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Bhaktivedanta Hospital – Bombay Today

February 21st, 2001

Bhaktivedanta Hospital – Bombay

Today is the only day I have a chance to get out on my stand-by pass as the airlines will soon get too crowded. If I don’t get on today, then I will have to purchase another ticket at a great expense. I am also taking the risk of leaving today, since you usually get business class with my pass, and this would, perhaps, make the journey tolerable. The doctors have advised that I not travel today because of the discomfort and pain, but they still assure me the risk to my overall health and recovery will probably not be jeopardized.

I go to the airport and wait for several hours, but there are absolutely no seats available even though I was told this morning that my chances were good. I realize that there are practically no more off-season flights in India, as the planes are almost always booked, and that my pass is almost useless. I’m actually relieved, however, to come back to the hospital since the trip would have certainly been hell.

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Bhaktivedanta Hospital – Bombay I

February 20th, 2001

Bhaktivedanta Hospital – Bombay

I am meeting so many substantial devotees here, many whom I have known before. Yesterday I spoke with Damodar Pandit from the hospital?s spiritual care department. I?ve known him since the early 1980s when he was in charge of the Bhakti-Kala-Ksetra theatre in Hare Krishna Land, Juhu. He’s a very compassionate person, a missionary in the traditional sense, and works tirelessly day and night comforting those suffering in the hospital by giving them spiritual knowledge. He cannot recall one person who was not receptive.

His background is interesting. He met Harikesa and Sacinananda Maharaja at a program in Vienna where he was going to school at the time. He was, at the time, a South Indian Christian, whose mother was a pious catholic who even helped Mother Theresa.

He shared his realizations with me:

?When one is suffering disease, being denied pleasure, they often tend to want to take shelter of material enjoyment. Their suffering only increases. If, however, they take shelter of spirituality, to the extent that they do, their suffering decreases. It’s a scientific formula. It’s amazing to see the relief the patients automatically feel by just a little transcendental knowledge and how many of them become inspired to go further in spiritual life. I am dedicating my life to helping people in this way. What else is there to live for??

Damodar Pandit?s wife died of cancer and by seeing her totally conquer fear by her faith in Krishna, he accepted her as a type of guru. When she died he became completely detached and dedicated his life to sharing with sick or dying people what he had learned from her. I am very inspired by such devotees who are selfless and detached, concerned only for the welfare of others.

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Bhaktivedanta Hospital – Bombay A

February 19th, 2001

Bhaktivedanta Hospital – Bombay

A surgeon’s life is very hectic. He may be called upon for an emergency operation at any hour of the day, sometimes even in the middle of the night. I therefore appreciate that Krishna Prema visits me daily to deal with a few minor complications from the surgery.

During his visits we mostly speak krishna-katha and today we spoke for several hours. I heard that Krishna Prema has made many of his patients Krishna conscious. I don’t remember the number, but I seem to remember the number at either thirty or eighty. I was curious how he is was able to introduce so many people to Krishna consciousness, most of them now chanting sixteen rounds, and asked him how he does it.

He explained that although he doesn’t overtly try to convert his patients to Krishna consciousness, several factors cause the patients to inquire about devotional service. He wears tilak. The patients are impressed with the hospital and the character and spirituality of the doctors. The doctor-patient relationship is naturally one of respect. In addition, I observe that he is a very personable, approachable, and is a good communicator.

I like the concept of introducing people to Krishna consciousness by showing how our philosophy is practically demonstrated through our character and work in the world. I see this type of outreach as the future of Krishna consciousness, especially in America, although attractive centers of Krishna consciousness to invite people to are also important. I’ve already seen many examples of this, where people who would ordinarily never meet devotees are introduced to Krishna consciousness by becoming attracted to the character of a devotee at work. One example stands out in my mind.

Kunja-Kisori was a secretary at a fairly large advertising corporation in New York City. She was competent, well-liked, and did not hide that she was a devotee. She was therefore able to invite me to her office on a Friday afternoon and inform the staff there that her guru was coming. It was an informal dress-down day at the office, but still, I was surprised to see that over 40 people left their offices to meet me by her desk. I visited many other offices in her firm as well. At one office, I was given a bouquet of flowers. At another office, a respectable looking middle-aged man with a full crop of gray hair suddenly appeared at our door, handed me a banana, and with a smile on his face totally surprised me by saying, ?Have some some prasadam! There was even one computer print out on one office door that read ?WELCOME HARE KRISHNA!?

If there were a Krishna conscious center in Manhattan at the time I would have invited her whole office, and certainly many would have come. I was, however, able to arrange a dinner program at a friend?s apartment on the Upper West Side, but unfortunately, by apartment rules, only fifteen guests could be hosted. When I was organizing the program with Kunja-Kisori, she had to be very thoughtful on whom to invite because there were more people interested then we could accommodate. It was a successful program. Fifteen people came, including the production manager and senior writer, and I became convinced that this approach to introducing Krishna consciousness was very effective.

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Bhaktivedanta Hospital – Bombay I

February 18th, 2001

Bhaktivedanta Hospital – Bombay

I saw an interesting article in the newspaper. A muftir?a muslim priest?blames the earthquake in Gujarat to the degradation of the youth caused by television, which has angered Allah. The article reports that after hearing the muftir’s judgment, Muslim youth from all over Gujarat have been pouring out into the streets by the hundreds smashing their families? television sets.

His analysis is a bit simplistic, but there is also truth to it. The ultimate cause of suffering is turning the turning the consciousness from God and there is no medium more powerful in absorbing and diverting the consciousness to the external energy than TV. A devotee home is usually much better with out it.

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Bhaktivedanata Hospital – Bombay The

February 17th, 2001

Bhaktivedanata Hospital – Bombay

The body is naturally traumatized and doesn’t work normally. Sometimes pain, but just general discomfort. I can live with it, but I’m not at all productive.

Srila Prabhupada?s soothing voice plays day and night in my room. My condition forces me to be dependent. It creates the proper mood to hear. My body pains, but my heart is soothed and soothed by the shelter of Srila Prabhupada’s deep, melodic, and tonic voice.

An unexpected fruit of my hospital stay: increased attachment to the refuge of Srila Prabhupada?s lotus feet.

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Bhaktivedanta Hospital – Bombay I?ve

February 16th, 2001

Bhaktivedanta Hospital – Bombay

I?ve never been in an operation theatre before. At least the doctor wears tilak and Srila Prabhupada’s soothing voice is in the background. The anaesthesiologist gives me a spinal tap. From the waste down I am complete numb to the extent that I have no awareness of where my legs are. I try to move them, but there’s absolutely no trace of a connection between my will and my kinesis. It is humbling. I am not even the controller of my basic functions.

I am conscious during the whole operation, but feel nothing. I didn’t know what to expect but I’m reasonably relaxed and able to chant. Toward the end, I hear the doctor singing along with Srila Prabhupada’s tape?a sure sign that things went well.

Post operation room: Sensation returns to my legs and so does the pain. It’s barely tolerable, but the thought of living like this for a day seems tortuous. No choice but to take shelter of the holy name.

The nurses wheel me to my room, then intravenous injections are administered and I am pumped with drugs. Pain is gone, but I must lie with my legs up without drinking or eating for the rest of the day. I don’t know what they gave me, but it must be quite powerful, because I lie on my back reading Bhakti-sandarbha for several hours, and don’t even sleep for the rest of the day.

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Bhaktivedanata Hospital – Bombay When

February 15th, 2001

Bhaktivedanata Hospital – Bombay

When I met Malati Mataji in Vrindaban and told her that I was going to Bombay for a minor surgery she remarked casually that the Bhaktivedanta Hospital has become a favorite pit stop for many devotees. I like the analogy: a few wheels changed, a screw turned, a part removed and fixed, some gas in the tank, and back out to race as normal.

I am trying to remain detached, being happy with Krishna’s will. I don’t like when my world moves so antithetical to my plans, but I’ve had plenty of practice in the last five years, so I’m fairly resigned to my fate.

Krishna Prema, my surgeon, meets me at 10 in the morning and informs me that he will operate tomorrow at 7am. He also arranges for a few pre-operative procedures today.

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Bhaktivedanta Hospital – Bombay I

February 14th, 2001

Bhaktivedanta Hospital – Bombay

I rise early on the train and chant with a determination to carry the spirit of the dhama with me. For each round, I systematically recall a place of pilgrimage we visited and the sentiments of devotion that inspired me there. It makes for good train chanting and I am able to chant most of the time until our destination. But can I maintain my zeal without the facility of the dhama to nourish my enthusiasm for chanting?

I stop at the Radha-Gopinatha Mandir for prasadam, and then it?s on to the hospital for check in.

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Vrindaban /Govardhana /Bombay I leave

February 13th, 2001

Vrindaban /Govardhana /Bombay

I leave the japa-kutir early this morning to spend my last day in the dhama at Govardhana. I have the taxi stop in front of the Sri Krishna-Balarams Mandir for a quick darshan of Sri Sri Radha-Shyamasundara.

At the temple I beg every devotee I meet to pray that I may return. I then follow my ritual of leaving the dhama: I hug saintly Vibhu Caitanya, then take caranamrita from his hand, point to Sri Sri Radha-Shyamasundara and, in broken Hindi, beg him to request Radhe-Shyam for my quick return. He smiles and nods.

On my way to Govardhana, I stop at Radha-kunda for one last bath. I pray to be able to assimilate my experiences in Vrindaban so that I may incorporate them in my life even outside the dhama.

A realization comes: although Vrindaban is glorious and an unparalleled inspiration for spiritual life, more important is to take full shelter of the holy name and remain in good consciousness regardless of one’s place of residence.

After Radha-kunda, lunch, and rest at the Bhaktivedanta Ashram, I leave for Mathura to catch the evening train to Bombay.

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Srila Bhaktisiddhanta?s Appearance Day Srila

February 12th, 2001

Srila Bhaktisiddhanta?s Appearance Day
Srila Goura Govinda Swami?s Disappearance Day

“You shine forth as the natural leading monarch among the highest class of devotees, and you are the exclusive, ultimate aim of the highest class of devotees, and you are the exclusive, ultimate aim of the truly fallen due to your far-reaching merciful embrace. Your inconceivable lotus feet bestow full shelter for the cheater and the cheated. I eternally offer my respects unto that charming effulgence that shines forth from the radiant lotus toe-tips of Srila Bhaaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Thakur Prabhupada.” (Sri Prabhupada-Padma-Stavah by Srila Bhakti Raksaka Sridhar Maharaja)

It’s an auspicious day and I want to take advantage of it, but I?m inclined to honor Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakur in a more secluded way. I have a quiet celebration at the japa-kutir. I do an arati to Srila Bhaktisiddhanta, sing the Sri Prabhupada-Padma-Stavah, and then leave for Radha-Damodara to offer a garland at the puspa-samadhi of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta.

Srila Prabhupada said that the grandfather is more merciful than the father, so I remember Srila Bhaktisiddhanta’s glories and pray for his mercy.

Srila Bhaktisiddhanta’s father, Srila Bhaktivinoda, prayed for a ray of Vishnu?a great soul to revitalize the tradition and teachings of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. When a spiritual tradition needs to be revitalized, deep realization is required to make the teachings relevant to the times. If one lacks such realization, one might either fanatically maintain all the customary forms of the tradition?even if that makes the message of Krishna consciousness seem incommunicable or irrelevant?or liberally change the established forms of the tradition in the name of preaching, losing the essence of those teachings in the process.

Srila Bhaktisiddhanta, however, was a qualified Krishna conscious revolutionary. For the sake of spreading Krishna consciousness, he was able to radically alter some aspects of the tradition without compromising the essence of the teachings. Time has come to take me from Vrindaban. Although I have not left yet, I am already beginning to miss staying here. As it was my home for half my life, it is hard for me to analyze the depth of the spirituality of my attachment and separation for Vrindaban. Regardless, these feelings of separation and the tirobhava-tithi-mahotsava (the disappearance day) of Srila Gaura Govinda Swami inspired me to read his remarkable analysis of the intricacies of union and separation in his recorded lecture “The Fainting of Ramananda Raya.”

“There are three types of separation and they are all discussed in Rupa Goswami’s Ujjvala-Nilamani. Similarly, as there are three types of separation, there are also three types of union, milana. The three types of separation are bhavi, bhuta, and bhavan. First we will explain what is bhavi-viraha, what is bhuta-viraha, and what is bhavan-viraha. With concentrated attention one should hear about such topics and try to understand them. If Mahaprabhu will shower His mercy upon us it will be possible.

?Akrura has come to Vrindaban to take away Krishna. He has not yet taken Krishna away, though it must take place. When the gopis think of this, they feel some pangs of separation. This is bhavi-viraha It has not taken place, but Akrura has arrived and must take Krishna away. At that time they felt pangs of separation. This is known as bhavi-viraha.

?Then bhuta-viraha is explained in this way. After Akrura had taken Krishna away, day after day passed by. The more the days passed, the pangs of separation became more and more acute. This is known as bhuta-viraha.

?Then what is bhavan-viraha. The gopis are looking on, seeing Akrura taking away their prana-kanta, the most beloved of their eyes. Akrura is taken away their life. All the gopis came and through themselves before the wheels of the chariot. ?Our life is getting out. How can we survive? Let the wheels of the chariot roll on our bodies. Let our bodies be crushed. Let us leave these bodies.? They are rolling on the ground now. This is known as bhavan-viraha. The pangs of separation during this bhavan-viraha are most acute. So bhavi, bhuta, and bhavan?acute, more acute, and most acute.? (The Embankment of Separation, His Divine Grace Gour Govinda Swami Maharaja, p. 29)

The lady who came to my room two days ago returned to ask questions about Krishna. She asks many intelligent questions. An opportunity to preach like this in Vrindaban is a natural way to honor the spirit of Srila Bhaktisiddhanta on his appearance day. Gokula Taruni has also come and I have asked her to arrange a basic class for her while she is here.

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