Dhanurdhara Swami November 15th, 2002
Bitterness and Hurt:
Bhurijana visited the ashram today and came to my room. He specifically asked about my chanting this month. I discussed my realizations with him and he shared his.
He asked if I was happy in Govardhana. I said I was, but that I also shared some lingering resentment that seemed to arise occasionally over some past experiences. I liked his advice about how he deals with similar feelings that most of us seem to have:
“Don’t try to artificially transcend those feelings because they could come back to haunt you. I learned an effective psychological technique to deal with them that is congruent with Bhagavat philosophy. You feel the anger and bitterness, not transcend it, and you remove yourself in your mind from the circumstances and people responsible. Then, meditating on those feelings but divorced from the situation in which they arose, transfer them to your own karma and accept them in the mood that it is a token reaction for one’s own mistakes–tat te nukampam. In other words, if needed, keep those emotions, but see yourself as the cause. I usually find this way of dealing with the past very effective in purifying oneself of the type of resentment that can force one to take birth again to repay it. I don’t want to come back.”
I tried his meditation on the spot. Very effective.
Our Door to the Spiritual World:
As I discussed my chanting with Bhurijana Prabhu, we broached the subject of how individualistically spiritual life can develop; how different Godbrothers approach both their spiritual practices and internal spiritual life in such variant ways, yet still within the general framework of the principles of Krishna consciousness that Srila Prabhupada gave us. Bhurijana added a profound point to the discussion:
“It seems that the ‘taste’ that Krishna has given us is our door to the spiritual world and we should follow it.”