Dhanurdhara Swami January 8th, 2001
Up early for studies, a little exercise, chanting, bathing, and then giriraja-puja. A morning filled with spiritual sound has a strong effect on one?s consciousness. Today I will need it.
Got into an argument with Panditji, our chokidar (the gatekeeper). He didn?t give a bill for some items he was supposed to purchase for the ashram, and some things that he bought were definitely used. He is generally respectful in his own loud way, but he is very proud and has a terrible temper. Although it is certain that he cheated us, he took offense that I questioned him. He now also comes and goes when he wants. I complained to Muna, our neighbor, who is supposed to be managing the japa-kutir for Baladeva. Muna says he will speak to the chokidar. Panditji does keep the place very clean and well repaired, but I prefer that he is not here. I just tolerate. Some young Indian devotees who I helped bring to Krishna consciousness came to see me to complain about how they are being treated. The issue is somewhat complex and the people dealing with them have legitimate concerns. I make some calls and try to mediate. It could have been resolved easily, but now the differences seem irreconcilable. It?s a touch of the craziness of kali-yuga, the age of quarrel and confusion. When my service in Vrindaban was administration, this would have been a typical day. Actually with the problems we had to face it would have even been one of the more relatively peaceful days! I now have quite a different life and it?s a blessing. I want to keep Vrindaban sacred which is difficult for me to do in the midst of constant turmoil. I didn?t come here for that.