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Karttika 2006: Japa Meditations – October 8-9, 2006

October 12th, 2006

Karttika 2006
Japa Meditations

October 8, 2006
Govardhana

Chanting is calling for the soul. What is the soul? The soul is consciousness. What is the nature of that consciousness? It is the mood of humble service. Where to find that consciousness within? It is our fixedness in guru, gratitude for the gifts of spiritual life, repentance for false ego, and the mood of humility in service. I call for the soul. Hare Krishna. Am I a sincere servant? I call for the soul. Hare Krishna. Where is my gratefulness? Am I thankful or spoiled? I call for the soul. Krishna Krishna. Am I sorry for forgetting God for a life of false ego? Krishna Krishna. I chant searching for the soul – the sincere, grateful, repentant and humble servant of guru.

October 9, 2006
Govardhana

Who is my friend, who is my enemy? A multitude of considerations, desires, and distinctions attack this sadhaka in his meditation. Such thoughts born of false ego cover the soul and make the name a stranger on my tongue. I chant for strength to avoid the mundane and to reveal the soul, the servant of Krishna.

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Karttika 2006: Japa Meditations – October 7, 2006

October 7th, 2006

Karttika 2006
Japa Meditations

October 7, 2006
Govardhana

Is Krishna there in His holy name even when chanted without devotion? Yes, but as a stranger. A stranger can stand before us, but not reveal themselves if we have no love or relationship with them. Similarly, if we chant without bhakti, without relationship or love, Sri Krishna’s essence, the beauty of His person, His very heart will not be revealed even when standing directly before us in His name. Chanting, therefore, begins by giving our heart to the Supreme in His most accessible manifestation, Sri Guru. I chant searching for Srila Prabhupada, to gauge my surrender and pray for it to deepen so that the heart of the holy name is revealed.

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Entering the Dhama 2006

October 6th, 2006

October 6, 2006
Vrindavana

Entering the Dhama 2006

“This is the first year in so many years that I entered the dhama without an incident,” I casually mention to Nityananda, my assistant this year in Vraja, “ Almost always on my first day something humbling happens.”

We are in Vrindavana for the day, my second day in Vraja, to tie up a few loose ends. This evening we will head back to Govardhana, where I arrived yesterday.

“Each year that I enter Vraja,” I continue, “there is some mystical encounter to help purify me of false ego. I consider these encounters the special mercy of Krishna to help me gain real entrance to the dhama. One year I had a run in with a black snake at the Yamuna; the next year I mistook some old tires as a black snake; then a bat landed on my shoulder and last year a monkey attempted to swipe my glasses at Kesi Ghat. Each time the confrontation happened on my very first day in dhama. All were humbling, but helpful in removing any vestiges of the false conception of controller and enjoyer – the antithesis of selfless servant, the mood that reveals Vraja.

“This year,” I explain, “in contrast, my entrance to the dhama has been only welcoming. I think it is because I already endured four intense month’s of purification in America.”

I then share with Nityananda my take on this sudden change of fortune in dhama entrance,“I did notice a special feeling of unworthiness this year approaching the dhama. Considering what I went through, how could I enter the dhama with ahankara, the conception that I am the controller? Nothing went my way practically the whole time I was in America.”

I further share my thoughts on my smooth arrival to Vraja, “I feel it as Krishna’s love for his forlorn devotee. After being so intensely criticized, it’s very soothing to feel a pleasant welcoming from the dhama. It’s only Srimati Radhika. Without her mercy nothing in Vraja happens.”

As we ride into the beginning of Loi Bazaar, I carefully take my glasses off and hold them in my hand weary of the place. It’s monkey ambush central for sure.

Shyamasundari suddenly rides past and sees me. She stops to greet me. “More good fortune,” I think to myself. Last year she graciously offered an exquisite hand painted outfit for Giriraja for Gaura Purnima. She designs most of the outfits for Sivaram Swami’s Deities in Hungary and offered to make outfits for Giriraja in reciprocation for my classes in Vrindavana. I was hoping that I would see her.

“Maharaja,” Shyamasundari explains, “I was looking for you. I just completed a new outfit for Giriraja. I was wondering how I would get it for you.”

“More good news” I thought, “everything I need is coming effortlessly.”

Thump! Whack! A quick slap on my hand. Chaos breaks. Time freezes in a moment of shock and confusion. I quickly come to my senses. My glasses are gone. I look up on the steel awning. Our furry enemy is gleefully twisting and chewing my glasses. No!

I run helplessly to the nearest fruit cart and grab some oranges. I throw them to the monkey. He doesn’t take the bait. He stares down and chews and chews on my glasses. The stakes are getting higher. He’s holding out, for bananas, but none are around. Will anything be left (of my glasses) by the time I find them?

The brijabasi children spring into action. They throw up some biscuits and then climb the wall. They are just barely hanging over edge, their legs dangling below the awning, hoping the monkey will drop the glasses in exchange. Our monkey, though, coolly moves from their reach. He continues to chomp on the frames. He’s laughing at me!

A small crowd gathers to watch the fun. The children try again. No luck.

All of sudden the monkey grabs the biscuits. One boy still hanging sweeps the awning with his hands. He’s got the glasses!

Miraculously they are fully intact except for a very small piece of rubber chewed from the end of the ear piece leaving the thin wire at the end exposed, a helpful reminder for my rest of my stay that I am certainly not the controller and enjoyer here.

Note: Kartik starts tomorrow. Hopefully I am now prepared now for some “trnad api” chanting. I pray for such realizations and that I may also share them with you.

Scrambled Thoughts on Grass

April 13th, 2006

Note: I had temporarily stopped writing my journal due to the phone sanga’s and a book I am writing, but I have no intention of stopping them. They will begin again and you should get then regularly beginning with today’s entry “Scrambled Thoughts on Grass”.

April 13, 2006
Boston

Scrambled Thoughts on Grass

Pradyumna, my god-brother, recently shared with me in his own words Bhaktivinoda Thakur’s interesting commentary on trnad api, “lower than a blade of grass” where the anonymity of the kirtaneer is described:

“Grass is so indistinct, that is not only insignificant, but is not even individually insignificant. It is just one of many indistinguishable blades in the same lawn. In the same way”, Pradyumna continued, “in real harinam sankirtan, one becomes just one among many not striving to stand out”

I repeated Pradyumna’s explanation according to Bhakivinoda in my phone sanga. An interesting discussion ensued. How to reconcile the humility/anonymity of a vaisnava with the need for individual self-expression? If pure devotion squelches personal distinction, it was asked, does it not contradict the very principle of our core philosophical outlook, that we are distinct entities with unique offerings of service to Sri Krishna.

One of our sanga listeners, Madan Mohan dasa, expressed this concern very succinctly in a letter to me which he entitled “scrambled thoughts on grass”

Dear Maharaja,

I had some impulses on the topic of grass, as mentioned in yesterday’s class.

Grass is associated poetically with the quality of humility in the Siksastakam. But where this takes my thoughts as a gardener may be quite different from where it takes the casual observer of grass.

I appreciate Pradyumna’s thoughts as you expressed them, though I’d like to further explore the implication that humility is somehow related to homogeneity. I’d lean away from the idea that humility implies blending in, like a blade of grass in a lawn. To me this conjures images of neutrality. It even sets off my alarm for impersonalism – non-distinction, non-variegation, oneness – and it also seems a bit cultish, as is American lawn care. It also describes only what the mundane human eye sees, not what God’s eye sees. Presumably, He sees each blade’s individuality, not just blobs of greenery.

My own spiritual chlorophyll is stimulated more by the idea of humility being expressed through service, and service being characterized by offering our individuality in a flavorful manner. I do understand though that individuality and distinction are not ends in themself, not the aims of service, just inevitable components of it. Variety is the spice of life, as the saying goes.

And in this regard I’d like to share a gardener’s inside scoop on grass. The big news here is that there is amazing variety in the grass family, and many are far from humble, in the ordinary sense. They are mainly highly utilitarian plants, doing humble service to mankind in many ways – food (grains are grasses), shelter (thatching material, bamboo lumber), basketry, musical instruments, etc. – yet they are certainly not all small, trodden-under-foot creatures. Some grasses are even shade-giving giants, reaching skyward to heights of 70 feet or more in the case of bamboo, which is a grass.

There is much variation in growth habit, color, flowering characteristic, etc. I have an encyclopedia of grasses which shows their amazing variety. Grasses are rather more dramatic components than “humble” ones, when it comes to garden making. So to me the humility of a blade of grass lies mostly in its honest, practical contribution to the whole, not its shy, non-difference from its neighbor.

A middle-class American will probably just think of grass as lawn grass – boring, homogenous, impersonal, suburban, living carpet, good little botanical soldiers marching to the beat, mowed into apparent oneness. But a garden artist will see creative opportunity in the grass family and all its variety and personality.

And the most treasured grasses for a garden artist are those that exhibit some kind of rare, interest-enhancing mutation, such as when a green blade exhibits some kind of white or yellow stripe, known as “variegation” in this field. These mutations are sought by the connoisseur, and fetch a collector’s price.

I’d prefer to think of Krsna as the connoisseur, and devotees as the rare, variegated plants in His garden, serving “humbly” by displaying their individual beauty tastefully – sometimes harmoniously in a mass composition, and sometimes as dramatic focal points, showing off their attributes in contrast to neighboring plants, all depending on the needs of the space and the inspiration of the, dare I say, lila shakti, expressed through the gardener’s heart.

In expressing all this, I realize that to a middle-class “American” audience this poeticism may be repulsive. I appreciate therefore the practical value of a less florid presentation, but I just couldn’t keep my mutated-middle-class-American self from saying something.

Am I fair or foul?

Madan Mohan das

I quickly replied:

Jaya! I like it. It brings up the problem with analogies. If I say to a very attractive person that your face is like the moon am I complementing them or insulting them? Am I saying that their face is bright or their face is comically spherical? So in the same way what are we trying to say by that analogy of the grass? In the next sanga I will read what you wrote and try to discuss it. Yes, I have to make that analogy more precise and perhaps you as a listener may have to try harder to see the compliment in it. This is a quick reply, but I need to think more about it. Thanks for the thoughtfulness.

In the next sanga I read Madana Mohan’s letter and commented:

One naturally processes information according to ones experience. If one has felt from the participation in institutions too much an absolute dichotomy between anonymity/humility and individuality, then certainly the analogy of the anonymity of grass could seem stifling to personhood rather than its intended message, the discouragement of egoism. Unfortunately, that has too often been the case.

In other words, being like a blade of grass does not intend to encourage the annihilation of individuality or talent in Krishna’s service, but to dissuade the use of egotism, the desire to standout rather than serve.

Envision the non “trnad api kirtan”:

The mrdanga player goes off into an incredible riff. Their wonderful dexterity and speed are obviously used to standout as drummer, but in the process the subtle tempo and over-all offering of kirtan is compromised.

The singer passionately then goes into a virtuoso performance basking in their talent. The mood of devotion of the song, however, is lost. Bhakti does not flow from the heart of the performers. The participants and audience is not inspired in devotion.

Envision a “trnad api kirtan”:

Each member with his individual talents carefully serves the kirtan to make it as tasteful as possible for the pleasure of Krishna.

Kirtan is done solely for Krishna’s pleasure. Each member willingly becomes an equal and anonymous contributor to its perfection for the pleasure of Krishna like a string instrument in a symphony orchestra. The happiness of devotion flows from the heart and the audience is moved by devotion.

Sudevi, a sanga member studying at Radhadesh in Belgium, sent me another analogy to help reconcile the apparent contradiction of the devotee’s want for anonymity with their individuality in devotion. She heard it in a lecture from her spiritual master, Radhanatha Swami. It’s from the instructions of Ramanujacarya to Anantacarya:

“A vaisnava is like salt. Although salt brings out the total flavor of a gourmet preparation more than any other part, it remains hidden, and we glorify every other ingredient but salt. Similarly a true devotee performs all kinds of service, even great things, but always prefers to remain hidden, not seeking credit or glory.

“Also the salt melts giving up its individual identity to increase the taste of the whole offering. In the same way the devotee is willing to sacrifice everything, even the recognition of their contribution, to make the best offering to Krishna.

“Although the salt melts, it doesn’t merge. It still remains distinct. Likewise the humble devotee has their unique offering to make in the service in Sri Krishna.”

The Essence of all Japa Thoughts

December 29th, 2005

December 28, 2005
Vrindavana

The Essence of all Japa Thoughts I*

Absorption in the Absolute Reality, Sri Krishna, is the essence of spiritual advancement.

We voluntarily absorb the mind in something either by our intelligence (we should absorb the mind), or spontaneously by the heart (we want to absorb the mind).

Naturally the mind is more absorbed in things we want to do than we are obligated for.

The key to absorption is thus emotional involvement with the object of our meditation, favorable or even unfavorable.

To increase our focus on the holy name we thus have to come to the platform of attachment (rag), emotional involvement with the holy name.

What to do if we are neophytes, if we have no spontaneous liking for Krishna?

Do we want attachment?

Yes.

Then we should humbly despair, “I have no attachment.”

One way or another, we must come to the platform of feeling for the holy name.

How?

Bring yourself, in mind, in the presence of an object of your spiritual liking (however shallow that love may be) and pray.

“I have no attachment”

Pray to the holy name.

Pray to the spiritual master.

Envision Sri Vrindavana Dhama or a beloved Deity and despair:

“I have no attachment!”

Wanting to have some attachment is also attachment as a desire for a desire is that desire in its budding stage.

But one way or another come to the platform of the heart for:

Absorption in the holy name is essence of all spiritual advancement and the key to such concentration is some feeling for the object of our meditation.

December 29, 2005
Vrindavana

The Essence of all Japa Thoughts II

When there are feelings of attachment, there are feelings of separation for the object of affection.

Feelings of separation increase attachment and thus absorb the mind even more.

We are not with Krishna. Lament.

*This is not the essence of all japa thoughts for everyone. In my modest practice I found this thought particularly essential to impel absorption.

Why Radha Kund is the highest place.

November 15th, 2005

Karttika Thought:
Why Radha Kund is the highest place.

Why is Radha Kunda the highest place? In Sri Upadesamrta it is even described as higher than the Vrindavana forest or Govardhana Hill.

What is the principle that makes one place higher than another?

Hint: Is your work place a suitable place to be with friends and family? Is your living room a more desirable place for you than your work place? Why?

A place is higher by the facility it provides to exchange love.

According to one’s desire to exchange love, one creates a corresponding place to enjoy that love. The more a place makes intimate love possible, the higher we value it.

For ruling and accepting the reverence of his subjects, the King manifests his court, throne, and majesty. To enjoy family and friends, he makes a living room where he can be himself and enjoy with his loved ones, a place he naturally values more than his court.
When, however, he desires the most intimate exchanges of romantic love he goes to his inner secluded quarters, the place he values most.

Similarly according to Sri Krishna’s desire to enjoy progressive varieties of love, corresponding environments are manifest by His unlimited potency to facilitate such pleasure. But when Sri Krishna wants to eternally enjoy the highest exchange of love with His most intimate lovers, He naturally reveals the sweetest and most romantic spiritual atmosphere. In other words, He eternally manifests Sri Radha Kunda.

But why is Radha Kunda higher than even Govardhana or the Vrindavana forests?

In the Vrindavana Forests and even in Sri Govardhana, his friends frolic and his elders pass. Radha Kunda, however, is located in the most secluded and uninhabited corner of that mountainous Govardhana. There, even his friends never pass, especially as he only visits Radha Kunda to meet Sri Radha when everyone in Vraja is resting after their mid-day meal. As it is the place where Sri Krishna, the Absolute Reality, gains the most confidence to open His heart fully to Sri Radha, his greatest lover, it is naturally acclaimed as the highest site in creation.

November 15, 2005
Govardhana

The following is a letter I received at the end of Karttika from a mature and dedicated servant of Srila Prabhupada’s mission who was inspired by reading my “Japa Thoughts” and Maha Nidhi Swami’s “The Art of Chanting”. I will use that letter as our final japa thought for Karttika.

Final Karttika Japa Thought XV:

“I’m very grateful to you for your “Japa Thoughts”. I read them all the time and I want to meditate on the Holy Name and to get the taste and faith.

Today during japa, I asked the Holy Name to help me chant with mamata, I’ve chanted all 16 rounds in one set. I meditated on Krishna’s pastimes in Vrindavan, then the childish pastimes of Nimai in Navadvipa, then the battlefield of Kuruksetra when the residents of Vrindavana came to see Krishna during the eclipse. Then I thought what Srimati Radharani, the gopis, and especially Mother Yasoda (because she is closer to me as I’m a mother and a grandmother) felt when they had to go back to Vrindavana without Krishna.

I felt so much separated from Krishna that I wanted to die without Him. Everything else was useless.

I felt something did enter my heart. Although maybe it was not in the purest sense, but it was the first time that I felt such a sentiment and I would like to keep it in my heart forever.”

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An Argument for God As A Blue Boy II

November 8th, 2005

November 8, 2005
Govardhana

I received helpful feedback about my argument for God as a blue boy. I’ll share that below and then include my response to the final letter.

“Watch out for reasonable arguments. It might also be reasonable that He would assume many different forms to enjoy in different ways.”

“The argument below is for an absolute entity that functions according to its own pleasure and thrives on love. It does NOT provide an argument for God as a blue boy. You should re-work the title and the first sentence.”

“God as a blue boy is a sharp contrast to a brooding old man waiting to send people to eternal hell.”

“Yes, of course. But what about the ‘blue’ component? Is there some way that the blueness relates to this?”

Thanks for picking that up. Let me clarify.

I was not making the argument that Krishna being blue is reasonable, but arguing that Krishna (who is blue) as God is reasonable. Perhaps I could have made that more clear. Would the article be better titled, “An argument for God as Krishna, a blue boy”?” I believe so.

Now let me try to make an argument that Krishna being blue is reasonable.

God is causeless. Logic is based on cause and effect -how things operate in this world under the observable laws of nature. By definition, the nature of God, such as his color, can never be proved by logic as that would subjugate Him to the laws of nature. Thus the only explanation for God being blue is His own sweet will.

I can argue that God is blue. How? If it is His own sweet will what color He is, then certainly He can be blue. But all that says is that He can be anything He wants and such arguments lead to the absurd.

Our real argument concerns pramana, our means of knowing. If we can establish that sabda-brahman (revealed scripture) is reasonable, we then can argue about the nature of God on the basis of sastra.

Finally Mahamuni dasa sent me a simple analysis of the argument:

The argument breakdown:

Premises:
1. For something to be reasonable it must in some way conform to some type of accepted experience.
2. Every being moves for their own pleasure.
3. The greatest pleasure is love.

It seems that the conclusion is:

If there is a (personal) God, then it is reasonable that God would move for his pleasure, and therefore for love. And Krishna as manifest in Vrndavana seems to be a reasonable way that God would do so.

What’s missing is an elaboration of why Krishna as manifest in Vraja would best manifest love, but I suppose that when speaking among devotees, it is pretty clear why. Also note that no argument for God’s existence is made here. The conclusion is in the form of a conditional: IF there is a God…

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Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance Day

November 7th, 2005

November 4, 2005
Govardhana

Japa Thought XI:
Mercy is the distance between the value of what we are getting and our sense of qualification to receive it. Therefore, the more humble we are (the less deserving we deem ourselves) the more we feel mercy. This feeling of mercy is the taste for chanting. Thus in a humble state of mind, bathed in mercy and feeling consequent affection for the gracious giver of mercy, we can chant the holy name constantly. Thus tranad api…

Japa Thought XII:
How to feel humble? Simple—introspect and be honest with ourselves.

November 5, 2005
Srila Prabhupada’s Disappearance Festival
Govardhana

The main festival is in Sri Sri Krishna Balalram Mandir where Srila Prabhupada left this world. A small group of us, however—Hari Sauri Prabhu, Jayadvaita Swami, Kesava Bharati Maharaja, Gopi-paranadhana Prabhu, and myself—stay in Govardhana to commemorate the day at the ashram here. The festival is intimate and has its own unique attraction.

Hari Sauri Prabhu spoke for nearly three hours on Srila Prabhupada and book publishing. It wasn’t planned that way, but as he spoke we all unanimously deferred our speaking time to him. The senior devotees in attendance, except for myself (though I also write and publish on my own), primarily serve in the BBT by translating and editing books, so this subject was particularly intriguing to us. Although by Hari Sauri’s own admission, it wasn’t a comprehensive presentation on the subject. It was only based on what he noted down while serving Srila Prabhupada and it was clear that he could have spoken much longer.

I jotted down a few notes about his talk. Two of my favorites:

“Srila Prabhupada told me how he used to walk the streets of Delhi selling Back to Godhead and for other publishing related work. He described to me how during this time he was seriously gored by a bull and that the knock was so forceful that he was convinced it was fatal. As he was flying through the air his initial thought was ‘I am being punished for leaving my family.’ He then quickly checked his thought. He meditated on Rupa Raghunatha and felt complete relief.”

“Harikesa Swami told me that Srila Prabhupada had darshan of Srila Rupa Gosvami at Radha Damodar. I therefore asked Srila Prabhupada if that was true. He quickly dismissed me saying, ‘Oh everyone knows that.’ What could I say? I basically forgot about it for almost twenty-eight years until last year. A new book on Srila Prabhupada was published by Mulaprkrti comprised of interviews with people who knew him in India before he created ISKCON. In one interview, Gopal Chandra Bose, a respected scholar from Vrindavana, describes his visits to see Srila Prabhupada at Radha Damodar in his youth. On one such visit Srila Prabhupada shared with him a special secret. The previous night while chanting by Sri Rupa’s Samadhi he had darshan of Srila Rupa Gosvami. It not only confirmed something Srila Prabhupada had only cryptically affirmed twenty-eight years before, but finally I was able to hear the details. There is no doubt that Srila Prabhupada was receiving special encouragement from the Six Gosvami’s to write his books and to envision the spreading of Sri Caitanya’s teachings all over the world.”

I was also quite happy to hear this. Did Srila Rupa Gosvami actually appear before Srila Prabhupada? It’s certainly possible. What we do know for sure is that by the grace of the transcendental system Srila Prabhupada was given shelter at the foot of Srila Rupa Gosvami’s Samadhi and developed a deep and an intimate relationship with him that inspired his mission.

November 6, 2005
Govardhana

Japa Thought XIII:
The sixth treasure of the holy name, according to the Siksastakam, is that one relishes nectar at every step. It’s a description of prema-bhakti, an advanced stage of Krishna consciousness. Bhaktivinoda Thakur, however, gives an analysis of this verse that makes it immediately applicable in our chanting. He says that this sixth treasure of the holy name means, among other things, that one can relish each and every one of the sixteen syllables of the maha-mantra. I am not relishing prema-bhakti at every step, but by chanting each syllable with the intention of trying to relish nectar at every step, it definitely brings one towards that goal.

November 7, 2005
Govardhana

Japa Thought XIV:
When we think we are the controllers, we can’t recognize who is. If one is thus proud (attached to the false ego) one can neither hear nor realize Krishna in the form of the holy name. Chanting thus means to bow our heads to each syllable of the holy name begging for service, otherwise how will it be possible to realize its sweet presence?

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An Argument for God As A Blue Boy

November 3rd, 2005

November 3, 2005
Govardhana

Karttika Thought: An argument for God as a blue boy

God, a blue boy? Yes. It’s reasonable. How? For something to be reasonable it must in some way conform to some type of accepted experience. How can Krishna possibly conform to our common experience? Simple, we perceive two undeniable principles in this world; first, every being moves for their own pleasure, second, that pleasure is love. If there is an Absolute Reality, would it not then be reasonable to assume that it also moves for its own pleasure and that pleasure is love. Is it also not sound to presume that an omnipotent being would not only actualize its desire for its own pleasure, but also enjoy such love to the highest degree? Is it not, therefore, sensible to consider that Sri Krishna – an exquisite blue boy eternally enjoying the highest development of love (rasa) in a world meant to perfectly facilitate that love (Vrindavana) – is a reasonable conception of the Absolute Reality?

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Kartika Journal – Govardhana Puja and Japa Thoughts

November 2nd, 2005

November 1, 2005
Sri Govardhana Puja
Govardhana

Gopiparanadhana Prabhu offered a point in his morning lecture that I’d never heard before: “It is said in Govardhana that if you see a herd of white cows on Govardhan Hill, but there is no gwala (cowherd), they are Krishna and Balarama’s cows and They are also there, although we may not see them.”

Gauranga Prabhu from Chowpatty called me this morning to see if I could accompany him and five hundred devotees from Bombay/Pune on parikram. I welcomed the opportunity. Unfortunately, I could only come for a short time due to previous commitments here, at the ISKCON Bhaktivedanta ashrama.

We choose a suitable place in the forest twenty minutes down the road from the ashram for my talk. I sit on a small raised dirt mound about twenty yards from Govardhan Hill. It’s a perfect sitting place. As I speak the devotees can simultaneously face me and be in direct view of Govardhan. All of a sudden, half way through my talk, the devotees light up. They are looking behind me. I turn around. A large herd of more than fifty healthy white cows peacefully pass by happily grazing by the side of Giriraja. I look around, but there is absolutely not a single gwala (cowherd) in sight.

“It’s Krishna Balarama’s cows!” I excitedly tell the devotees and relate what I had just heard an hour before from Gopi. The sight and the thought create a wonderful mood. The devotees are joyous to have glimpsed the eternal dhama and on such an auspicious day!

November 2, 2005
Govardhana

Japa Thought X:
Many things are just beyond my control, including the perfection of my spiritual life. I am powerless in so many ways, but I am never hopeless. I take shelter of the holy name with full confidence that all problems are solved by this simple vibration. Whatever my situation, I am certain that the holy name will do what’s best. That gives me comfort. I pray, however, for love (bhakti). That is the real need of the heart. All other wants are just misplaced yearnings for that.

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