at the ashram here. I took the Holland Tunnel to Canal East, but it forced me on the Manhattan Bridge to Brooklyn. I turned and turned trying to get back to Flatbush Avenue for the bridge to Manhattan, but mysteriously wound up on Schermerhorn Street driving right past the Sri Sri Radha Govinda Mandir. Slowing down, I folded my hands and bowed my head toward the wheel. Ironically, my new car is now also ceremonially offered in Krishna’s service.

A great danger for devotees in America is being co-opted by Madison Avenue as consumers. I’m amazed how even so-called alternate people and revolutionary types are taken on board the ship of commercialism and have to fashion themselves according to the dictates of the mass psychologists of advertising who tell them how to fill up their closets.

I remember being gifted a new Rolex watch in India and, shortly after, asking an old sadhu about his concept of yukta-vairagya, balanced detachment. He said, ?If you need a watch, then 100 rupees. That’s yukta-vairagya.? I snuck my right hand slowly behind my back in shame.

Of course, different types of people have different requirements of opulence for their service, social status, and general esteem, so there’s quite a wide range of lifestyle within the realm of balanced detachment. Consumerism is something different. It is the senseless collection of possessions, for collection and show itself, beyond any utility. What a waste!

A found a nice explanation of consumerism:

?Enjoyment of the material world? Isn’t that hedonism? ? A hedonist might consume the juice of five oranges as a prelude to a pancake breakfast. A frugal person, on the other hand, might relish eating a single orange, enjoying the color and texture of the whole fruit, the smell and light spray that comes as you begin to peel it, the translucence of each section, the flood of flavor that pours out as the section bursts over the tongue ? the thrift of saving the peels for baking.

?To be frugal means to have a higher joy-to-stuff ratio. If you get one unit of joy for each material possession, that’s frugal. But if you need 10 possessions to even begin registering on the joy meter, you’re missing the point of being alive.? ?from “Your Money or Your Life; Transforming Your Relationships With Money and Achieving Financial Independence? by Joe Dominquez and Vicki Robin

As I write this by my window overlooking East 4th Street, I can see my car. No! It is being ticketed for parking! Fifty-five dollars lost! I didn’t know that there were also times of the week that meter parking is also restricted, but ignorance is no excuse for the law, Prahlad Maharaja instructs us. Maya-sukhaya?for every step forward in material happiness, one takes two steps back.

Gaura Purnima I speak to

March 9th, 2001

Gaura Purnima

I speak to a few devotees in my room about the reason for Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s appearance focusing on the necessity for the Supreme Lord’s eternal manifestations as His own best devotee in terms of God’s ontological position as the Supreme Person.

I revise and finalize my mission statement for the New Year:

My service and mood should always be pleasing to my Lordships Sri Giriraja Maharaja and Sri Sri Radha-Shyamasundar by being an object of pleasure for Their dearmost servants, Srila Prabhupada and all of my siksa-gurus. For their pleasure, I should sincerely and devotionally execute:

  1. Strong sadhana
  2. Effective service to Srila Prabhupada’s mission
  3. Exemplary Vaishnava behavior

I. My SADHANA will please Srila Prabhupada and the Vaishnavas when I:

  • develop deep attachment to the holy name.
  • worship Sri Giriraja Maharaja with love and devotion.
  • serve the Vaishnavas with care and humility.
  • hear Srimad-Bhagavatam with sincere respect, rapt attention, clear understanding, and deep relish.
  • reside in Vraja as a Gosvami, detached and without offense (physically or in the mind).

II. I should please my spiritual masters by EFFECTIVE SERVICE TO SRILA PRABHUPADA’S MISSION, which is to:

  • set an example as an ideal sannyasi, following in the footsteps of the six Gosvamis; always chanting; kind to everyone; expert in scriptures; immersed in Gaura-Govinda lila; indifferent to sense gratification and absorbed in and attached to Vraja and its eternal residents.
  • to train others as Vaishnavas and followers of the six Gosvamis.
  • to thoroughly learn the Srimad-Bhagavatam and other bhakti-sastras to communicate them to others by lecturing, teaching, and writing.
  • to inspire competent devotees with a vision to spread Krishna consciousness and the means to actualize that vision.
  • to write my experiences and realizations in Krishna consciousness and share them with others.
  • to encourage, inspire, and support the development of a functional Vaishnava community among the devotees that I have trained in Krishna consciousness.

III. My VAISNAVA BEHAVIOR will be pleasing to Srila Prabhupada and the Vaishnavas when I am:

  • sincere; perform devotional for the pleasure of guru and Krishna without motive.
  • humble; do not act for desire or prestige.
  • compassionate; emphasize with the suffering of others and selflessly extend oneself to help them.
  • simple; to be satisfied with whatever Krishna provides to keep the body and soul together.
  • detached; be satisfied with Krishna?s will to the extent that I neither desire or give effort to change it, no matter how externally unpleasant the acceptance of his will is.
  • celibate; free from the eight types of sex life as described by Yajnavalka.
  • efficient; to not waste a moment in Krishna’s service.

Gaura Purnima officially begins the Vaishnava year. I hope to accelerate my spiritual advancement this year and make some pleasing offering of service to Srila Prabhupada. I would be na?ve, however, to not expect some difficulties. I reflect on the obstacles I?ve had to face in devotional service over the last few years and come upon a nice statement that succinctly sums up the theist approach to calamity:

?We cannot lose once we realize that everything that happens to us has been designed to teach us holiness.? (Holiness; Donald Nichols)

New Jersey The house here

March 7th, 2001

New Jersey

The house here has provided the quiet and facility needed for recovery, but I hanker for sadhu-sanga. Looking forward to moving to the Bhaktivedanta Ashram in New York tomorrow, but a doubt arises. Is New York City the best place for me to practice Krishna Consciousness while recovering from illness?

New Jersey I am feeling

March 6th, 2001

New Jersey

I am feeling slightly better. Read a little bit of Bhaktivinoda today:

?In fact, most readers are mere repositories of facts and statements made by other people. But this is not study. The student is to read the facts with a view to create, and not with the object of fruitless retention. Students like satellites should reflect whatever light they receive and not imprison the facts and thoughts just as the magistrates imprison convicts in the jail!? (The Bhagavat, It’s Philosophy, Ethics, and Theology)

New Jersey The question of

March 5th, 2001

New Jersey

The question of whether or not the journal could continue in the West came up since so much of it has been about the dynamics and excitement that seems to be unique to India. The real dynamic of the journal is realizing and seeing the philosophy of Krishna consciousness practically applied in the world. The advantage of writing it in India?especially the dhama?is that it is easier there to go deeply into Krishna consciousness here, but wherever one can to some degree contact his soul, his vision of the world is worth relating. I have no doubt the journal can continue here in the USA.

I wonder the value of what I can write now when my fever has increased and my sadhana has plummeted.

New Jersey Sick in the

March 3rd, 2001

New Jersey

Sick in the morning. I fast and don’t drink anything so I might have a chance to attend the program. I start the program lying on my side talking casually about my stay in the hospital. More people come and I sit up and absorb myself in kirtan. I’m basically focused on the chanting as I have so little energy for much else. I hardly remember what I spoke on, other than it was something from my journals and it was sincerely appreciated.

A good turnout?nearly fifty people. There is a sense of self-satisfaction as it is many of the people I have been helping in Krishna consciousness for years and I?ve seen how they have matured so nicely. Many of them have families now and the children are fairly Krishna conscious.

An observation: Although there used to be natural factions and cliques among the devotees, today everyone seems as one family with cordial and loving relations. It reminds me of the saying, ?They have enough religion to hate other religion, but not enough to love them.? It seems the devotees have matured and now have enough religion to transcend petty factionalism and extend themselves to everyone.

New Jersey Down again for

March 2nd, 2001

New Jersey

Down again for the day, but I feel determined to attend the program tomorrow.

Some inspiration from a New York Times I found lying around the house here:

?In his first service at St. Patrick’s Cathedral since returning from Rome, Edward M. Egan yesterday remembered the moments in the St Peters basilica just before Pope John Paul elevated him to cardinal.

?While the other 43 cardinal-designates were being led in a prayer on February 21, Cardinal Egan said, he ?didn’t listen.?

?I was reciting a little prayer of my own,? he said. ?I learned it in a darkened room in the Bronx,? from an elderly Franciscan priest in the 1970’s.

?Lord, please take over,? he said yesterday, repeating the prayer. ?Make my every word only what you would say. My every act only what you would do. Do not let me get in the way. I’m yours, totally yours.??

New Jersey More of the

March 1st, 2001

New Jersey

More of the same?sickness and sleep. I am taken aback when my mother comments, ?I’m surprised to see you so sick and grumpy. I consider you like a God, one who is above all this.? I have noticed over the years how by visiting her, my mother’s faith in spirituality?and even Krishna?has gradually increased and often she says things that surprise me. Anyway, I think if I was born blind, she would have named me Padma-locan?lotus-eyed one.

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