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Did Sri Caitanya Appear to Taste Spinach?

July 20th, 2004

Sri Vrindaban

There is a range for creative speculation in Krishna consciousness. We may conjecture how the conclusions of sastra are true. This scope gives more leeway for the expressions of rasa , the flavor of the Absolute Truth.

For example, when I was at the home of an aristocratic Bengali Vaisnava, the lady of the house responded to my heartfelt appreciation of the many delicious Bengali preparations at dinner, especially sak, by suddenly describing her own idea of why Sri Caitanya appeared. Her theory, whether literally true or not, definitely added some savor (rasa) to my understanding about Mahaprabhu?s appearance:

?God also liked the many varieties of Bengali Prasad. That?s why he appeared as Sri Caitanya.” Lord Krishna relished the simple sak (spinach) at the home of his devotee Vidura, over the royal fare offered by King Duryodhana. Yes, it?s right there in Mahabharat, ?sak?! Sri Krishna thought, ?Here in the North you seldom get such nice vegetable offerings like this tasty sak. Mostly we get only aloo gobhi (cauliflower and potatoes). In Bengal, however, so many varieties of succulent subji grow. I?m tired of just puris, rotis, a little subji and so many heavy sweets! Let me take birth there.?

Eating all those delectable subji?s I couldn?t agree with her more!

I added my own thought on the appearance of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, but inspired from a statement in sastra (Jaiva Dharma):

“The tenderness of the heart experienced towards Krishna is known as bhakti. All other jivas are servants of Krishna, and tenderness towards them is compassion (daya).” Jaiva Dharma p. 206

My idea on Sri Caitanya?s appearance was based on the above inspiration:

Radha and Krishna and Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu are the exact same original personality of Godhead, only Their mood is different. When the mood of madhurya (the sweetness in intimate relation) predominates, the original Godhead is known as Radha/Krishna. When audarya (magnanimity) predominates the same Godhead is called Sri Caitanya. These are the two original and full complementary manifestations of Godhead.

It should not be surprising that a change in mood can alter ones physical appearance. For instance?happiness makes one more beautiful. We become red with rage and pale with fright.

In the same way, the original personality of Godhead has two different appearances according to his frame of mind; Sri Caitanya when over-flowing with magnanimity; Radha/Krishna when overflowing with the sweetest intimate love .

As the mood of overflowing magnanimity marks the manifestation of Sri Caitanya, to understand the cause of His appearance we have to understand the cause of that magnanimity. As these transformations in mood are all of the same original personality of Godhead (svayam bhagavan) we must first clearly understand the meaning of svayam bhagavan to understand the cause of that magnanimity.

Svayam bhagavan means God when God is most Himself. One is most oneself when one?s heart is fully open in reciprocation to the most intimate and intense love. Such love also needs the encouragement of the most intimate setting. Svayam Bhagavan is thus Sri Krishna, God at home in Sri Vrindaban, wholly reciprocating the perfect love of the Brijbasi?s, his most intimate associates, by opening his heart and giving Himself fully to them.

One?s heart cannot remain open, however, if marred by selfishness. God at the acme of His open heart (svayam bhagavan) must thus also have compassion for those suffering bereft of that love. Even a tinge of callousness closes the heart to perfect love. Svayam Bhagavan must therefore be the giver of love to remain the enjoyer of love. Sri Caitanya is thus Sri Krishna when out of compassion He reflects on those bereft of that love. And Navadvipa is that same Vrindaban transformed to facilitate that overflowing grace.

In conclusion, magnanimity (audarya) is the cause of Sri Caitanya, not in the sense that it precedes His being, in the sense that it is the very essence and mood of His being.

Magnanimity, the cause of Sri Caitanya, also tells us something very important about attaining love of God:

As pure love leads to pure compassion, since it is the same tender heart towards Krishna just reflected to the living entities, pure compassion also helps bring us to pure love, as it is the same tender heart towards the living entities just reflected back to Krishna. Embracing the mood of Lord Caitanya, by serving his mission of sacrifice and compassion, thus naturally prepares one to become a resident of Vrindaban, as it cultivates the heart of a Brijabasi, one of tenderness and sacrifice. Simply put, the giver of love is well suited to become the enjoyer of that love.

All our great teachers thus inform us that Daya (compassion) gives us special access to Bhakti (pure love).

?When one dives deeply into the ocean of Gaura-prema, and swims in the waves that ocean, one immediately becomes one of the confidential associates of Radha and Krishna. (Srila Narottama das Thakur)

?Showing compassion to the living entities by giving them the holy name of Krishna is the essence of all religion.? (Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur)

?Preaching is the essence? (Srila Bhaktivedanta Swami)

Conclusion: There is certainly flavor in the appearance of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu!

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Japa Thoughts 2004

June 8th, 2004

Princeton, New Jersey

I tried to chant with concentration. As my attention became more focused, I tried to understand how the holy name is not merely akash (material sound produced by air), but Krishna Himself.

Like all endeavors, chanting the holy name should begin with thought and proceed to desire and will. In other words, we think of the spiritual master’s order to chant, we desire to chant, we move our lips, and a sound is produced. Although chanting the holy name appears to go through the same process, the holy name actually descends. It is not mechanically produced because it is not material. How?

Without resolving the subtleties of this quandary, I approached the problem of the non-mechanistic appearance of the holy name in a practical way to increase the quality of my chanting: I focused on my desire to chant. I prayed for the pure name to descend. I desired to be attentive and to pronounce clearly, begging for sincerity. More and more, I saw the holy name as reciprocation with my desire, rather than a product of mechanized endeavor.

In other words, while listening to my chanting, I intensely focused on my core desire to be a good chanter-as if my connection to the appearance of the holy name was my desire for it and not my physical ability to produce it. Chanting in this way gave more of a feel for the holy name as a divine manifestation of mercy instead of an ordinary product of my works. And finally, as that which comes by mercy evokes our love and our heart naturally flows to that which we love, my attentiveness also increased.

Windows To The Material World

May 27th, 2004

Vasant Falls, New York

I just finished assembling my journals into book form for a final edit. The book will be called Greetings from Vrndavana. I’m looking forward to writing new journal entries after a long intermission.

Fortunately, I finished the work before my computer crashed. I knew it was on the blink, but I dreaded the day when it needed to be sent for repair. Leaving the shop on my way home, however, I felt a surprising relief, a sense of liberation. Even though I use the computer almost exclusively for my writing and correspondence, it felt as if some shackle of illusion had been lifted.

I vaguely remember a popular book from my college days called The Medium is the Massage by Marshal McLuhan. His point was that the medium in which one receives information has a greater influence than the message it conveys. I recall him describing television as a cold medium because one generally learns passively from it. In contrast, he described the press as a hot medium because we have to activate our intellect in order to assimilate what we’ve read. McLuhan concluded that cold mediums. like television, make one lazy and dull the intelligence, while hot mediums have the opposite effect, regardless of the content one receives from either.

I am convinced that, like television, the medium of the computer also has insidious effects because it subtly injects one with the need for incessant distraction-an especially menacing prospect for those on a spiritual path where the mind needs to be calmed to touch one’s essence.

I lived in Vrndavana for 20 years without even a phone. I didn’t die of boredom; instead, I remained absorbed in scripture, nama, and seva. To be peaceful now, I require the world at my doorstep with the click of a button, even while living in Vrndavana. Something is wrong.

According to the Svetasvatara Upanisad, God sits within our heart to observe and advise us in the form of the paramatma, the Supersoul. It describes this by the analogy of two birds in a tree: one bird is eating the fruits of happiness and distress, while the other is watching, waiting for his friend to turn to him. The observant bird is compared to the Supersoul and the engrossed bird is compared to the individual living entity. The idea is that as long as we are externally absorbed in the chatter of the mind, we cannot hear the voice of God in the heart directing us.

Riding home, unshackled from my computer, it suddenly hit me how the medium of mass communication so strongly allures us to the platform of the mind, and how the effect is so pervasive that we usually mistake our bondage for normal life. I felt cheated of my innocence, a life unfettered by the unremitting dialogue of the mind that affords one the quietude to turn toward the Lord in the heart. Sadly we have been drawn in droves to the life of the engrossed bird. Perhaps it is more like lemmings to the sea.

Just to the right of the foot of Srila Prabhupada’s bed in Vrndavana hangs two beautiful paintings: one of Krishna and the cowherd boys returning home from the forest of Vrndavana, the other of Radha and Krishna by the bank of the Yamuna under a kadamba tree. Srila Prabhupada called such paintings of Krishna “windows to the spiritual world.” In my early Vrndavana days, I would gaze at these masterpieces during japa and think of Srila Prabhupada’s “windows” analogy. It made so much sense. Today I thought of another “windows” analogy, and unfortunately, it made just as much sense: Computers are the windows to the material world.

Lessons From The CC: Antya-lila

April 10th, 2004

Lessons From The CC: Antya-lila Ch. 9

Lesson 1: In the midst of danger, one should fearlessly take shelter of the holy name.

Gopinatha Pattanayaka was arrested and sentenced to death for a misappropriation of the King?s taxes. His brother Vaninatha was also subsequently arrested. When Sri Caitanya inquired about what Vaninatha was doing after his arrest, he received the following reply:

?The messenger replied, ?He was fearlessly, incessantly chanting the maha-mantra?Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare / Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.?? (Cc. Antya 9.56)

Lesson 2: One should not unnecessarily bring their social problems to a person who has dedicated himself to chanting and distributing the holy name of Krishna.

Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu?s reaction after being asked, on four separate occasions, to intercede on behalf of his pure devotee, Gopinatha Pattanakaya, who was arrested and sentenced to be executed:

??I cannot stay here any longer,? the Lord said. ?I shall go to Alalanatha. There are too many disturbances here, and I cannot get any rest.?? (Cc. Antya 9.60)

??As a beggar sannyasi, a mendicant, I wish to live alone in a solitary place, but these people come to tell Me about their unhappiness and disturb Me.?? (Cc. Antya 9.64)

Lesson 3: If a devotee purposefully commits the same offense again and again, they should not necessarily expect protection from God.

Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu?s comment after hearing the good news that Gopinatha Pattanakaya was saved from execution by the fervent prayers of the devotees to Lord Jagannatha:

?Jagannatha has saved him once from death today, but if tomorrow he again does not pay what he owes the treasury, who will give him protection??? (Cc. Antya 9.65)

Lesson 4: One should not approach the Lord with mundane demands.

Seeing that Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is disturbed by the incessant demand of His devotees to intercede on behalf of Gopinatha Pattanayaka, even though he broke the law, Kasi Misra assures Him that His pure devotees approach without personal motive only for His satisfaction.

?Kasi Misra continued, ?If one engages in devotional service for Your satisfaction, this will result in his increasingly awakening his dormant love for You. But if one engages in Your devotional service for material purposes, he should be considered a number-one fool.?? (Cc. Antya 9.69)

Lesson 5: Although it is not proper for a devotee to ask the Lord for his own personal happiness and distress, one can pray to the Lord to protect His surrendered souls.

A surrendered soul does not approach the Lord for material things.
?It is not Gopinatha who sent all those men so that You would release him from his plight. Rather, his friends and servants, seeing his distressed condition, informed You because they all knew that Gopinatha is a soul surrendered unto You.? (Cc. Antya 9.74)

Lessons From The CC: Antya-lila Ch. 10

Lesson 1: One should seek the association of pure devotees at all costs, even at the risk of defying the order of the Lord or His devotees.

?Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu had ordered Lord Nityananda to stay in Bengal, but nevertheless, because of ecstatic love, Lord Nityananda also went to see Him. Indeed, it is a symptom of real affection that one breaks the order of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, not caring for the regulative principles, to associate with Him. During the rasa dance, Krishna asked all the gopis to return home, but they neglected His order and stayed there for His association. If one carries out Krishna?s order, Krishna is certainly pleased, but if one sometimes breaks His order due to ecstatic love, that gives Him millions of times greater happiness.? (Cc. Antya 10.5-8)

The highest love is executed out of pure affection, not obligation or duty. Therefore, it cannot be checked by stricture or rules. If one is not on the level of spontaneous love, however, one should strictly guide his devotion by guru, sadhu, and sastra.

Lesson 2: The ultimate value of everything, even delicious foodstuff, lies in the love with which it is offered.

Raghava Pandita was famous for bringing Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu bags of delectable foodstuffs cooked by his sister Damayanti. Out of affection, he also prepared very bitter preparations for medicinal use, fearing that the Lord would overeat and get indigestion. Krishna dasa Kaviraja thus instructs the reader that the ultimate value lies in love and not simply material objects:

?Do not neglect sukuta because it is a bitter preparation. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu derived more happiness from eating this sukuta than from drinking pancamrta [a preparation of milk, sugar, ghee, honey, and yogurt]. Since Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, He extracts the purpose from everything. He accepted Damayanti?s affection for Him, and therefore He derived great pleasure even from the dried bitter leaves of sukuta and from kasandi [a sour condiment].? (Cc. Antya 10.17-18)

?A dear lover strung a garland and placed it on the shoulder of his beloved in the presence of her co-wives. She had raised breasts and was very beautiful, yet although the garland was tainted with mud, she did not reject it, for its value lay not in material things but in love.? (Cc. Antya 10.21)

Lesson 3: Impelled by love, a Vaisnava does his service with great care and attention.

Krishna dasa Kaviraja describes the care in which Damayanti packed the eatables for the Lord:

?She then wrapped and sealed each and every bag with great attention. The bags were carried by three bearers, one after another.? (Cc. Antya 10.38)

Lesson 4: One should offer observable affection upon meeting one?s loved ones.

The mutual exchange between the Lord and his devotees upon their arrival in Puri from Bengal:

?All the devotees immediately fell at the lotus feet of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, and the Lord lifted and embraced every one of them.? (Cc. Antya 10.45)

Lesson 5: For the service of the Lord or His devotees, one can even risk transgressing standard Vaisnava etiquette. For one?s personal service, a risk of committing even the slightest offense should be avoided.

After a vigorous kirtana and a sumptuous meal, an exhausted Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu collapsed in front of the door to his room. In order to massage the Lord properly, His servant Govinda had to step over Mahaprabhu?s body?normally a grievous offense to one?s guru. He did not, however, cross back over the Lord?s body to take the meal that was lying outside the room for him. When Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu asked him why this was so, Govinda replied, ?I would not mind committing hundreds and thousands of offenses for the service of the Lord, but I greatly fear committing even a glimpse of an offense for my own self.? (Cc. Antya 10.96)

Lesson 6: One should not eat more than required. Otherwise, the mind will be disturbed.

?Because of Sivananda Sena?s glories, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu ate all kinds of prasadam to honor his request. However, the Lord ate more than necessary, and therefore His mind was dissatisfied.? (Cc. Antya 10.147)

Lesson 7: One should cook according to the desire and needs of one?s guests.

?The next day, Caitanya dasa, the son of Sivananda Sena, extended an invitation to the Lord. He could understand the Lord?s mind, however, and therefore he arranged for a different kind of food. He offered yogurt, limes, ginger, soft bada, and salt. Seeing all these arrangements, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was very pleased.? (Cc. Antya 10.148-49)

PURPORT

By the grace of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Caitanya dasa understood the Lord?s mind. Therefore he arranged for food that would counteract the heavy meal the Lord had eaten the previous day?

Lessons From The CC: Antya-lila

April 1st, 2004

Lessons From The CC: Antya-lila Ch. 4

Lesson 1: One attracts the mercy and friendship of great souls with good qualities.

?Sanatana Gosvami was dear to everyone because of his exalted qualities and learning. Suitably, therefore, they bestowed upon him mercy, friendship, and honor.? (Cc. Antya 4.112)

Lesson 2: One should not instruct one?s senior.

Sri Caitanya Mahaprabu?s reaction when he was told by Sanatana Gosvami that Jagadananda Pandit had advised Sanatana Gosvami, his senior, to go to Vrndavana:

?In affairs of spiritual advancement and even in ordinary dealings, you are on the level of his spiritual master. Yet not knowing his own value, he dares to advise you.? (Cc. Antya 4.159)

Lesson 3: Chastisement by a well-wisher often indicates the intimacy of the relationship, for only out of affection can such liberties in dealings be taken.

Sanatana Gosvami?s reaction after Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu told him how upset he was with Jagadananda Pandit?s impudence for advising the Gosvami:

?Sir, You are making Jagadananda drink the nectar of affectionate relationships, whereas by offering me honorable prayers, You are making me drink the bitter juice of nimba and nisinda.? (Cc. Antya 4.163)

Lesson 4: A cultured person cannot tolerate transgressions of etiquette.

?My dear Sanatana, please do not think that Jagadananda is more dear to Me than you. However, I cannot tolerate transgressions of the standard etiquette.? (Cc. Antya 4.166)

Lesson 5: An elevated Vaisnava never thinks themselves advanced in spiritual life.

Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu?s response to Srila Sanatana Gosvami?s expressions of intense humility in reaction to His praise:

?Wherever there is a relationship of love of Godhead, the natural symptoms are that the devotee does not think himself a devotee, but always thinks that he has not even a drop of love for Krishna.? (Cc. Antya 4.174)

Lesson 6: We should consider the body of a devotee fully surrendered to his spiritual master to be transcendental.

Although Sanatana Gosvami?s body was seriously diseased, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu embraced him. When Sanatana Gosvami objected, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu argued that because he is surrendered to the Lord, his body is no longer material:

?At the time of initiation, when a devotee fully surrenders unto the service of the Lord, Krishna accepts him to be as good as Himself.? (Cc. Antya 4.192)

Lesson 7: A devotee who is mature in Krishna consciousness spontaneously desires to see all the places of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu?s pastimes.

?Sanatana Gosvami decided to go to Vrndavana by the very forest path Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu had traversed.? (Cc. Antya 4.209)

PURPORT

Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakur writes in a song (Saranagati 31.3):

gaura amara ye saba sthane
karala bhramana range
se-saba sthana heriba ami
pranayi bhakata-sange

?May I visit all the holy places associated with the lilas of Lord Caitanya and His devotees.? A devotee should make a point of visiting all the places where Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu performed His pastimes. Indeed, pure devotees of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu even want to see the places He visited for only hours or minutes.

Lesson 8: A devotee is dutiful to his social responsibilities so that he may practice Krishna consciousness without anxiety.

?Srila Rupa Gosvami had been delayed in Bengal for a year because he was dividing his money among his relatives to situate them in their proper positions.? (Cc. Antya 2.214)

PURPORT

Although Srila Rupa Gosvami had renounced his family life, he was not unjust to his family members. Even after renunciation, he returned to Bengal, where he properly divided whatever money he had and gave it to his relatives so that they would not be inconvenienced.

?He collected whatever money he had accumulated in Bengal and divided it among his relatives, the brahmanas, and the temples. Thus after finishing all the tasks he had on his mind, he returned to Vrndavana fully satisfied. (Cc. Antya 4.215-216)

April 10, 2004

Lessons From The CC: Antya-lila Ch. 9

Lesson 1: In the midst of danger, one should fearlessly take shelter of the holy name.

Gopinatha Pattanayaka was arrested and sentenced to death for a misappropriation of the King?s taxes. His brother Vaninatha was also subsequently arrested. When Sri Caitanya inquired about what Vaninatha was doing after his arrest, he received the following reply:

?The messenger replied, ?He was fearlessly, incessantly chanting the maha-mantra?Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare / Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare.?? (Cc. Antya 9.56)

Lesson 2: One should not unnecessarily bring their social problems to a person who has dedicated himself to chanting and distributing the holy name of Krishna.

Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu?s reaction after being asked, on four separate occasions, to intercede on behalf of his pure devotee, Gopinatha Pattanakaya, who was arrested and sentenced to be executed:

??I cannot stay here any longer,? the Lord said. ?I shall go to Alalanatha. There are too many disturbances here, and I cannot get any rest.?? (Cc. Antya 9.60)

??As a beggar sannyasi, a mendicant, I wish to live alone in a solitary place, but these people come to tell Me about their unhappiness and disturb Me.?? (Cc. Antya 9.64)

Lesson 3: If a devotee purposefully commits the same offense again and again, they should not necessarily expect protection from God.

Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu?s comment after hearing the good news that Gopinatha Pattanakaya was saved from execution by the fervent prayers of the devotees to Lord Jagannatha:

?Jagannatha has saved him once from death today, but if tomorrow he again does not pay what he owes the treasury, who will give him protection??? (Cc. Antya 9.65)

Lesson 4: One should not approach the Lord with mundane demands.

Seeing that Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is disturbed by the incessant demand of His devotees to intercede on behalf of Gopinatha Pattanayaka, even though he broke the law, Kasi Misra assures Him that His pure devotees approach without personal motive only for His satisfaction.

?Kasi Misra continued, ?If one engages in devotional service for Your satisfaction, this will result in his increasingly awakening his dormant love for You. But if one engages in Your devotional service for material purposes, he should be considered a number-one fool.?? (Cc. Antya 9.69)

Lesson 5: Although it is not proper for a devotee to ask the Lord for his own personal happiness and distress, one can pray to the Lord to protect His surrendered souls.

A surrendered soul does not approach the Lord for material things.
?It is not Gopinatha who sent all those men so that You would release him from his plight. Rather, his friends and servants, seeing his distressed condition, informed You because they all knew that Gopinatha is a soul surrendered unto You.? (Cc. Antya 9.74)

Lessons From The CC: Antya-lila Ch. 10

Lesson 1: One should seek the association of pure devotees at all costs, even at the risk of defying the order of the Lord or His devotees.

?Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu had ordered Lord Nityananda to stay in Bengal, but nevertheless, because of ecstatic love, Lord Nityananda also went to see Him. Indeed, it is a symptom of real affection that one breaks the order of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, not caring for the regulative principles, to associate with Him. During the rasa dance, Krishna asked all the gopis to return home, but they neglected His order and stayed there for His association. If one carries out Krishna?s order, Krishna is certainly pleased, but if one sometimes breaks His order due to ecstatic love, that gives Him millions of times greater happiness.? (Cc. Antya 10.5-8)

The highest love is executed out of pure affection, not obligation or duty. Therefore, it cannot be checked by stricture or rules. If one is not on the level of spontaneous love, however, one should strictly guide his devotion by guru, sadhu, and sastra.

Lesson 2: The ultimate value of everything, even delicious foodstuff, lies in the love with which it is offered.

Raghava Pandita was famous for bringing Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu bags of delectable foodstuffs cooked by his sister Damayanti. Out of affection, he also prepared very bitter preparations for medicinal use, fearing that the Lord would overeat and get indigestion. Krishna dasa Kaviraja thus instructs the reader that the ultimate value lies in love and not simply material objects:

?Do not neglect sukuta because it is a bitter preparation. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu derived more happiness from eating this sukuta than from drinking pancamrta [a preparation of milk, sugar, ghee, honey, and yogurt]. Since Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, He extracts the purpose from everything. He accepted Damayanti?s affection for Him, and therefore He derived great pleasure even from the dried bitter leaves of sukuta and from kasandi [a sour condiment].? (Cc. Antya 10.17-18)

?A dear lover strung a garland and placed it on the shoulder of his beloved in the presence of her co-wives. She had raised breasts and was very beautiful, yet although the garland was tainted with mud, she did not reject it, for its value lay not in material things but in love.? (Cc. Antya 10.21)

Lesson 3: Impelled by love, a Vaisnava does his service with great care and attention.

Krishna dasa Kaviraja describes the care in which Damayanti packed the eatables for the Lord:

?She then wrapped and sealed each and every bag with great attention. The bags were carried by three bearers, one after another.? (Cc. Antya 10.38)

Lesson 4: One should offer observable affection upon meeting one?s loved ones.

The mutual exchange between the Lord and his devotees upon their arrival in Puri from Bengal:

?All the devotees immediately fell at the lotus feet of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, and the Lord lifted and embraced every one of them.? (Cc. Antya 10.45)

Lesson 5: For the service of the Lord or His devotees, one can even risk transgressing standard Vaisnava etiquette. For one?s personal service, a risk of committing even the slightest offense should be avoided.

After a vigorous kirtana and a sumptuous meal, an exhausted Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu collapsed in front of the door to his room. In order to massage the Lord properly, His servant Govinda had to step over Mahaprabhu?s body?normally a grievous offense to one?s guru. He did not, however, cross back over the Lord?s body to take the meal that was lying outside the room for him. When Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu asked him why this was so, Govinda replied, ?I would not mind committing hundreds and thousands of offenses for the service of the Lord, but I greatly fear committing even a glimpse of an offense for my own self.? (Cc. Antya 10.96)

Lesson 6: One should not eat more than required. Otherwise, the mind will be disturbed.

?Because of Sivananda Sena?s glories, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu ate all kinds of prasadam to honor his request. However, the Lord ate more than necessary, and therefore His mind was dissatisfied.? (Cc. Antya 10.147)

Lesson 7: One should cook according to the desire and needs of one?s guests.

?The next day, Caitanya dasa, the son of Sivananda Sena, extended an invitation to the Lord. He could understand the Lord?s mind, however, and therefore he arranged for a different kind of food. He offered yogurt, limes, ginger, soft bada, and salt. Seeing all these arrangements, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was very pleased.? (Cc. Antya 10.148-49)

PURPORT

By the grace of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Caitanya dasa understood the Lord?s mind. Therefore he arranged for food that would counteract the heavy meal the Lord had eaten the previous day?

In-Flight: Delhi to JFK Twilight

March 3rd, 2004

In-Flight: Delhi to JFK

Twilight Zone

An older lady, about 60 years old, sits next to me. She inquires politely about my path. I explain Hare Krishna.

I mark that she has an uncanny resemblance to the German wife of a friend in Vrndavana?an older Indian gentleman who worked with me in the gurukula.

The lady asks advice. She is a yoga teacher in her native Stuttgart, Germany, and has just spent two months studying yoga at the Sivananda Asrama in Hrisikesh. She is now contemplating retiring. Should she retire to India? She doubts that a German lady could tolerate a women?s role in their monkish asrama or the poverty and disorder she?d see outside its gates. I politely respond. The conversation ends.

I couldn?t help but notice how exact the resemblance of this lady was to my friend?s wife, even down to her smile and manner of speech. And both come from Stuttgart!

As I shuffle down the crowded aisle to disembark, I hear her polite voice behind me. ?Swamiji, what is your name??

?Dhanurdhara Swami,? I turn and reply.

?Oh. Mine is Yasoda,? she responds.

That?s my friend?s wife?s name! I want to shout in disbelief, but manage to keep the curious coincidence to myself.

Suddenly I hear Rod Serling?s spine-chilling voice?You are now entering the twilight zone!?followed by the eerie theme song to his show. His TV science fiction thriller was a favorite of our youth for its intriguing paranormal stories. I guess my chance meeting with Yasoda invoked my forgotten memory of The Twilight Zone, since it had some of the bizarre components of a typical episode.

My mind continues to race: What does this coincidence mean? Is there a message here? Is Krishna telling me something? Could it have anything to do with the fact that my friend and his German wife have been deeply on my mind since I left Vrndavana yesterday?

Over 25 years ago, my friend gave up a successful engineering business in Germany to join ISKCON-Zurich. A few years later he brought his wife and younger children to settle in Vrndavana. They haven?t left since, although their children have long settled in the West.

My friend, however, is now in his seventies. He requires medical attention and personal care for himself and his wife. On their son?s request, they are returning to Europe under their care?forced to sadly acknowledge that they will never see Vrndavana again.

On my final day in Vrndavana I went to see them. We both realized that it would be our last meeting. Just the thought of a dedicated devotee never seeing Vrndavana again in this lifetime disturbed me. More upsetting, however, was that it was a final goodbye to a friend. It hurt. It was a painful reminder of the temporality of our worldly relationships, reminders that hit me more as I advance in age.

As I walk toward the exit I continue to try to make sense of it all:

Okay. I was thinking of my friend, but this meeting with the replica Yasoda is not just a product of my mind. I can see her. She?s right behind me. What does this mean? Why is it happening?

I continue: Could it be that Krishna arranged all of this for this story to be written, that a special message lurks here? But what is that message? Don?t leave Vrndavana at any cost? Be practical in spiritual life even if it means leaving Vrndavana? The shocking temporality and tragedy of this world, where we see friends for the last time?a world where everyone we love will someday be gone?

I make the final turn to the exit and pass the last have-a-nice-day stewardess, but my mind is still reeling. Perhaps the message is that you?re such a neophyte that, even after 30 years of rigid Krishna consciousness practice, The Twilight Zone is still in your brain. As I step off the plane into New York, I again absurdly hear the show?s theme music?dun dun dun dun; dun dun dun dun ?and come to a conclusion.

This episode of the traveling swami will hopefully end one day with the sonorous voice of my dear friend Krishna gently awakening me from the nightmare that I am anything other than His servant.

Vrndavana Writing means regulation. I

February 12th, 2004

Vrndavana

Writing means regulation. I haven?t had that in a while. Since leaving for the U.S. for a short preaching tour in mid-November and returning in mid-December, I?ve been on the go. My pilgrimage tour is technically two weeks long, but I?ve been taking devotees out on parikrama since I?ve come back to India. I will go out again tomorrow, this time to Nandagram. I am not unhappy about this. I like to do it. I just regret that I haven?t been able to adequately service the growing readership of my journals?many of whom cannot come to Vrndavana and see these journals, in some way, as their connection to the dhama.

I should, however, begin my regular schedule soon, since tomorrow looks like the last group outing until I return to the U.S. on March 3rd.

A few months ago, on September 21, I sent out a journal entry called ?When Vrndavana Turned Into New York,? where I expressed my disappointment in seeing Vrndavana sadhus with cell phones. I am forwarding you a picture that was recently sent to me by Pyari Mohan Prabhu to accompany that article and illustrate my dismay, and to begin what will hopefully be regular journal entries from the dhama. You?ll hear from me soon.

Sadhu With Cell Phone

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October 30-November 5, 2003 – Karttika

November 5th, 2003

Govardhana

Surviving Karttika

Karttika can be quite intense in Vrndavana, especially after Govardhana-puja. The sheer number of pilgrims alone is a distraction to the solitary life of chanting because the multitude of visiting devotees naturally creates a social environment?the antithesis of what I need to remain focused. I feel protected in the Bhaktivedanta Sadhana Asrama.

Varsana Impressions

Bhurijana Prabhu asked Radha Govinda Swami how he prepares for his Bhagavatam kathas.

?I don?t,? Maharaja replied. ?I just relish.?

Bhurijana appreciated his answer. To understand and communicate spiritual truths, one must live and taste them.

Similarly, to understand the blessed truth of Srimati Radharani it helps to appropriately visit Varsana?especially the secluded garhavan, the sacred forest she personally planted at the foot of Man Kutir.

We start our pilgrimage with the Varsana parikrama, a short walk on soft sands and simple paths through her small village, seemingly protected from the apparent invasion of modern life. My thoughts while walking: Because Srimati Radharani is the embodiment of compassion, her village still embodies simplicity and sweetness by Her mercy.

Govardhana-Puja

In the same way that one reveals oneself to another according to the intimacy of their relationship, Krishna manifests His inner-self to His devotees according their closeness with Him. Govardhana provides the most secluded and stunning setting to facilitate the most confidential and loving exchanges between the Lord and His devotees. It is the place where God can be most Himself and is therefore His topmost residence.

??And superior to the forest of Vrndavana is Govardhana Hill, for it was raised by the divine hand of Sri Krishna and was the site of His various loving pastimes?.?

Srila Prabhupada?s Disappearance Festival

I joined Kesava Bharati Goswami and Gopiparanadhana Prabhu for an intimate observance at ISKCON Govardhana. I made the point that, normally, anyone residing in Vrndavana should almost feel guilty to honor the disappearance festival for Srila Prabhupada at any other place than the place of his sacred samadhi?except when one honors that sacred day at Govardhana. I explained this further.

One?s innermost desires often become revealed when facing death. I was in the room when Srila Prabhupada startled his disciples by ordering us to make arrangements for all the devotees to accompany him to Govardhana by padayatra. His doctor, however, warned us that, for Srila Prabhupada, undergoing such an arduous journey in his condition was tantamount to suicide. It consequently never took place. We can be certain, however, that Srila Prabhupada?s last and deepest desire was fulfilled and that he eternally resides in Govardhana, for Krishna is bound by the wishes of those with pure love for Him. I thus concluded that although Srila Prabhupada left this world in Vrndavana, it is just as significant to honor his disappearance day at Govardhana.

Akincana Krishna dasa went to Vrndavana for the festival and gave me a summary of some of the offerings there. Here are two that struck me:

Guru Kripa Prabhu told a story about how Srila Prabhupada called and challenged him by asking, ?Why aren?t you a paramahamsa?!?

When Bhurijana Prabhu spoke, he referred to Guru Kripa?s offering and sincerely lamented how much he missed Srila Prabhupada?s pressure in his life to become a paramahamsa, to push him forward in his spiritual life.

Jayadvaita Swami spoke about how everything is in Srila Prabhupada?s books and that no matter how much you learn from them, they will always be ahead of you?just like no matter how much Mother Yasoda tied Krishna with rope, she was always two inches too short.

The feast there to honor Srila Prabhupada was especially wonderful. ISKCON fed nearly 5,000 of its members. I was told by many people that the Chowpatty brahmacaris did such an expert job of organizing and serving the feast that all the devotees felt as if they were among just a few being hosted. How wonderful!

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October 23-October 29, 2003 – Karttika

October 29th, 2003

Govardhana

Final Karttika Japa Thoughts

In the evening, I chant while walking on the roof outside my room, gazing at Giriraja. A thought came to me: I look forward to and relish my evening chanting now, but at other times of the year even a few rounds in the evening can be a chore. What am I doing this month that makes the holy name so alive?

The answer came quickly in terms of the core moods and conceptions that I have purposely focused on in Karttika to increase my relish of the holy name:

1. A stable mind: I planned to organize my chanting at times of the day when the mind is especially stable. That usually means in the early morning before the passion of the day starts. At Govardhana, however, the passion of the day never starts.
2. Respect: Offenses distance us from the pure name?especially the offense of sadhu-ninda, the criticism of devotees. I have vowed to vigilantly avoid criticism of devotees, even in jest. Avoiding sadhu-ninda helps to reveal the holy name.
3. Avoiding things unfavorable to bhakti: I must strictly stick to my schedule for writing, studies, and correspondence or they just won?t get done, since the rest of my time is for scheduled chanting. I am, therefore, too busy for frivolous talk and other things unfavorable to devotion. By avoiding those things that impede bhakti, devotion grows without impediment.
4. Saranagata (surrender): I?ve made a conscious decision to accept God?s will in the form of my destiny unconditionally, thus helping me to see my position. I am not the controller of destiny, but a humble servant of my fate. Humility is the foundation of devotion.
5. Guru-nistha (Fixedness in the service of the spiritual master): Devotional activities, even chanting, bear proper fruit only when done for the pleasure of the spiritual master. I?ve renewed my dedication to Srila Prabhupada?s mission. I have no independent life. My residence here and the nature of my spiritual practices are under his direction and solely for his pleasure. That confidence, which is his mercy, enthuses my practices. Guru-nistha is the core devotional sentiment that sustains devotion.

What I Accomplished Here: Not Much

Spiritual life means surrender?to never be independent of guru and Krishna. It can be done in retired life or it can be done in married life, although the activities of that surrender may vary. The main thing is to always do one?s duty and avoid offenses. I don?t work, have a family, manage anything, or even have pressing service like extensive preaching tours or books to edit. What else is there for me to do but chant? If I don?t, I am being independent of guru and Krishna?an un-surrendered soul.

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October 22, 2003 – Karttika

October 22nd, 2003

Govardhana

I realized that I may not be able to keep up a daily Karttika Journal. Writing takes time, and I just don?t have that time this month. I also don?t want my writing to be forced, writing something because I must, rather then because I have something to say. I am mostly alone in my room for the day – then what to write about? – especially as one?s inner life is not always appropriate for a journal. The main thing is I need time, which just isn?t there this month. My strong desire, however, remains to remind devotees of the glories of Vrindaban and spiritual life during the month of Karttika.

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